Advice please - private schools in general and specific Suffolk schools

[ZebraF]

We have just started considering options for DC starting school, and my parents have offered to contribute towards school fees so we are now in a position to afford this. We have no previous experience of the private school system.
Our closest schools are Finborough and Old Buckenham Hall. I've started doing a bit of research and now understand that Finborough is an all-through school and very sporty with a few boarders but mainly day pupils, whereas Old Buckenham Hall is a traditional prep with good results in entrance tests to senior schools, good music as well as sport, and has boarders from age 7 upwards. Both have "excellent in all areas" recent Isi reports.
Does anyone have experience of these schools?
My main questions are: is it likely to upset DC being a day pupil in a school where a significant number are boarders?
I don't want DC staying at same school until 18 - is an all-through school a disadvantage for a child likely to be taking entrance tests for senior schools?
Longer school days and weekend school commitments at a boarding school - is there enough time for other hobbies and family activities outside of school or is everything expected to be done at school?
Thanks in advance for your help

Two completely different schools. Like comparing apples and pairs.
Finborough is a more low key type school. Huge rugby focus. For locals by locals.
OBH is a traditional boarding prep school well versed in getting its pupils places at top boarding schools all over the country. Polar opposite schools. Also Fram prep. Barnadiston prep. South Lee. Culford. Lots of Suffolk schools to look up. Try the good schools guide for more choice.

Thank you - that sums up what I thought from my initial visits and research. I'm not sure either of those are completely right for us! I've looked into other schools too but distance is a factor, as we both work and DH doesn't drive so those two are the only practical options until DC is old enough to go on school bus. I think the problem is that neither school delivers exactly what I'd like - I'm not sure Finborough is academic enough but OBH is possibly too traditional in its boarding school structure and I worry that we might not fit in.
State is still an option too but I wanted to explore private as it seemed a great opportunity. But it has to be the right school above all.

I have friends with children at Southlee school in Bury who are very happy with the school. It takes up to 13 but about 50% leave at 11 to go to other schools.
My son went to a primary near Bury and now goes to Ipswich school which has the best GCSE/A level results in suffolk. He gets the bus from Elmswell.

We did the traditional boarding prep route from yr 2 DS2 went first, he'd didn't go to nursery/school till yr 1 then it was a minuscule village school in special measures I don't think he learnt a lot frankly. Bur other friends had done similar and took the view the prep would sort everything out which I guess it did.
The advantage of waiting till yr 2 is that you then have an idea of what sort if school you would like you're DC's to go too and also if you can afford it!!
BY yr 2 we knew that we wanted DS2 to go to a super secretive independent school (rather than a super selective grammar) that started at 13 so he would have to be in a prep school that prepared him for this. Many preps in a our area were known as "crammers for the grammars" and this was not a route that we wanted to go down. Check that the preps schools you are looking at are sending children to schools that are in you radar and also in your price range. I dot know Old Buckenham Hall but from its website it appears to be sending its pupils to some of biggest name senior boarding school in the UK is this what you want for your DC's its very difficult to try and have an alternative plan, this is what the school knows and understand the whole curriculum/ethos will be geared up for this.
With regard to fitting in I guess on one hand we fitted in perfectly but on the other we didn't but it made no difference there were all sorts at his prep.
Finally longer school days and weekend school does eat into your family life for example you cant go away for the weekend if they have to go to school on Saturday although its likely the school will have regular exeats. With regard ti hobbies boarding preps usually provide those for both day children and boarders. My DS2 who boarded nearly all his school life would tell you that when it comes to boarding you don't want to be in the minority; a boarder in a predominately day school or a day child in a predominately boarding school.

Have a look at the Royal Hospital School for later. Pretty evenly split these days for boarding and day. Fantastic facilities. If you like it, maybe ask them which preps the Suffolk kids tend to come in from.

How near are you to the Essex border, Littlegarth is definitely worth a look.One of the differences between Finbourough and most of the other schools mentioned is that it is not a charitable trust , there is no board of trustees and it is run by the Family company largely. We looked carefully at it for one of ours but just felt a little uncomfortable with it.

School has to be near stowmarket, because my DH doesn't drive and I work in Stowmarket so until DC is old enough to get a school bus we have to be fairly close to my work. Apart from OBH, the schools in this area aren't impressing me much tbh. I was state grammar school educated and eventually I think we'll relocate to either Colchester or Norwich, which is why I want to make sure our chosen school won't disadvantage DC for selective schools in future. I'm aware of some lovely schools nearby but most are just too far away for our current circumstances. I

I have family at Finborough and know some teaching staff.
They seem to love it.
It's all through which wouldn't do it for me as I think variety is key and I don't think it's very selective but sport is great.

Hi Op,

I came into this forum and saw your post as I live in Stowmarket and we are going to send our DD to Finborough next year (age 2). We are really happy with the nursery and the School. I also got the impression that the children are really well settled and content due to spending time with some of the children on a one to one basis.
The school has a good balance of being academic enough and sporty. I'm also very impressed having followed their Facebook page about what they teach, it's very diverse and they have people visiting the school to discuss a range of topics, plus it's not an elitist school as myself and DP just work for large companies and have regular jobs. I don't think we would fit in necessarily with lots of wealthy families as I've had friends who struggled with this having sent their children to very traditional well regarded independent schools, so I'm just drawing conclusions from their experiences. Anyway, that's my impression so we are excited for her to start next year.

Thank you, LovingSummer - it's great to hear someone who has personal experience of Finborough. My DC is also 2 so they might be classmates in future if we go there too! We're at a brilliant day nursery at the moment, so I'm in no hurry to think about changing to school nursery just yet as I need year-round childcare for as long as possible! I've only been into the school once (to enquire about open days etc) and have just met one member of teaching staff so far, so I am planning to go back for a proper tour in the autumn term with DH to really get a feel for the whole school and meet some pupils.

@ZebraF I know such a small world 😊I would visit the schools that appeal and see what you think as it's hard to get a feeling of a school via the Internet and research alone.

From what I know and been told the (very) local state schools are not great hence going to a independent school. I have teacher friends who highly recommend Finborough as well. It's a relatively new school I think only around 20 years or so and maybe can't compete with the more established independent schools locally, but on the whole, I actually like it because it doesn't have that austere feeling when you visit and instead is a warm, friendly and sociable school.

I'm looking for a school that can help my child flourish, challenge her academically but also develop a child's emotional intelligence which I think this school can do. I just think it comes down to what school is right for your child and only you know. Definitely worth having a look at all the options out there. Good luck and hope you find a school you are happy with x

Thank you - yes, definitely need to get to know schools in person and like you we also feel that state schools in the area probably aren't going to meet out expectations. Finborough's website is less informative than some others but maybe the other schools are just spending lots of their funds on marketing!

@ZebraF be interesting to hear how you get on when you've visited the schools you like. My little girl is 1 in August this year, so you're a bit ahead of me, but she'll start in the nursery next year 3 days a week as the cost is not much different from current childcare costs at another nursery locally.
Oh FYI - Finborough have a fete this Saturday I think from 2pm that we may try to pop along to if we have time x

I don't know the schools however DDs private school didn't prepare them for the 11+ at all. The expectation was that they would stay in the school right through 6th form. Kind of makes sense since they don't really want the brightest DC leaving to go to grammar - it's not in their interest.

Probably worth asking how many pass the 11+ when you go for your interview?

I would go for the more academic one that prepares them for other schools at 11+ to give them the best start in life and then by 11 you might well have moved or have different plans so it will keep more options open. I would tend to go by which destination do children go on to at 11 (or 13+ in the case of my sons). I don't know Suffolk however.

Ours were at day private schools where eveyrone was a day pupil (we are in outer London which has a bit more choice) but lots of boarding schools these days have a lot of day pupils and I am sure it works out fine.

My daughters stayed at their schools (Haberdashers and North London Collegiate) right through to 18 and it was not a problem as at 11+ there were loads more children coming in from lots of other schools at that state and in a sense a different school in many ways although same site etc, so they didn't feel bored from being at the "same" school right through. Also if your child were bored like that they could always move somewhere else for the sixth form.

Neither of these schools will prepare them for 11+ as one is a traditional prep where most will take common entrance at 13 and move on to schools such as Oundle, Uppingham, Rugby and Greshams.The other is a non selective private school which goes through to 18.

OP I would look at state options until 8 and then think about the bus to Ipswich Prep or South Lee

Our DD went to South Lee in Bury and then moved to Ipswich High. Many of her friends went to OBH when they were 8 to board - it is very traditional and all the aspirational parents sent their boys to OBH as preparation for the smarter Public schools.

Some of DDs friends went to Finborough at 13 and have really enjoyed it. They tended to be the artier, less sporty, more local-style girls who didn't want to live a long way from home.

They really are very different types of schools. You don't say if your children are DS or DD, or what ages they are, as this could make a difference in your choices.

DD is rising 3 and at a great day nursery, so we are looking at Reception class options. I'm going to look further afield and visit South Lee. I had wanted to avoid driving too far from my work but at least it is just off a14 and they have early care options so I could still be at work in time and the school ethos looks like a good fit for us.

I went to independant from year 7
If you can't find a private school that fits why not find a good small state primary then go independent for high school?

Mine was all day schools so I can't help but my brother boarded cause the school was too far for daily travel he came home at weekends. That school I think was a good split of day & boarders.

My friend works at a prep school in Bristol I could ask if she knows what Suffolk schools are like or for any tips if you like

@ZebraF did you settle on a school in the end? The reason I ask is we've decided on Finborough.

No, not yet. We have visits booked this term to a few schools. My husband ended up working overseas a lot before Christmas and also had a close family bereavement so there wasn't time to look at schools. We're happy with current day nursery so not in a hurry.

Came to have a look and see if anyone was talking about the Royal Hospital School. We're in Stowmarket and there is a minibus going through to it - though the day looks incredibly long so might look at flexiboarding to start. DD1 is Y5 at the moment so a little older than yours. Currently she's doing well at state school so can't advise on pre-prep.

Pretty much happy with that school after our look around - DD1 loved the art department and the food and we liked the split between academic encouragement and the other activities available. If the pastoral care is halfway as advertised that would be great too.

@elfycat you cannot go wrong with RHS. Happiest years of my life ;)

Agreed - can't recommend RHS highly enough! Great facilities and opportunities, excellent pastoral care, good academic standards but not a hot-house. And yes, it is a long day, but they get used to it pretty quickly - and the good thing is that, for Y7 and 8 at least, they get home having done their prep and activities.

Good evening all,

I am the Headmaster at Old Buckenham Hall. A colleague shared this discussion with me so I thought I might be able to offer some advice - I hope you do not mind! As a parent myself, I know that these decisions are not easy. All the schools referenced are very good and in many ways decisions are made on what type of school you are looking for. When you visit, you will also get a feel for the school - like buying a house, it will feel right for you and your children or not. My suggestion is to visit us. We do not give a hard sell but you will be assured of a warm welcome and honest answers to any questions that you may have. We are also far more progressive than some comments may suggest. Good luck with the decision making.