Tell me about your school - I can't find what i'm looking for.

[TheodoresMummy]

I would like to send my DS to a (primary) school which sounds close to this :

• respects and nurtures the individual

• has a very broad curriculum

• does not have a uniform (preferably)

• teachers and pupils call eachother by first names

• very 'inclusive' (regarding special needs)

Have been looking at Steiner, but not sure about it 100%. Have found a few democratic/human scale ones, but feel I may be limiting DS to a lifetime of hippy - eco warrior education (which he will get from me anyway ).

If anyone can enlighten me as to any other options I would be really grateful.

I have been quite interested to read some of the recent threads on private ed - I kind of assumed that private schools were academic and strict (they are around here), but some of the posts made their schools sounds quite different to that.

3.5 is very, very young! I do urge you to go and have a proper look at your nearest primary school. use your own judgeement, not anybody elses. And remember that finding an absolutely prefect school that is an hours journey from ewhere you live means that it will be very difficult for your ds to have an active social life outside school and making friends and meeting a aide range of other people is one of the most important aspects of primary school. We live in the depths of the country and dc's school is a 10 minute drive away. Even that distance causes problems. Remember that your ds will be at the school you choose til he is 11 and going to other people's houses and the swimming pool and the park on his own. This didn't cross my mind when we moved when dd was 5, but now it's a bit of an issue - I have to driver her everywhere, while her friends in the town just walk round to their friends houses. Sorry, rant over!

You're not ranting Katelyle, that's a really important aspect . I think that we would move to the area if the commute was an hour. The Steiner Kindergarten we looked at is about half an hour away and I would drive to that, but not much further.

I think I will go to see 2 of the local primaries (I would love not to have to pay fees ). I just can't imagine him going full time so young. It doesn't fit in with my general 'philsophy' , IYSWIM. I suppose I will just have to find a very diplomatic way of telling them what I would like for DS and see how much of that they feel they can provide. They're not going to be able to be very flexible tho are they ? But at least I will have asked.

I know what you mean - I would have loved my children to do half days for at least the first couple of years. My ds wen to school when he was 4.7 and did half days until after Christmas. For the first few weeks I collected him at 12 just before lunch. Then he asked if he could stay and have lunch with all his new friends so I collected him after lunch for a week or so. Then he asked if he could stay for playtime with all his new friends so I collected him after playtime for a week or so. Then he asked.... and after Christmas he went full time. What I did with both of mine (on the advice of the teacher) was to keep them off the occasional Friday all through the first year.
What sort of flexibility do you want - and are you sure you couldn't negociate at least some of it?

How nice that he went full time at his own request tho .

Mornings (maybe staying for lunch) for the whole of primary school would be perfect.

A friend of mine sent her daughter to the larger of the primaries I will look into. She kept her home on a Friday to do a bit of Home Ed. But her DD soon realised she was different to the others and wanted to go on the friday too, so didn't work although the school were prepared to be flexible .

The private school that mine do ticks all the boxes, except the uniform and first names thing.

It is quite formal, but that does not stop it being exceptionally warm and supportive. It engendered as old style, mutually respectful, community.

They have been totlaly supportive of the situation with dh..... telling us that the kids can be wothdrawn from classes if we ever need time together, they have also offeren us the use of the boarding house 'In case of emergency'. The head's comment was 'Just pick up the phone and we will do the rest'

They are also very inclusive of SN and damed good with them too. DS has dyspraxia, and the SENCO came over and spnet 10 minutes with me in DDs open evening!

mrspink - I reckon we're at the same school! Trying to work out who you are - any clues? I have DD3 there - she loves it too.

would look into MOntessori schools there are a few whoch go up to 18, trained as a montessori teacher and loved the whole ethos of it

MB - sounds very interesting. Would you say which school this is ? Do they accomodate part timers in the primary years ?

The name thing bugs me, although it's hardly unusual .

I could compromise on the uniform.

I am quickly realising just how important the part time issue is for me tho...

I keep on thinking of things that I want to add to this thread - and I'm supposed to be doing a mega housework blitz pre mother in law! I think it's very important to remember that you are choosing a school for the 11 year old your ds will become as well as the 3.5 year old he is now. He'll be a whole different person next year, never mind in 8 years time. Another thing to remember is that even full time isn't actually a very long day. It is when you're 4, but isn't when you're 7 - or even 6. Do you know why part-time is so important to you, or is it an instinctive thing? Absolutely fine if it is, of course, but it'a bit more difficult to work out compromises!

Well, it's mostly instinctive I think.

Although I can just imagine the morning rush and the few hours after school (when tired and grumpy - and needing feeding, bathing) not leaving much to be desired about the working week. And then homework on top ? No thank you...

I want him to begin to have some independence (has already at nursery I guess), but think it's all too rushed. I think spending a larger amount of time within his family than school for a few more years will be better for him emotionally...

Was under the impression that Montessori (although child led) is quite restrictive ?

Am going to have a quick look online for something more detailed. Anyone got any info or pointers tho ?

Mrspink - yours is Montessori isn't it ? Please come back when you have a moment and tell me more.... It sounds fabulous !!

Theodoresmummy - why not do as quite a few have suggested and look at your smaller primary schools locally and then not send him until he is actually 5 (i think you can do this) Think back 18 months and see how much he's developed since then. They really do come into their own when they're at school and IIRC reception year is quite often play and fun based anyway.

HSE

It's very unlikely that you'll have to deal with homework in the early years in a state school. And the emphasis should be on play for at least the first year and a half. A lot of private schools do put a lot on emphasis on homework and academic acheievement because a lot of parents think it's a good idea, so ask lots and lots of questions. I'm a SAHM and I've always found that there's plenty of time after school for family time. Bed times get later as they get older, and school finishes at about 3.15 in almost all cases. Actually, the more `I think about it, my children's school ticks a lot of your boxes, and as I said it it a very average state school. It is also huge - 420 children, so you'll probably find even more of what you want at a smaller school. Can't help with the uniform though - I think everywhere does uniform!

They do accomodate part times since I know of at least one child who attends the school part time, and part time in a specialist SN school.

Too far away from you.

The company is the Church Schools Trust, they may have a school in your area

Car 25, the school is in BLindley Heath, it is about to divide into 2 sites, 6-16s will be in East Grinstead and 2-6s will stay in Blindley Heath.

Theodores Mummy if you cat me I'll email you the details.

I will set it up

If you fancy a move to Suffolk have a look have a look at Summerhill School, Suffolk. A very different approach!
Not my idea of a great school but may be the sort of setting you are looking for.

Ooh have been trawling t'internet for montessori schools and think I have found yours Mrs pink. Does it begin with a 'T' ?

If so, I have already emailed for a prospectus so don't need to CAT you just yet .

Thanks for your help so far ladies. Keep the posts coming if you think of anything else .

Car25 - are you thinking of this school too ? It does sound fantastic. Lucky you living close to it.

Yes, I have seen this school and was very interested on the one hand. But it is predominantly boarding. And I think it would be too liberal, even for me .

Car 25 if you would like a chat about the school, its positives and the few negs let me know and i will happily do so. We will be moving to H H and will still be sending dd2 to blindley heath, people travel from as far afield as oxted, tonbridge, balcombe and redhill. so they are obviously doing something right!

Theodores MUmmy - Yes Tr ending in L, happy to chat if and when necessary! warts and all opinions given! I should get some money off for these referals! I wish!