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Education

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Original poster

Are single sex schools good or bad?

102 replies

Wills · 05/09/2006 14:25

My gut instinct is bad but I'm not sure why I feel like this.

To give you the background. We've just moved counties and focused on finding dd1 an infant school. Having done that we are now having to look (almost immeidately) at Junior schools. Our house is basically placed between two that seem fairly similar on paper (need to visit of course) so I thought I'd have a quick look at the senior schools to see if there was an obvious better one. I was completely blown away by how good the senior schools are but.... most of them are single sex. There is only one good mixed school.

From articles I've read in the newspapers it appears that single sex schools can focus their teaching style appropriately and therefore get better results. BUT I want my kids to grow up realising that the opposite is merely the opposite sex and not something that should be put either on a pedestal or to be scared of. Are my fears stupid?

OP posts:

Wordsmith · 05/09/2006 21:06

Hulababy i would have agreed with you before I worked in a woman-only office.

clumsymum · 06/09/2006 12:07

Wordsmith, Like Blu, I didn't come out of an all girls school "gagging for it".

In fact I have had far fewer sexual partners than most of my peers, and was MUCH more choosy at university than many of the other girls.

Not a valid theory I'm afraid.

Wordsmith · 06/09/2006 12:34

No, I accept that. It's just my experience, that's all.

Marina · 06/09/2006 12:39

Looks like your experience of single-sex schools turning young women into nymphomaniacs is the minority one then wordsmith. I'm also exceptionally choosy about the men with whom I have relationships and so were/are most of my classmates. As I had a busy social life outside school I also managed to avoid idealising teenage boys.

spook · 06/09/2006 12:45

Oh Jesus Wordsmith. I sincerely hope my boys don't grow up to be self-obsessed nerds. (unless they take after their father ofcourse who's more a wanker than a nerd)

clerkKent · 06/09/2006 12:53

I went to a boys-only selective school, and I did miss out on female company until I went to university. On the other hand the academic education was first rate.

Pamina3 · 06/09/2006 13:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Wills · 06/09/2006 13:28

I suppose there is part of me that's worried that my children will put the opposite sex onto some sort of pedestal etc but another part of me feels that that is also down to their personality and how I raise them etc etc. But Uwila certainly echos one of my concerns that school is part of life and that the opposite sex is part of life. I'm not saying all learning should be at school, far from it, learning happens throughout the day etc etc just that it feels a little abnormal to have half the population seperated out for a period of the day etc etc etc. At the same time I see what you're saying about teaching and distraction and you are starting to give me a counter perspective to all the fears that I've always had about single sex schools. From reading most of your thoughts I can see that I can't rule a school out purely because they're not mixed. But as another thought.... Is it important for all children to go the same school? I mean apart from an exhausted mum trying to taxi kids all over the place is there any benefit for the siblings themselves. Its just that we have 2 girls and a recently arrived little boy. It feels a little odd that whilst the girls would be in the same school he would not. But can't work out why I feel like that. But if that's the case why should the younger daughter necessarily go the same school as dd1.

OP posts:

Hallgerda · 06/09/2006 13:45

Wills, I'm resigned to the possibility that my children may end up at different schools, and, if they do, it could be an opportunity for DS2 and DS3 to make their own way in life without being treated as DS1's little brother. As for the ferrying, secondary school children generally make their own way there.

Over the "unnatural" point made by you and others, I agree with Marina that school isn't "real life". It's hard to say what constitutes "natural" where human beings are concerned - is separation of age groups any more natural than separation of sexes? Do any hunter-gatherer tribes keep their teenagers together in large mixed groups? I suspect not, but do correct me if I'm wrong, all you anthropologists out there...

Piffle · 06/09/2006 13:46

I detested single sex secondary school. I was highly academic and wanted boys to compete against, plus I was a tomboy and did not get on with girls in the main.
DS however is at a boys school and really thriving.
Depends entirely on the child IMHO

Original poster

Wills · 06/09/2006 14:50

Hallgerda - good point about age.

Piffle - blimey hadn't thought of that what a good point. DD1 is girly and would probably enjoy all girls, dd2 however is distinctly a tomboy.

Thanks

OP posts:

batters · 06/09/2006 15:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hulababy · 06/09/2006 15:33

Wordsmith - I have worked in both. The women's only office wasn't for me at all. Maybe too many hormones

Wordsmith · 06/09/2006 20:12

Of course it wasn't serious! Doesn't mean I didn'ty know several girls school graduates who were nymphos, and several boys school ones who were nerds, though! Obviously I don't know anyone on this thread so how can I possibly be commenting on you?

kiskidee · 06/09/2006 20:23

i teach in an all boys secondary. it like it that way. the shortfalls are that it keeps boys immature a bit longer - they don't have girls around to act mature so they can impress. I find that they are on the whole an excellent cross section of personalities. very much more than self obsessed nerds.

the all girls school down the road has excellent results, better than ours. the downfall of it, i hear, is the bitchiness that a hothouse of girls can cultivate. again, it also produces an excellent mix of people not just nymphos or any other stereotype you want to paste.
i went to an all girls school and would happily send my dd to one. i never felt like i missed out on boys as i had brothers, cousins and male friends to keep me company outside school.

figroll · 06/09/2006 20:52

Well I have 2 girls in an all girls' school and I went to one. I haven't seen any evidence so far of the "nymphomaniac" syndrome in either of my 2 daughters, but I may be premature here! (I wasn't a nympho either!). However, there were a few boy mad kids at their primary school who used to follow one particular boy round with their tongues lolling whilst he was playing football (they were only 10 too.) and that school was mixed.

I have found that having 2 girls, quite often teachers seem to concentrate on the boys in the class. In swimming lessons, tennis lessons, the coach has always been more interested in the boys - I don't know why, but it is infuriating when you only have girls. So I am really glad that we chose a single sex school for both of them - they love it too.

ScummyMummy · 06/09/2006 22:20

Alan Smithers did some good research into this- he found it makes no difference academically either way. No advantages or disadvantages to being in a monogendered environment in terms of your results. Apparently the girls do better without boys thing is a myth once you factor in social class variables. So he concludes that choosing a single sex school or not very much depends on what you and your kids prefer. Which seems sensible enough, I guess.
There's an article about it here.
My mum was adamant that I went to a mixed school so I could "be aware of the enemy". lol- I do miss her sometimes. She was v funny.

rustybear · 06/09/2006 22:32

Both mine went to single sex schools - DS to all boys grammar, perfectly happy with it.
DD went to all girls comp, -supposedly there's a choice in our area between single sex & co-ed, but in fact you're stuck with the one you're in catchment for.DD has always (since playgroup) preferred playing/socialising with boys & she's now going to 6th form college - in fact one of her teachers suggested she'd get more out of sixth form in a co-ed environment.

clumsymum · 06/09/2006 22:34

I'm disappointed. I REALLY wanted to find a posting on here that said "Wordsmith is right, I went to an all girls school and I can't get enough"

Seriously tho' I'm surprised at how many of us went to single sex schools. I would eagerly put ds into our local boys school, if I could afford the fees.

thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat · 06/09/2006 22:39

I went to an all girls school and think it had definite advantages. One of the best things I got was some fantastic friends for life. I'd be happy to send dds to one - if they had other bits of their lives through which they had male friends. Living in a small village where everyone knew everyone I had a good network of friends outside school, so never put the opposite sex on a pedestal - if anything I did the opposite - I thought most blokes were a bit thick - and that girls rocked. I didn't meet a really intelligent bloke til I went to university.

ks · 06/09/2006 22:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

harpsichordcarrier · 06/09/2006 22:58

"I didn't meet a really intelligent bloke til I went to university."
see, I think that is a bit sad. I spent my school days surrounded by lovely clever boys and girls. and a load of dull and stupid ones too, of course.
last night I went out with my best friend from school, who happens to be a man. I was his best man and he is a bloody rock for me and always has been.
I am really glad I got the chance to get to know him properly by being at school with him.
I personally believe that it is artificial and a bit odd to educate the sexes separately. I think it may work for some people, but I think for boys and girls who don't fit the "norm" it can be much harder to be in a single sex environment. e.g. I was great friends with a couple of gay blokes at school, and I imagine they might have had a more difficult time at a boys school.
I think it makes for a better atmosphere and a better preparation for life.

Judy1234 · 06/09/2006 23:00

May be less underage sex at all girls schools too or so we found (both my daughters are now at university and went to all girls schools). I haven't noticed them going wild at university either. Helps they have brothers and socialise out of school too. I'm sure the sex comment below was a joke. Probably most of us don't want our teenagers to become sexually active too young.

harpsichordcarrier · 06/09/2006 23:05

I think the propensity to have sex at a particular age has a great deal to do with parental and family and peer and social influences and personality and a great deal less to do with the simple fact of whether a child is in a single sex or mixed sex school.
what a single sex school won't do and can't do is give children the experience of learning and working and competing alongside the opposite sex. which imho is a big negative point.
whether or not they are snogging behind the bike sheds is a bit of a red herring I think

thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat · 06/09/2006 23:20

I do see your point harsichordcarrier but the other argument is that a girls school gives girls utter utter confidence. Maybe that's less significant these days but 20 years ago I know that not a single one of my school friends felt that their gender was in any way relevant to their potential or their career choices. And I do think that - at least for some of them - they would not have felt that way had they been in a mixed environment.

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