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Original poster

DS failed nearly all his GCSEs - advice needed!

55 replies

OhFuckWhatNext · 25/08/2017 18:53

I've name changed for this as I'm a regular poster and feeling quite sensitive right now. I'm hoping some teachers or posters with similar experiences will come along and offer me some advice.

DS unfortunately did really badly in his GCSEs. 2's in maths and English, Fs and Us in everything else, 1 BTEC level 2 pass.

I wasn't expecting him to shine, he's not had a great time at secondary school, been unlucky with teachers, etc. He's also not really put much effort in. However I was expecting maybe Ds and Es.

I've spoke to the sixth form college who were very reassuring and have said to come along on enrolment day
with him and they'll go through all the options. However I'm really worried about him. He's a lovely boy, but his self esteem is pretty low and he's not got much confidence outside of his friendship group.

I just want to do what I am for him and help him find his way.

OP posts:
Gingernaut · 25/08/2017 18:58

Sometimes, for some students, getting out and going to college where people are treated more as adults is more suited to how they approach work.

If he can retake English and Maths and, perhaps look for more skills based, practical, vocational courses, he may be more likely to stick at it.

Sorry, no help.

Can you look online for a local Connexions or similar?

sprinklesofweirdness · 25/08/2017 18:59

Why doesn't he choose a college and do a BTEC or City & Guilds and he will then be able to redo his maths and English, DD done that and got a 4 in her English, when last year it was either an E or F

lemonzest123 · 25/08/2017 19:02

No direct advice but my brother failed all his GCSEs as is very dyspraxic, went to college and now earns £45k p at a job he loves with heaps of holiday...it doesn't mean he can't shine in the future x

Lauralou69 · 25/08/2017 19:03

Reassure him, tell him he's more than exam results and that you believe he can do well. Perhaps give examples of geniuses who did badly in school, Einstein etc. Encourage him to retake English and Maths as those are fairly non negotiable in the modern world now. Poor lad, there's so much pressure nowadays.

Finola1step · 25/08/2017 19:03

I think there are three issues to think about. First one, what is your ds interested in and can this lead to a vocational qualification, C&G etc? Cars, sports, barbering, travel and tourism - what is he interested in?

Issue 2 is the Maths and English. He will need to continue. It may be worth going in to Functional skills if possible rather than resits.

Issue 3 is that he may find a wider range of more suitable courses at your local FE college rather than the school's 6th form.

There will be something out there for him but the key thing is to talk it through at enrolement. All is not lost.

RaininSummer · 25/08/2017 19:11

Would he be interested in an apprenticeship? If so he would redo maths and english probably as functional skills. Look at college but dont forget about private training providers as they often have much smaller classes which may help.

Original poster
OhFuckWhatNext · 25/08/2017 23:24

Thank you for all the constructive and helpful advice. I know it'll be ok eventually, it's just hard right now and keep blaming myself, wondering is there was more I should have done, etc.

I've told him how much I love him and believe in him, we'll go along to the enrolment session and see what they suggest. Our 6th form college does offer some BTEC courses, but there's also another college which is much more vocational. He's less keen to go there as wants to do where his mates are going, but will try try and get him to be a bit more open minded.

OP posts:
CanIBuffalo · 25/08/2017 23:34

We've had disappointments here too, because of laziness in our case. The careers officer we spoke to for over an hour today was really helpful. Do you have a similar service?
I totally understand the self blame thing. I'd love someone to sit me down and explain it but it's not going to happen so best to move on.
If it's any comfort to you at all, you sound as though you've dealt with it a lot more sympathetically than me so well done for that SmileFlowers

Original poster
OhFuckWhatNext · 26/08/2017 12:01

Buffalo it's so hard isn't it? I'm really frustrated as he doesn't seem to get that this is his future and the choices he makes now will impact the life he has going forward. I guess we have the advantage of hindsight though, it's not easy being 16.

He's set on doing a BTEC and maths and English at the 6th form college as this is where all his friends are going (Hmm) so we'll go along to the enrolment and see what they say. I think he should look at the other college where we live that has much more vocational courses but he's adamant he doesn't want to.

I hope things work out for your DS Flowersand Gin!

OP posts:
MadisonAvenue · 26/08/2017 12:24

I feel like I'm banging my head against a wall with my son. He sat his maths GCSE in Yr10 and got a D. In Yr11 he got an E. He's spent the last year doing a vocational college course (which he loves and is about to start his second year) but he's had to do maths again.

Anyway...he got his result this week and he's regressed again and got a 2, so he now has another year of maths GCSE ahead of him.

cricketballs · 26/08/2017 12:38

with 2's in Maths and English its very doubtful he will be accepted onto a Level 3 BTEC so you did need to research what level 2 courses they offer

Original poster
OhFuckWhatNext · 26/08/2017 13:24

Cricket
I know he won't be accepted into a level 3 course. Before he even got his results I'd accepted he would probably need to do a level 2 and retake either maths and English. My worry now is that he won't even be able to do a level 2 course, so what then?
Madison
It's so frustrating isn't it? I have to say though, I don't get why maths is so important? I know plenty of v successful adults - plumbers, hairdressers, decorators, graphic designers who failed maths and have managed perfectly well without it.

OP posts:
Moussemoose · 26/08/2017 13:36

No way should he do a level 2 course.
You need to realistically think will he get 4s in maths and English this year at college? He will have less time doing maths and English and new teachers.

I would recommend he does a level 1 so he can focus on his maths and English. If he does a level 2 course but fails to progress in maths and English then where does he go? This is a big deal. He could end up stranded with a L2 qual a 4 in English and a 2 in maths and no where to go next.

You need to accept a L1 course at college might be the best option. He might not want to do this but what he wants is not the point. The local FE college is probably more experienced with his kind of learning needs. He needs to grow up and look to his future.

This is really tough, but it will be even tougher next year if he doesn't progress in maths English.

I spend a good portion of August and September advising crying parents and sullen teenagers. My key advice, be realistic about progression and make those tough decisions now.

Original poster
OhFuckWhatNext · 26/08/2017 13:38

Thanks Moose. I'm pretty sure the college doesn't offer level 1 course though.

OP posts:
Original poster
OhFuckWhatNext · 26/08/2017 13:40

And it's ok to say 'he may not want to do it but he may have to'. But how do you go about making a 5'10 16 year old do something they don't want to do?

My real fear is he'll just end up refusing to go and then what happens?

OP posts:
MaisyPops · 26/08/2017 13:41

I would aim to do a level 2 course post-16 & resit maths and english if possible.

Level 1 is GCSE grade d-g (roughly) but you might find that some colleges dont offer them.

Really, he needs to be looking at something vocational like city and guilds or an NVQ.

MaisyPops · 26/08/2017 13:43

My real fear is he'll just end up refusing to go and then what happens?
He HAS to be in education or training to 18. He doesnt have a choice. I think this is what moose means.

Equally, with his results he is at the mercy of the college in terms of what they'll be willing to have him on.

Moussemoose · 26/08/2017 13:45

A local college (within an hours journey) should offer Entry or Level 1 provision. Contact Connexion's or another careers advice service find out what all his options are.
Colleges don't always see students they see money you need to make sure your son has a clear progression path based on realistic expectations and not just a place at college with his mates.

All too often this can be a wasted year. Resit pass rates are not good - less than 30% - this is a big wake up call and he needs to listen.

I'm not saying I agree with the system - far from it - I'm just trying to help you navigate the crap so you don't find yourself posting again next year.

Original poster
OhFuckWhatNext · 26/08/2017 13:46

Thanks Maisy I just need it to be next week so I can get him to the colleges and look at the options. This is all going round in my head and I'm incredibly stressed. I'm a single Mum, all my friends are away or busy this weekend, so feeling incredibly low.

DS on the other hand is chilling out on the PS4 Hmm

OP posts:
Moussemoose · 26/08/2017 13:48

OhFuckWhatNext

And it's ok to say 'he may not want to do it but he may have to'. But how do you go about making a 5'10 16 year old do something they don't want to do

It's hard, but the government has abandoned low attaining students you have to help him fight for what he needs.

Your 16 gets money from where? If it is from you make it conditional on attending college.

hellokittymania · 26/08/2017 13:52

Hi, no advice as I am in a similar situation to your son but at University and having to look for other options as well at the moment. Not sure if my university will let me stay as I don't know how my recent essays went, but I just wanted to tell you to reassure your son and tell him that it's not the end of the world if he gets failing grades. I have disabilities and really struggle in education. I speak quite a number of languages, including difficult Asian languages like a Vietnamese and Mandarin though, and run my own organization. I often feel discouraged though because I don't have a university degree. So I know the feeling when you don't do well.

GnomeDePlume · 26/08/2017 17:53

A couple of years ago my DS had poor GCSE results though thankfully had passed his maths. Got onto a level 2 engineering course. Resat his English and failed again. Resat at the end of the year and just failed again but passed the BTEC course. Was accepted onto the level 3 course on condition that he took his English again. He has finally passed. It took 4 goes but he has got there.

The moral of this story is that for your DS it isn't all lost.

GreenTulips · 26/08/2017 17:59

Unfortunately 74% of jobs require a pass in maths and English - I know many people retaking these as adults because they can't apply for jobs without them

It's all very well knowing X did well without a pass - but today's job market is different

Original poster
OhFuckWhatNext · 26/08/2017 19:00

Gnome thank you, there's hope then! Well done to your DS.

OP posts:
Mightybanhammer · 26/08/2017 19:09

Oh God that is beyond awful OP, I'm so sorry. He's clearly not academic-In some subjects even 18% was a pass apparently.Sad

Maybe look at getting him interested in a trade?

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