Would you send to a primary knowing they'll go to secondary alone?

[Babysharkdododont]

We want ds to go to the local Catholic comp (we are practicing Catholics) but due to the geography and wrap around care he won't be able to attend the Catholic primary easily.
We believe we'd get a place at the comp as we attend church, he'll make his Communion, and the Priest will support our application.
The problem is if he goes to the absolutely lovely primary that's 2 streets away it's extremely likely that he'll be the only child from his school going to the comprehensive, and will be outside of the already established friendship groups.
Has anyone any advice as I've tied myself up in knots - thanks in advance.

I was the only one from my primary school to go to the C of E secondary. I had a friend from church and friend from Guides, but both of them were in the other half of the year so I didn't have any lessons with them. An older girl from church was tasked with keeping an eye on me on the bus. It was all fine. I made immediate friends in my class, and through them met lifelong friends. I kept in touch with one friend from primary as we sang in the same choir. The only disadvantage was that all my new friends were driving distance away, which was mostly a pain for my mum - not sure if that's a factor for you.

I think he'll be glad of the change of faces by then as he's getting fed up with some of the cliques in his current school. Precisely. Most of them are ready to move on.

I guess it's nice to have the comfort of knowing some friendly faces on the first few days at secondary school but really its then irrelevant.

I think about four other girls from DD's primary school cohort moved on to secondary school with her (one in the same tutor group) but she has nothing to do with any of them now.

That's a tricky one. I'd agree that children make new friends at secondary school, it's a time of big change for them.

However - the Catholic high school in my area is the most oversubscribed (it's not the best school either) so if you really think that you want your child to go there and the primary school moves you up the criteria at all, I would opt for that one.

I do think it's more likely that your child will want to go to a high school with their classmates tbh!

None of my DS's primary class went to his secondary school. The secondary takes in pupils from around 30 primaries - there were no specific "feeder" primaries. In fact, most of his secondary school class were "only ones" as they spread them around the forms. My son loved it as they were all in the same boat and all had to make new friends, with no established friend groups.

When starting secondary, it really doesn't matter unless there are obvious major feeder primaries, but even then, there'll still be odd pupils from other primaries, also eager to make new friends.

@Chocolatecake12

Surely he’ll know other children from clubs outside of school? Church? My ds started secondary school with 9 other children from his primary but was put into a speedster class from them all and made friends fine. Children change schools mid way through years and don’t know anyone and are fine. You’re massively overthinking this.

Look mums, I'm in my late pre-teens/tweens and none of my primary friends went to my secondary school. It's especially hard since I'm shy so I have made a lot more friends than I expected (20)! Only 3 of them are my close friend but you get the gist. I now have the opportunity to move to a school with my primary friend. My mum and sister want me to go. But I|'m worried I'll miss my old school. What do you think?

I went to a Catholic comp and there were children from all over the place, many who hadn’t come from the same primary school as any others. Some others from my primary school did go but ended up in different form classes so I made new friends anyway.

Lots of parents worry about their children not knowing anyone at ea h stage of moving on. It happens as they leave nursery and then infants and then juniors. I think lots of adults lack confidence in new situations themselves and imagine their children will feel like this too….and often these feelings are projected onto the children and they take them onboard themselves.

I have known a number of parents who could have had a place at a better school but didn’t take it because they worried their child would find it hard not to know other children. Likewise, I have known parents who had grown up in an area and who attended a particular weak school themselves or who had family nearby who did, who wouldn’t consider the better school that was available because the other school ‘was good enough for x and is good enough for us’. Parents sometimes limit the opportunities available to their children, due to all kinds of personal prejudices and concerns.

As others have said, yr6 is a time kids are ready for new things. Even those moving into schools with lots of kids they know will usually branch out a bit and meet new people..land that’s a good thing. I worry about kids who are unable to branch out at 11 but lack confidence to meet new people. Lots find the idea of starting a new school without any friends or without many a bit daunting…. But there’s nothing wrong with a bit daunting and a bit of a challenge….that’s the thing isn’t it…..do we embrace these things which will be good for us, or shy away from a little brief difficulty?

What is right for primary for your family, might not be right or possible for most of the other families at that primary. And that’s fine.

Yes, do your homework and check the admissions to secondary won’t be hindered by primary attended. And then do what’s best for you. And I’m sure you wouldn’t, but just keep quiet about your later plans until it really becomes a big topic of conversation, and realise it doesn’t always go down well with people when they know you’re choosing something different to them.

I'd choose the primary you like & park thoughts of secondary until later in Yr5. They are different people by Yr6. You may change your mind. They may be desperate to stay with mates or desperate to make a fresh start away from primary mates and lots in the middle. High schools are used to kids coming from all over, esp faith schools.
BUT
Just be careful re admissions criteria & feeder RC primaries tho.
In our area listed RC feeder primaries get priority. I choose multi faith school so although baptised, they were a lower category for RC high.
As it was they opted for non faith school as bigger, more diverse and better sports

our kids have gone from the less popular nursery to infants (so knew maybe 1 or 2 kids as opposed to the others who know over 20).

and after we moved our youngest 3 moved on from infant to a completely different junior school to the rest of their class.
my youngest is going to y3 in Sept and will know precisely 1 child in his whole year (she is gonna be in his class thankfully as they are friends).

After that they are once again going into a high school while most of their friends are going to a different one.
a lot of the kids from their old infant school go there too so they will be reunited with some old classmates, but it's a really big school so there will be a lot of new faces too.

so far so good, they've all coped well and made friends at every stage.
I would chose the lovely primary. so much will happen until secondary.

one of mine had a brilliant friendship group for 7 years (reception to y6) as he did go to the same junior as his friends before we moved.
cue high school - he started making new friends which the others resented. by the end of y7 3 friends had in-year transfers to a different high school and the other 2 fell out with each other so it was all over.

don't plan too far ahead. you might have to move in 3 years...who knows?
pick whatever makes you happy right now

Hi, I know this is am old thread although I could of wrote this myself about my situation at the moment. Which school did you end up choosing? I love the local primary school the most but don't have him to go to secondary school by himself..