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Original poster

I have been told to stop reading at home with my 5 year old!

67 replies

manicmama · 06/03/2007 17:44

I can't believe it. My 5 year old, who is in Reception, is currently learning how to read. He loves reading and a couple of months ago started to nag me for extra words to read. I spoke to his teacher and was told that she could not give him more words until it was "time" to do so.

Things then seemed to improve a bit but this has not lasted. My DS was getting so frustrated that I bought him the same books he does at school only a bit more advanced. He reads them at home with me (his choice, not mine). I have today been told by the teacher to stop reading these books with him because he will just learn to "memorise" them rather than read them !?

I am really angry about this. I am not pushing my DS - he is just keen and I think it should be encouraged.

Has anyone else had similar experiences?

OP posts:
cat64 · 06/03/2007 23:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Skribble · 06/03/2007 23:31

TBH I can see her point, if he is frustrated now he will be more frustrated as he progresses through the books at school if he has already read them at home.

I would let DS lose in the library and see what he likes. DD hated the puddle lane ones and other reading scheme type ones but loves all kinds of other books. She has always been a good reader and finds the school books easy, but I think it is good for her to work at a level where she is competent and confident rather than being stretched constantly. We get loads of books from the charity shops and she has all kinds at all sorts of levels, I even find her reading the National Geographic magazine in bed.

shouldbedoingsomethingelse · 06/03/2007 23:34

All my kids love Apple Tree farm, (Aww Mr and Mrs boot, Poppy and Sam and their dog called Rusty, not to forget good old ted.....ooooopps sorry got carried away there )

My son loved the ORT (biff and chip )books but wasnt allowed them in reception so I bought them up to stage 5 and he read them at home.

Keep reading with him , There are lots of little schemes that you can read, my DS loved them all.

I understand fully about it being him and not you pushing.

steinermum · 06/03/2007 23:43

Certain kids just 'get' reading and should be allowed to keep going on anything that interests them. My ds1 learned to read very early, is now 10.5 and still an avid reader, whereas ds2 is much slower to learn. If your child wants to read, encourage it and don't worry about an insecure teacher. The damage that is done is in trying to force children who are not intellectually ready, not in fostering a love of reading in those to whom it comes naturally.

astronomer · 07/03/2007 09:08

I get the feeling many primary schools will hold the reception children back a little as it is the end of reception year that the baseline assessment is made. This result is compared with the year 6 sats results to give the added value score for that school. Year 6 sats are capped ie the maximum test result is a level 5. So a child who is reported as reading, writing and numerate at the end of reception will make it appear that the school is not performing well.

In your shoes manicmania (as I was with DS) I would just get on and let him read his way through the local library and bookshops while he wants (it could all suddenly end as it does with many boys)

Scattercat · 07/03/2007 09:45

Read Write Inc. is a synthetic phonics reading scheme - children progress through the decodable reading books as they learn new sounds and therefore can work out the words without having to guess them. Once they have learnt all the sounds, they can move on to free reading all the lovely books out there. Obviously it is great to find other decodable reading books at the right level - try Songbirds Phonics (ORT) or Jelly and Bean books.

Original poster
manicmama · 07/03/2007 10:10

Thanks for all the advice. I will go off to the local library with my DS tomorrow. I have been with him before and he loves picking out books for me to read to him but has never shown an interest in the other reading scheme books. Maybe he will now.

OP posts:
meowmix · 07/03/2007 10:15

we've been told this for DS as he's going into prek next year and is reading already. My reaction was to tell them to f-k off, you don't just learn at school. (but was polite). We're just reading different books and will continue to do so when he's in school. How do you stop a kid learning for christs sake? carry on like this and there'll be a kids black market in words "pssst, I gotta second hand elephant going cheap.. any takers?"

Bozza · 07/03/2007 10:19

Yes I think the idea of reading the reading scheme a term or two ahead is bound to cause trouble. With DS we have read some of the M&S First Readers and some of the Ladybird Read it yourself (including some that were mine as a child and some from the charity shop). Now I just let him choose a book of his own to read to me - this weekend he read some of the Littl Red Train series books to me. But he is currently going through a phase of Mr Men books so we often read them. DS is 6.

lexcat · 07/03/2007 10:21

I always say if a child is ready and wants to learn you must go with that. You can put a child off by holding them back to much. You can also put them off by pushing them before their ready.
Make sure his reading at home doesn't clash with the school and enjoy.
Also not all words can be sounded out and have to be learn using look-say.
was, the, what, wants ect.....

Blandmum · 07/03/2007 10:22

I think if you read the OP you will see that the teacher asked manicmamma to stop reading 'these books' with her ds. Ie the reading scheme that the school is using. Not trying to stop the child learning at home.

DumbledoresGirl · 07/03/2007 10:25

That is nonsense (the teacher's attitude in the OP). Of course you should carry on encouraging your son and reading with him. Take no notice of the teacher. She is after an easy life. I know her sort as I was once a teacher and I have struggled for years for my bright ds2 to be given challenging work at school. Some teachers just can't handle the extra wrok that goes with finding challenging work for bright children to do.

She is a disgrace to my profession. If I were you, I would go and have it out with her and if you get nowhere, ask to see the head. but I have to admit, I am a fiery, pushy parent who knows a lot about primary education!

DumbledoresGirl · 07/03/2007 10:27

Oh yes fair point as always MB. It might be a good idea if you do not buy the school reading scheme books, but then, why can't the techer just jump the boy up a few levels? I have lost count of how many times I have had to ask for this to happen with my children. They should not be coming home with books they can read every word of. Reading scheme books should challenge the child's reading.

Blandmum · 07/03/2007 12:23

T be fair to the teacher, it will be very hard for her to sensibly guage how well MM's ds actually reads, if he has seen the texts before. My dd would 'read' ie had memoriesed lots of books before she was 3, but she wasn't reading them, she was reciting them.

It is quite sensible for MM to ask for her son to be put onto more challenging books if he is ready for them.

All the teacher has done is to ask that MM doesn't prempt the school reading scheme. She hasn't (in the OP) beein told not to read with her son, she hasn't been told not to let him learn at home. She has just asked that the schools reading scheme be left for school.

And now has been described as a 'disgrace to the profession'

A bit harsh, don't you think?

If the ds isn't being challenged, that is quite another issue. mm shold ask why he isn't being challened, and if he can have more demanding books.

motherinferior · 07/03/2007 12:29

You lucky sod. I wish someone would instruct me not to read the boring books that DD1 brings home. Not least because I hardly ever get round to reading them.

She's having a lot more fun trying to read Beatrix Potter on her own.

Enid · 07/03/2007 12:32

I can see the teachers point

tbh why on earth would you want to do school books at home anyway

there are tons of good books out there

or would he be happy to have you read TO him instead?

motherinferior · 07/03/2007 12:34

Speaking as a reading-addict, I loathe those school books. I think I found one, once, which had anything one could by any stretch of the imagination term narrative. I can see why they have to be done, but it's a bit like brushing your teeth.

Blandmum · 07/03/2007 12:36

Oh, go on with you! The tension when Biff , chip and kipper were on that swing that was about to break was nail bitting!

I couldn't sleep until we finished the book

singersgirl · 07/03/2007 12:37

But the thing about the Ruth Miskin books is that they each book and level only works on a certain sound. Manicmama, you could try Jelly and Bean books or the Jolly Phonics books for other decodeable books, so that your son doesn't memorise books he will read later in school. They probably introduce the sounds in a slightly different order, but I'm sure you could find some that would complement what he's doing at school.

Twiglett · 07/03/2007 12:38

only read OP

I was automatically going to answer the title with 'I would rip anybody's head off who told me not to read with my child' but I've read your OP and don't see why you can't read different books at home

it is obvious that the teacher has specific books and it is how they approach those that helps her assess your child's skills and children do easily memorise them

why can't you get a different set of books .. I can recommend 'Red nose readers' and there's many others dependent on his ability

Tiggiwinkle · 07/03/2007 12:40

I agree with many of the posts on here, in that reading ahead in the schools reading scheme will only cause problems for the teacher. If they have memorised the book, it is impoaaible to judge how well the child is coping with any new words, or whether they are actually "reading" at all.

Twiglett · 07/03/2007 12:40

oh I love it when I do a mumsnet attitude gamble by not reading the thread and then realise I am totally aligned with people who I think of intellectually superior to me .. makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside

Bozza · 07/03/2007 12:42

TBH I don't see the worry about strict order of introduction of sounds if he is reading so well and several levels ahead of where he needs to be at school. I would just choose some books that he and you enjoy and provide him with a slight challenge and go for it.

I must admit that I find Mr Men books dull but DS enjoys them and I do get some amusement about him trying to say (he can read it but not pronounce it) extraordinarily which seems to crop up in every book.

Littlefish · 07/03/2007 12:42

I agree with MB. MM has not been asked to stop reading with her child at home, as she says in her title. What she's been asked to do is to stop using the same books as the school reading scheme.

This seems like a really sensible idea to me. There are lots of other reading schemes out there, and far better, as several people have suggested, that children be given the chance to choose, share and read "real" books.

As Tortoiseshell suggests, teachers sometimes use books which may come across to the parents as too easy. The teacher knows that the child can already read a book at that level, and has deliberately chosen to use it because the focus of the guided reading session is on characterisation, punctuation, story structure, expression or many other things. If a child is concentrating on breaking down the words to read a book, they will not be able to focus on the key teaching point.

The teacher may not have expressed herself very well, but that does not negate her request.

I think that threads with reactionary titles like this are really unhelpful and do nothing to encourage shared working between home and school.

Blandmum · 07/03/2007 12:44

LOL at the concept of an 'attitude gamble'

Like a double blind clinical trial

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