Inverted snobbery

[DaisyRaine90]

So sick of my family etc. Judging me for moving my child to an independent.

Why would I not send my child to the best I can afford?

Is it jealousy or inverted snobbery??

Literally nobody but DP thinks this is a good decision and I can’t make sense of it.

Has anyone else experienced this??

[LondonMum8]

'No, that's why when people do pay, it's generally because they think it's superior."

That's an unreasonable opinion. For example, having done a ton of research, we moved our DC from an outstanding state to a private school which is objectively far superior (including academically) and our DC completely agrees.

It's actually sensible to assume most people who cough up a lot of money on private do that for very good reasons.

[roundaboutthetown]

It's actually sensible to assume most people who cough up a lot of money on private do that for what they think are for very good reasons. We don't all have the same aspirations, interests and hopes for our lives, we don't all want to achieve the same goals in the same ways, we all have different priorities. There is always subjectivity in any decision made. One person isn't 100% wrong and the other 100% right if they disagree - they have different opinions. There are numerous ways to provide a child with a good education and happy childhood.

[LondonMum8]

And who is supposed to know better than well informed parents? Tov. Jeremy Corbyn presumably?

[Dapplegrey2]

No, that's why when people do pay, it's generally because they think it's superior. Not the same thing.
Broken - do you think private schools up and down the country are all a con trick?
They must be pretty good con artists in that case!

[roundaboutthetown]

Nope, well informed parents ought to have a better idea than others, but they do sometimes inflict appalling choices on their offspring, LondonMum. Various relatives and friends of mine are cases in point. Parents can get quite deranged when it comes to school or alternative educational choices. You would think it was life or death.

[roundaboutthetown]

As with anything, it's all about what people think. It's silly to argue otherwise. I think a luxury car is a pathetic waste of money. That doesn't stop someone else thinking it is the most beautiful and wonderfully engineered item they have ever had the joy to purchase. Something is worth what you are willing to pay for it, no more, no less - it's all in the eye of the beholder, with those thinking it's a pathetic waste of money entitled not to buy and to think what they like about it, and those who get pleasure from it entitled to think it's worth all the money spent.

[TheLuminaries]

To be fair, OP, for someone who resents being judged, you sound wildly judgy of your families' choices. It does seem pretty equal on the members of your family judging each other front.

If you think it is poor form to criticise other peoples parental choices, why not lead by example and refrain from doing it yourself? At the moment it sounds like you have zero moral high ground on this one.

[LondonMum8]

I consider this a flawed analogy roundaboutthetown. If I want to get from A to B effectively without breaking down, I will probably choose the most reliable car (which might not be provided for "free" in exchange for my taxes by the government) rather than a Bentley.

Similarly, if I want my DC to achieve the highest standard of education possible, I will choose a school which evidently delivers such results - especially in case my DC is already at a "free" state school and I can see that the result of interest is quite unlikely to be achieved.

[roundaboutthetown]

I do not consider it a flawed analogy, LondonMum. What is one person's high standard of education is another person's exam factory, another person's over privileged bubble, another person's unnecessary frills, another person's symptom of all society's ills, another person's crushing of a free spirit. You have to be in agreement on what life, leisure, work, academic, etc, lessons you want your children to learn and how you wish them to learn them before you can assess what is, for you, the highest standard of education your child can achieve and how you wish them to achieve it. As someone who strongly disagrees that one size fits all, as you clearly do, I'm surprised you are so unwilling and unable to acknowledge that, LondonMum.

[roundaboutthetown]

Ps are you saying Bentleys are unreliable?

[roundaboutthetown]

How about a Ferrari? Or a Jaguar? Or a Rolls Royce? Or a Mercedes? All unable to get from A to B? Or just unnecessarily expensive?

[roundaboutthetown]

And is reliability the only thing you want from your car?

[DaisyRaine90]

I think they’re hypocrites so I guess we are even 😂

Yeah sure everyone judges everyone.

I wrote this a while ago when feeling a bit sensitive but honestly couldn’t give a crap anymore

I’m a Libertarian first and foremost so believe in freedoms > state control. Therefore I can no longer vote Labour and would never vote Conservative.

I did vote Labour in last election but only because I think we should go with the democratic vote for Brexit and not a demand another referendum as the Lib Dem’s wanted to.

Tbh no politics party in this country represents me if We win the lottery me and DP will start our own 😂

[TitusPullo]

Ah yes the OP who starts threads just to brag about her made up lifestyle

[DaisyRaine90]

I guess I don’t approve of theirs (my parents btw) because I had a horrible school experience, was not allowed to take the 11+ even though I wanted to and had inconsistency, other siblings shown special treatment etc.

So yeah, I get to judge my parents.
The ones who bullied me subtly, and those who controlled me and manipulated me for years. (Parents divorced, step parents on both sides).

[LondonMum8]

Yeah, don't want a Ferrari since that's prone to crashes, carjacking, robbery etc.:D I guess an equivalent of that is a non-selective name-in-at-birth school for the super-privileged. :)

[roundaboutthetown]

Why non-selective? Are you saying Ferraris are for people with more money than sense?

[Kokeshi123]

This thread is nuts. The OP obviously has a very odd family, and also appears to have some hang-ups related to their weird behavior towards her as a child. The discussion has then been taken up by a handful of people who have chosen to spend colossal sums of money on the kind of ultra-super-selective central-London private prep schools that are attended by a minuscule fraction of primary-aged children in the country.

It's like the mad leading the mad.

Meanwhile, the rest of us normal people are just shaking our heads.

[DaisyRaine90]

The name in at birth stuff is bull

Most schools won’t let you apply until 1-2 years before

It goes more on family reputation and the size of school donation than on how long your on the list 🙄----

[DaisyRaine90]

Yeah I had a fucked up messed up childhood.

They fuck you up your Mum and Dad and all that 🙄

I’m sure my kids will end up resenting me too 😂