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Original poster

Reading - school says they should enjoy it but its more like torture

60 replies

Bugsy2 · 26/10/2006 12:35

We are expected to supervise our children reading every night and then write the progress up in a reading progress book - this is a state primary btw.
DS is in Year 2 & it is nothing short of torture trying to get him to read. He hates it.
School say, that you should make the reading a pleasurable experience.
Can someone please tell me how???????

Dull sound of Bugsy hitting her head against a brick wall.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bugsy2 · 26/10/2006 13:39

So many good suggestions. Must be hormonal - feel a bit teary & feeble. Feel very mean for forcing him to read now. I'm probably contributing to his anxiety. [floundering emoticon]

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Labradora · 26/10/2006 13:42

Hello Bugsy

Your ds sounds identical to my ds not so long ago. I spent a fortune on books, including Captain Underpants. The problem was not the stories - he just wanted me to do the reading because he found it unrewarding himself. I know it sounds silly but could you pep up reading by letting him make up new silly names for the characters? Also, you could read the book to him first, look for daft things in the pictures etc. and forget about making him read the words for a few weeks so that he doesn't associate reading time with work. Then in parallel you could help him by teaching him a new list of words to learn off by heart (sneakily picked out of his reading book). Then when you revisit the reading of the book he'll be surprised that he recognises the words so easily.

Best of luck.

willowcatkin · 26/10/2006 20:53

Sounds to me like he does not have a decent grounding so is now struggling. Perhaps you need to back to the begginning and focus on phonics and blending. My dd used to be the same - got very frustrated at guessing and getting it wrong so I did lots of research and started her on phonics. She progressed very well as she had a good grounding in nursery and now can read almost anything.

The jolly phonics hanbook is so easy to use and we bought some books from Jelly and Bean which teachers use up to Yr 3.

Also with boys they would much rather be active than sitting reading so we used to write sentences like 'run to the door' so he was reading and active at the same time, or have cards with words on and the objects the other side of the room and he had to match the word to the object. And there is always bribery!

nearlythree · 26/10/2006 21:17

My cousin's ds (who is formidably clever) didn't bother reading much until he was in his teens, when he discovered Andy McNabb. I'm all for letting kids go at their own pace. Our dd gets Oxford Reading Tree and they are rubbish, we read her own books with her instead. Also agree about boys and phonics. Our dd has a tub full of alphabet letters which stick on the bath and she spends the whole of bathtime identifying the letters and spelling words (drives me nuts) but might be worth a try?

nearlythree · 26/10/2006 21:18

Btw the letters came from Tesco.

amicissima · 26/10/2006 21:34

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cat64 · 26/10/2006 21:38

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busybusymum · 26/10/2006 21:41

just gonna throw this thought in My DH was an avid reader as a child, always had his nose in a book and talks fondly of the books he enjoyed but we've been together for 18 years and he has never read a book in all that time

jennifersofia · 26/10/2006 21:58

I agree with willowcatkin - it sounds like a) the books he is being sent home with are too difficult and b) he might be finding it difficult because he was moved on before he got to grips with the foundation. Does he know all his letter sounds? How is he on High Frequency Words? The thing with blending is hard, and sometimes it takes a long time for it to 'click' with children. I also recommend getting the Jolly Phonics handbook and having a read through. Not exactly thrilling reading, but it is clear and has a whole system in place as well as games to help in the back.
I do think it is good for children to do things in their own time, but reading is so fundamental to accessing the rest of the curriculum that it could be a bit torturous for him if it continues to be really really hard.

singersgirl · 27/10/2006 00:01

I saw this thread earlier, but didn't have time to post. I would really support what Willowcatkin and JenniferSofia said. If your son has a secure knowledge of phonics, then he will be able to read pretty much anything. Ruth Miskin and Jelly and Bean both do really good books that teach all the letter-sound correspondences explicitly and clearly. Oxford Reading Tree relies a lot on whole word memorisation, and some children find this hard. Your son would probably love to read a book full of words he could sound out - the ORT books are notoriously bad for that.

DottieParker · 27/10/2006 00:27

Poetry my dear. Poetry is the key darling, especially if its funny and rude.

Blu · 27/10/2006 00:56

DS , yr 1, htes reaing with me , it is apartbo process. he like srewding wihr school. RElax. Id he is bot thisn he wll picj it up.

Ask me aboub this toimorrow...

Blu · 27/10/2006 00:56

poetry is rally good,

sorrell · 27/10/2006 00:58

Blu/Cod... are they the same person?

DottieParker · 27/10/2006 01:15

Alchoholics not - so - Anon (iykwim)

Original poster
Bugsy2 · 27/10/2006 09:19

Thank you all so much for the suggestions here. Last year he had extra help with both blending & phonics. I'm not sure exactly what the two groups were called that he went into, but they were to try and get him up to speed with the rest of the class.
I thought about this so much yesterday & I am going to use lots of the suggestions given here. You have given me so many useful pointers - more help than school have given me.

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Blu · 27/10/2006 09:27

Ooops
My phonics became a little over-blended last night, sorry.

expatinscotland · 27/10/2006 09:30

That sort of sucks. I mean, here, we're going to force you to do this, but it's meant to be pleasurable.

Some people just aren't readers.

It's the spice of life.

But hey, can't expect an institution like schools, w/all their targets, to acknowledge that.

nooka · 27/10/2006 10:28

My ds also hates his school books, and although it is partly because they are boring, it's also because he finds reading incredibly hard. He has just been assessed as dyslexic, which wasn't a surprise as it runs very strongly in my family, but the school had not picked it up at all (he is very bright). He has good compensation techniques (mostly through guessing) but cannot sound out, because phonetics just doesn't work for him at all (that's his major dyslexic issue). We tried many of the things recommended here, and some of them help, but he still hates reading. I know that he will in time be able to overcome this, but the real problem is that he doesn't want anyone to know that he is not good at it. He is, like many small boys, very competive, and if he thinks he's no good at something he just switches off to it. Because of the possibility of dyslexia I haven't pushed him too much, and the school haven't commented that he barely gets through a couple of books a term, but it is a worry. I've talked to other members of my family with dyslexia, and there seem to be some common threads - is your ds otherwise bright (if his verbal reasoning is way ahead of his written skills that's soemthing to note, especially as he gets older); is he better at long words than short ones? Does he get a word right, but then forget it a little while later? Does he find books with pictures easier than ones without (great for helping the guessing!) Does the subject matter actually make a difference (ds will persevere more with Dr Suess than the tedious stuff from school, but still struggles). Is your dd older? My dd is younger, and ds will read her school books to her (she is in yr 1), which is nice, however I do worry, because already she is catching up with him, which will undoubtedly make him feel worse...

expatinscotland · 27/10/2006 10:30

My husband is dyslexic. It's entirely possible DD1 is, too.

Some people just aren't readers.

I'd hate to push something on my daughter just b/c that's what hte school expects.

People can be talented in so many different ways.

nearlythree · 27/10/2006 10:43

I think part of the problem is that society says that schools are responsible for our childrens' education. If we look at it from the pov that we are responsible for our childrens' education and schools are just a part of that then it takes a lot of the pressure to conform away - we know our children better than anyone. The problem is that, as expat says, schools are required to do so much and as parents we have so little say that it is very hard to reclaim our role in our own childrens' lives w/out the school getting annoyed about it and us being labelled as 'difficult'.

Original poster
Bugsy2 · 27/10/2006 10:55

Hi nooka, that's interesting about dyslexia. His reception teacher said it may be an issue, but no one else has mentioned it since.
My observations would be:
He finds long words easier than short words
He frequently forgets words we have worked out minutes before
He does lots of ramdom guessing, just using the first letter of the word
He is very shy of trying words he might struggle with
It is always hard as a parent to objectively assess you own child's intelligence. I would say he was bright, not a genius or exceptional but naturally enquiring & interested in the world around him.
DD is younger than him by 2.5 years, but she is already keen as mustard to read & write. Her favourite game at the moment is copying words out (particularly poo & wee!!!!!).
Do my DS's "symptoms" sound similar to your sons?

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juuule · 27/10/2006 10:56

I'd say let him do it in his own time. I would agree with the poetry suggestion. It worked with one of mine who just didn't 'get' reading. Loved nursery rhymes and picked up the words as we read from a lovely nursery rhyme book. Took till the end of y2 though. A book my children find fun is Silly Verse for Kids by Spike Milligan. Full of little ditties.

Pruni · 27/10/2006 10:58

Message withdrawn

Original poster
Bugsy2 · 27/10/2006 10:59

Expat & Nearlythree - agree with what you are saying. However, DS is pretty miserable at school & has real self esteem issues because he is very aware that he can't do the same things as many of his class peers. I don't intend to home educate, so I'm stuck with the system as it is & need to try and get my poor bean as settled as I can within it - if that makes sense!

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