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Original poster

Do any of you go to church just to get your children into a good school?

32 replies

charliecat · 30/08/2006 21:50

?

OP posts:
LiliLaTigresse · 30/08/2006 21:54

nope
I just pay

clerkKent · 31/08/2006 12:58

We "strongly encourage" our two to attend the church choir. This gives them (a) a free musical education (b) membership of a church (c) links with the local community, and gives us a few free hours a week. We started them young to ensure 3 years active church membership when secondary school choice comes along. But it is a big commitment, for them and us.

batters · 31/08/2006 13:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pamina3 · 31/08/2006 13:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

electrica77 · 31/08/2006 13:38

My cousin advised us to do this when the time comes, but i pointed out we were pagan and that therefore its a bit like asking a Muslim to eat pork for a while so he could convincingly pass as a pig farmer.

foundintranslation · 31/08/2006 13:47

I would certainly not do this myself - I go to church out of faith, dh is an atheist - but it's cr*p that anyone has to think of doing it.

Saturn74 · 31/08/2006 13:50

Wouldn't feel comfortable setting this sort of example to my children.

Judy1234 · 31/08/2006 14:36

It's very common. We go to church because of belief and I pay for them to go to private schools. We did at 5 apply for the eldest to our church school in case she didn't win a place at the school she ended up at but we were already involved anyway witwh the church. Sometimes it has a good effect - people recover a faith that had lapsed or find a community of people to be involved with and other children/families they can get to know. It's not necessarily always negative.

Uwila · 31/08/2006 14:45

No. I go to church because I am commited to my religeon. I am COE and if the best school in the neighborhood was Catholic, you wouldn't see me jumping ship to become catholic.

But, I would use my existing COE faith to get my kids an education I couldn't otherwise afford.

lemonaid · 31/08/2006 14:56

No. If I weren't atheist/secular humanist but just a lapsed Catholic I might consider attanding church again with half an eye to a school place, but as Xenia suggests I don't think it would be something I'd stick at unless there was some genuine reawakening of faith. As it is I actively disagree with what's taught so I wouldn't consider it.

AngelaChill · 01/09/2006 19:06

Kind of, but the grandparents are both quite reglious anyway so we just pop along with them more often than we did before.

Mytholmroyd · 04/09/2006 20:58

My cousin suddenly rediscovered her faith when she realised the best state secondary school in the area was RC. Having insisted for years that her sons would not be baptised until they were old enough to make the decision for themselves - and arguing frequently with her devout and upset parents to this effect - she whisked them both off to instruction and baptism when the eldest was 10, as if it was quite the normal thing to do. She refuses to admit even to this day that it was simply to get them into the school. Dont mind people making the most of things - its the hypocrisy I cant stand!

Me, I just pay through the teeth like Lili ... Catholic kids in a C of E school.

nutcracker · 04/09/2006 20:59

No but I would and nearly did when we lived elsewhere.

nikkie · 04/09/2006 21:06

No need round here, I do find it strange that people round here choose a catholic school and never go to church when there is another good school very close.

nulnulcat · 04/09/2006 21:33

i do, i was a lapsed catholic had dd and started attending again so i could get her baptised and still attend every week to make sure she gets into the only decent school round here. decision wasnt just to do with schools though i wanted to bring her up catholic and make her own mind up when she was old enough

Carmenere · 04/09/2006 21:53

I have to admit I am having a real inner struggle about this very subject. Dd is just 2.5 and the best school around here is Catholic. We had her baptised because we felt that Catholiscm was the best spititual grounding for her(I was brought up a Catholic and have very devout parents) and her half brothers and sister are Catholic but her dad is CoE but doesn't attend.
At the back of our mind was schooling but the more I think about it the more difficult I find the prospect. I hated being educated in a Catholic school but am well aware that a good and progressive school in South London is going to be better than the withered and bitter old hags that made my life a misery in a small Irish country town.
My main problem is that I will feel hipocritical for attending mass with my child as I don't necessisarily belive in the Catholic church. I have a strong personal spirituality and consider myself to be Christian and am grateful for the religious foundation I got but I don't subscribe to the RC church as it is. I have committed sins(in their eyes) and am not repentant as I strongly feel that my morality is between my God and me.
As far as I know you need a reccomendation from the local parish priest in this parish in order to get into the school and this is dependent on him knowing you.
I'm just not sure what to do for the best. I want my child to go to the school but I don't want to compromise my beliefs. I'm thinking of just being straight with the priest in question and seeing if he would appriciate that, whilst I have respect for the faith I don't want to be hipocritical.
What would you do in my situation?

oops · 04/09/2006 21:58

Message withdrawn

Loshad · 04/09/2006 23:10

like lili, we just pay. i do think it's somewhat hypocritical to to go to church just for school, but i guess pople only do what they think will be best for their child

AngelaChill · 04/09/2006 23:30

Camerenere - from what I remember of my very brief Catholic education it's not something you can do half hearted, my mother attempted this, put us in a Catholic school but never attended mass and the school caught on to this very quickly and I was made to feel "different" and had to sit certain things out with the other 3 non Catholic children in my class even though I was supposed to be Catholic, IYSWIM.

beckybrastraps · 04/09/2006 23:47

Well, most of the children in my catholic school never darkened the door of a church, and were nevr made to "sit out", any more than non-catholics were. But their families were catholic. Perhaps it's a culture thing?

beckybrastraps · 04/09/2006 23:48

By catholic, I don't mean they necessarily were devout, or church-going, just that, well, they were "catholic families".

MarsLady · 04/09/2006 23:56

Nope! Go to Church to worship God. There are those at school who do or should I say did go for just that reason.

MarsLady · 04/09/2006 23:58

Carmenere... talk to the Priest.

Heathcliffscathy · 05/09/2006 00:02

i am so contrary and obstinate that i'm actually going to a different church (despite wanting ds to go to the local church school) as the vicar is such a pr*ck and sneers and is dismissive of parents of young children at his church.

talk about cutting your nose off to spite your face.

Judy1234 · 05/09/2006 20:23

If they are very over subscribed then don't be honest like that with the priest Carmenere.
Also not sure all schools are like that. I went to a lovely private girls convent school which was basiclaly free and easy Montessori teaching 1960s nuns post vatican II playing guitars etc. I am not sure English Catholic schools are always the same as the Irish ones I've heard about.