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Original poster

ADVICE PLEASE! My DD misses this years school start by one day - can I do anything about it?

60 replies

rorytiger · 12/03/2007 12:43

Hello there,
My DD with be 4 on september 2nd so I (foolishly) thought she's be starting school this year. Having rang our local council to check it seems the school start cut off day is august 31st therefore she will not be able to start school until september 2008!!!!! (Aparently they no longer do a secondry intake at easter its just sept to sept.) It there anything I can do about this or are the rules set in stone? My dd is ready for school now let alone in over a years time. I just will feel very sorry for her when all her friends leave nursery and she will be the only one nor going . This is the first time I've had to deal with anything schooly so not sure what I should do next - any advice would be great. Thanks!

OP posts:
Original poster
rorytiger · 12/03/2007 13:16

Thanks for all the advice. Not trying to get rid of her honestly! She's such a bright (and bossy!) thing - loves to be the centre of attention IYSWIM. Just hope she won't find everything to easy (therefore boring) by the time she starts.

OP posts:
Hassled · 12/03/2007 13:18

It's much better to be an Autumn born (so older in the school year) child than Summer born - there is a marked difference in academic attainment which apparently can be seen all the way up to GCSEs. The older kids may have less than challenging extra year in pre-school but the late-Summer born kids suffer in terms of the academic stuff and, more importantly, with less developed social skills. Thus speaks a bitter mum of 4 summer born children!

morningpaper · 12/03/2007 13:20

rorytiger - mine is October and most of her friends started this year. At first I was gutted and thought she was really "ready" but now I am SO glad to have had her at home for another year. It's been a really stress-free time at home and she has continued to play and learn and just live at her own pace. Some of her friends have found starting school VERY hard - physically exhausting, one having terrible headaches and nightmares, ALL seem to be very tired, and the girls have changed into very odd MTV creatures with American accents and constant stress about who is friends with who. AND their mums are constantly worrying about picking up and dropping off, what to do during holidays, etc. DD can now read and write quite a lot but school is mainly about socialising and being ahead is much better than being behind. I'm SO glad I've had this 'extra' year at home with her, and been able to have a stress-free chilled out time just playing and doing very little. Enjoy your extra year at home - she'll be at school for a LOOOONG time and at home for such a short time. Enjoy it.

hippipotami · 12/03/2007 13:21

I agree with all that has been said. My ds was a late-August baby and started school barely having turned 4. It was and still is (he is 7 now) a real disadvantage.

He is in class with children who will turn 9 one week after he turns 8! He struggles with maturity, and acadamically he is way behind most of the ones who are nearly 9.

Keep your dd in nursery, and spend a quality year with her. There is so much you can do in this year, once they are at school you are truly limited.

Ceolas · 12/03/2007 13:22

This time next year you will see a big difference. My DD is the 3rd oldest in her class. We're in Scotland so have the option of keeping them at nursery til 5. I'm so glad now that I did.

She would have coped with the academic side of things at 4, but at 5 she was just so much more ready and confident starting school.

SparklePrincess · 12/03/2007 13:22

Your dd is very lucky & will no doubt fly through school. Far better to be the eldest than the youngest. Enjoy this last precious year you have together.

pooka · 12/03/2007 13:23

My ds was due on the 3rd September and to be honest I was incredibly relieved when we got past 31st August. I didn't want him to be the youngest. DD is born in JUly and while I think she may be ready for school earlier than Jan 08, I am still glad that she isn't starting until then. Not least because I really don't know how I'll cope with being on the treadmill of school runs and everyday schooling committments.

Clary · 12/03/2007 13:27

yes, to echo others, hassled is right, academic achievement is much better in children who are old in their year.

Morningpaper yr post made me at the girls worrying about who's pals with whom...

its' true, full time at school is a big step, and not like a full day at daycare at all.

Anchovy · 12/03/2007 13:27

Don't forget you are looking at it in isolation - your DD may not be the only child with a birthday at that time.

My DS has an October birthday and was the oldest child in his nursery class. However, there are 4 children in his Reception class with September birthdays - and 2 more children with birthdays before his in October. So over a third of the class have birthdays before mid-October.

Plus his best mate, who is absolutely as bright as a button has a birthday in July and is a whole 9 months younger than him.

I honestly wouldn't worry too much about it.

Troutpout · 12/03/2007 13:29

She's lucky rorytiger...it's a definite advantage.My ds was just 4 and nowhere near ready for school...he spent the first year slowly realising that everyone else was better at everything...dressing himself,socialising,speaking,pencil control
everything
and of course they were...some had nearly a whole year on him.
You might have a tricky year keeping her entertained but when she starts she will probably fly

satine · 12/03/2007 13:32

Sorry, just skimmed but wanted to add my agreement that it's better to send a child who's just 5 than just 4. Full-time school is a lot for a barely-4 year old to cope with, and they will be forever running (quite literally, at play time) to keep up with the older children, who will tend to dominate, purely because of their size and relative maturity.
Personally, I think even 5 is quite little to be taught in a formal fashion, but then I'm naturally a bit of a Steiner type, I guess.

inanidealworld · 12/03/2007 13:33

Hi Rorytiger,
I haven't read the whole thread but my DS was in the same boat last year. He missed Sept 06 by 4 days. My only consolation is that because he is s ready he will not struggle at school as some of the younger ones might.

hana · 12/03/2007 13:36

2 of my children were born early sept and one is in reception this year. She did miss her preschool friends when they all trotted off to school and she was 'left behind' but she made new friends. I would rather she was the oldest in the class.....kids start school too early in the UK, and she would have been ready earlier, but what's the rush? We did things at home etc etc and she's doing fab so far in reception.
See it as an extra year to spend with your dd at home before school starts - I know I really miss my little dd now that she's at school all day......

Furball · 12/03/2007 13:37

I've an August boy and have read loads of threads on July/August children starting school at just 4 etc etc. Quite interesting to find someone on the other side of the coin who has to wait until they are 5. Unfortunately there isn't alot you can do but by the time she does start she will be more than ready. Have you looked into a private school for the year? You will still get the government vouchers towards costs but it may well keep her from getting bored at a normal pre-school.

sophiewd · 12/03/2007 13:41

I had a friend whose daughter missed her intake by 5 minutes. She was born 1ug 31st at 1155pm. really struggled with school. Better to wait another year, more maturer.

miljee · 12/03/2007 13:42

I'd just be repeating everyone else if I were to say OH YOU LUCKY LUCKY THING!

I so so WISH my 2 DSs (both May) were Sept babies! The advantage bestowed upon them CAN stay with them practically for life! It's no accident that something like 75% of Oxbridge entrants are 1st school-term babies. They'll obviously be likely to be the highest achievers. My DS1 got 2s (average) and the odd 2a for his KS1 SATS (non age adjusted). He redid them 'for fun' at school (!) 9 months later which is when he would have taken them had he be born in Sept and lo! Straight 3s. I want to make clear this isn't an issue with me at all- but it illustrates my point! You'll see far more parents agonising about their slow/immature/behind 'young' DCs (esp DSs!) that you'll see parents stressing about the Gifted and Talented stream which is where statistically far more 'older' DCs will be found!

OF course, it doesn't ALWAYS follow- a post like this is always met with 20 people telling us how well their Aug 31st DS has done BUT I so believe they are the exception. It's a maturity and social skills issue. As others have said, DD will be 100% ready for school and her enhanced ability to concentrate and cooperate will see her in good stead for the future. You lucky thing!

miljee · 12/03/2007 13:43

And Sopie, if I'd have been your friend with the 11.55pm Aug 31st baby, I'd've been offering the midwife BRIBES!!

ChocolateTeapot · 12/03/2007 13:52

My DS is a similar age ot your DD, September 12th so will be starting the same time as her. I agree with the others that is is much easier for them to be the oldest in the year and am glad that DS is born when he was.

I do think that next year is going to be a little difficult at first whilst he adapts as he's in the same boat with all his friends going up. I've asked for him to increase his hours at nursery to the level that I feel he will be ready to do in September and have arranged it so that he will have Mondays and Fridays at home so he can enjoy his last year of freedom doing trips & chilling etc.

I'm going to have to get him a badge though that says "I'm not at school today because I am too young to go yet" ! He's very tall for his age and we already get asked this so I think it's going to be worse next year.

The other thing I am doing is not necessarily sending him to the same school as his sister (she will be leaving as he arrives due to my age gap) as I think possibly that he might suit being somewhere where they stretch them a little more than DD's school. That's not me being pushy (I hate the idea of them even having homework at his age) I just think that as he will be one of the oldest and is showing a lot of interest in numbers and letters unlike DD at a similar age, that he might benefit from a slightly different environment.

sunnysideup · 12/03/2007 13:52

totally agree - being the youngest in her year will be a great help to her.

Don't worry about her friends leaving nursery; she will have a new set next year who she will go up with so that's a non-issue for her.

She may be 'ready' but in Sept she will still only be just 4, that's very very young. I think keep her in her nursery sessions and make the most of one more year of pre-school time with her. I wish I'd had that chance with ds.

I think you and she will probably enjoy her being 'top of the class' next year when she does start school.

sunnysideup · 12/03/2007 13:52

oops I mean being the OLDEST in her year, obviously

SJLTM · 12/03/2007 13:53

When i was at school, many years ago, there were twins in different years, one born before midnight, and one after, on the cut off date. Not sure if this would still happen!!

Lambchopandchips · 12/03/2007 19:03

I so echo everyone who has posted along the lines of "make the most of this year". My youngest (of 4) is a mid-Sep birthday and would have been quite ready to start school last year but was too young by 2 weeks. Instead she has been making the most of her last year at nursery school, which has been fantastic in meeting her needs and developing her skills. She has also become close friends with some children who will be going to the same school this September.

Her extended nursery education has meant that she has benefited from a lot of individual attention which simply would not have been possible in a reception class of up to 30. What's more, we have received the maximum subsidy towards the nursery fees as she does not reach statutory school age until after Aug. 31 this year.

Added to that - she is my youngest and last child and to be without any pre-schoolers in the house for the first time in nearly 14 years is going to be very strange indeed...

misdee · 12/03/2007 19:06

dd2 was born on the 1st sept 2002. she is ready for school now. if i had had 9hours earlier, she would be at school now. she is starting sept. she is ready for school now, but there is nothing i can do about it. she is in full days nursery, funded private nursery in the mornings, lunch there, then afternoon in the other building for state nursery, but thats only because of exceptional family circumstances.

wheresthevalium · 12/03/2007 19:48

Exactly the same situation here, DD1 was born in June 02 ans started reception in September, she seems to be fine, and enjoying it, but she is one of the youngest, and I think it helped a great deal that she went to CM with one of the oldest in her class for 3 years before starting school.

DD2 was born Spetember 03, only 15 months between them, but 2 school years. We are incredibly lucky in that she has been given a morning place at the school nursery recently, she really needed to go. That said, I am glad that she will have nearly 2 years pre-school before she starts reception, it will make it a lot easier for her in the long run.

overtherainbow · 12/03/2007 20:29

I have a ds August 30th birthday. He is 7 now. He copes well with his schoolwork, average ability - got level 2a's and 2b's in his SATS which he took last year. However, emotionally, I feel being the youngest in his year group does him no favours. I wish, wish, wish, he had been born 2 days later. I myself am August born and I too feel that if I was born a month or two later I could have acheived higher - like the majority of the Autumn children at the time who did so.
In a few years time you will be so pleased of the day he was born!!