Is being bilingual really worth the hard work?

[herdream1]

I am a foreign national who lives in UK with a DD age 8. My DH is English. So far I tried to support/push my DD's learning my native language and let her attend Saturday classes, which is basically for ex-pat children who are going back to my country, thus very high expectation and lots of home works. Also it is 1 hour drive one-way. My DD seems happy to go, but also curious about other clubs she can go to if we drop it.

Lately I am not sure if it is really worth continuing this Sat literacy class, or even trying to make her bilingual by talking to her in my native language.

I can not see being able to speak my native language will help her get a job in the future (except if she lives in my country, which I am not particularly keen).

For GCSE (and A-level??), she can study for the exam when she is older, if she chooses.

I am ok with her not speaking my language. But I will continue if she can expect return worth the efforts.

Can anyone assure me that it IS worth continuing the second language education when it takes so much hard work and there seems no practical use for it in the future?? Many thanks.

Whatever language it is brings cognitive benefits throughout life, not just educational development.

I dont agree. I was bilingual when i was a child (greek/english). I cant remember speaking the language but have been told I could, but i am sure it is the reason i have word finding difficulties when i am stressed.

My DH is trilingual, grew up in one country, bussed across the border to his home country for school everyday and third language from working in my home country for 20 years. I think he is very fortunate indeed. So I am trying to do the same for our kids, he speaks one language to them and me another. The third language comes from the country we live in. So far they are able to switch back and forth quite happily, although I assume my language will always be their strongest one.

I have met many immigrants that moved abroad when they were, say, 8-12 years old and after many years in their new country many of them can't speak either their first or second language particularly well.

I do find it hard to accept that a normal bilingual, who I think we are referring to in this thread, can't speak a language to the level of that of a native speaker.

I'm English living in a southern European country.For me it was important for my DCs to be fluent in English for many reasons. Being able to communicate with relatives in England was essential but also I couldn't imagine talking to my children in a foreign language. It wouldn't feel right!Each parent talks to the DCs in their own language. I exposed them to as much English as possible when they were little without any formal education until they were older when they took the Cambridge exams for English as a second language. When they were little English was their dominant language and now that they're in their teens they speak each equally well even though all their schooling has been in the native language. They are positive about their bilingualism as it gives them something extra lingually and culturally.

They also speak English to each other which makes me feel great!

Takver, have you assessed every single individual? How do you know here aren't some who are struggling.

Very true, Luggage, but I've never ever heard it mentioned as an issue, nor ever met anyone Welsh who can't speak perfect English. I do know Welsh people who are wary of using written Welsh (eg translating signs) because they mainly use it as a spoken language.

I also know English parents who avoid Welsh medium education for dyslexic dc because they want them to focus on learning to write/read the majority language, but that's a different issue.

I think there are two levels when it comes to knowing a language. One is being able to speak it, write it, read it, function everyday with it at work, etc. But if you are a writer, a journalist, someone for whom it is not just enough to know the language... Well that's a whole other level. That's where I think it helps to have ONE main language. I think Dickens or Garcia Marquez would've never written the way they did if they had been brought up bilingual. Equally, Kundera claims he is bilingual but his French writing never reached the level of his Czech writing, IMHO.
So, the two main factors for me not to prioritise my language were thought articulation and creative writing. But then it is true not everybody will end up making a living from writing! Multilingualism is very useful in business!
I also didn't want to have a two way conversation every evening when we're together as a family. I found that exhausting!!

We have been raising our two DC as bilingual and since DH is also the native speaker of the other language, it has been relatively easy in our family as we only speak our first language at home. We still put in extra work, both children to Saturday classes (albeit a 5-min drive away) and do home work. DS (11 y.o.) is preparing take his GCSE soon as he is already advanced enough.

We have not really considered NOT maintaining their first language so everything else just sort of has to fall into place. So far it hasn't seem to take up much of their time - but I do think that it might affect their English acquisition. The fact that we don't speak English at home deprives them of a huge chunk of vocabulary which is normally naturally passed from the parents to the children - so they have to make an extra effort with their reading, writing, etc.

For my career (not translation!), it helped speaking more than one European language. In fact, my firm is recruiting, and one of the must-haves for a position in my team is another European language.

Again, we don't do translation work really… but we DO work for a global business. So if your child one day wants to embark on a global career (you can have a global career while staying in the UK - but you have a lot to do with colleagues/clients abroad), having additional language skills helps.

My DH has had a "global career" and never learnt another language. He is probably dyslexic and was considered too thick to learn MFL at school, but has managed without another language working in many different countries.

Thank you for the recent posts, very much appreciated and interesting.

Comments about a bilingual person not excelling in either language; I have to agree with this. My DD, along with the half-English children I know (about 30 children or so) definitely stronger in maths, weaker in literacy.

And I agree with bruffin: no need for a second language to be successful in global businesses: solid English is all you need in my experience.

I thought I was ok with my DD not peaking my native language, but lately I find it really hard to accept that. It is as though I am losing connection with DD and she will not know true me if I was to speak to her only in English.

I'm pregnant with my first, so I can't give any advice as to how difficult it is to raise a billingual child. However, I'm looking for advice from people who have a significant other that does not speak your native language and are raising your child billingual. How is that working out for you? Do you speak to your child in your native language regardless of the fact that your significant other does not understand? Is that awkward?

One of my biggest hopes is that my child will be billingual. I was raised speaking Spanish and English, but because I grew up on the US/Mexican border it was easy to visit family there while going to school in the US. Now, in England, I'm worried that I will have trouble teaching my child Spanish, especially because my husband does not speak it and my family won't be around most of the time. Any advice? Have any of you been in a similar situation?

My son is bilingual. We live in Italy, dad Italian, I'm English.

While English is a language that opens doors, that wasn't my main motivation. It's about me not being ... "a foreigner" from my son's perspective.

My Italian is fluent, but very much my second language. I'll always be the one with the inelegant phrasing, the random prepositions and the iffy accent. If English wasn't our language of communication my only avenue of communication with him would be in a language where we were not on an equal footing. The he would never really hear me, as I really am, outside of the constraints of my second language.

I guess if my second language were of an exceptionally high level it wouldn't be so pressing. But it isn't, so bringing him up bilingual/bicultural was the only way I felt confident that he could really know me fully.

Stick with it. Your DD probably understands a lot more than you think she does and one day it'll just click. She'll thank you later.

However, I'm looking for advice from people who have a significant other that does not speak your native language and are raising your child billingual. How is that working out for you? Do you speak to your child in your native language regardless of the fact that your significant other does not understand? Is that awkward?

DH doesn't speak English. Well he didn't before we had our son. He can manage on the phone now if my sister calls.

I have always spoken English to DS (now almost 14). DH was a bit lost at first, but over time his comprehension improves. At some point I stopped exclusively speaking Italian to him. If we are alone, more often than not it's Italian. When we are together as a family I speak English to him, he speaks back in Italian. Sometimes he'll go and I'll switch to Italian for clarity. But that's mainly when I am deeply pissed off and speaking at the speed of light. Or waving arms and shouting incoherently

We didn't set out to do it this way. It just sort of happened. No idea if we will go back to just Italian when DS leaves home. Possibly not. I like not being the one always on the back foot linguistically.

I've never really forgiven my parents for failing to help me learn the language of the country we lived in for several years when I was at the perfect age for learning language. They couldn't speak it either, but sent me to an. English speaking school and hung out with ex pats. It is such a shame. And I don't think about career advantage, but I feel like a part of me is missing (drama queen). I have spent many years and a lot of money trying to learn it.

I dunno, just seems like a wasted opportunity.

Sadly, language graduates don't get all the best jobs! However, learning a language from a native speaker is a huge advantage. If the child is interested in the language it is a very easy A level and helps enormously with getting on a degree course. I can't think of a reason not to do it.

I know this is an old thread, but as it will appear in searches if parents are looking for advice on raising children in multilingual families, I want to correct some of the absolute dangerous, anti-scientific nonsense posted so far:

• There is no evidence whatsoever that children who are bilingual from birth suffer any impairment in either of their languages. As long as the child receives sufficient input in the language, which will be the case if their parent uses the language with them, they have a foundation to speak the language to a native level as an adult. This is true up to the age of around 10 years - look up the Critical Period Hypothesis.
• That said, emotions, both positive and negative, play a strong role in language learning. For example, if a parental language is only used for discipline, or in a situation a child finds uncomfortable such as being left out when visiting relatives, the child can be less likely to progress in the language. The implication of this is that if a child is 'raised bilingual' and struggles with the minority language, there is no effect from an extra cognitive load of two languages - it's more likely to be other factors.
• There is debate in psychology and linguistic communities as to whether bilingualism brings cognitive advantages - but there is no evidence at all that it brings disadvantages, as a previous poster claimed.
• Language skills in the workplace are not just translation - based. There are general advantages to extra language knowledge, whether it's earning potential (scholar.google.co.uk/scholar_url?url=www.academia.edu/download/39189249/Chapter10_Ee.pdf&hl=en&sa=X&scisig=AAGBfm1JI87SqRmI1t66lMRKx0oF12-asA&nossl=1&oi=scholar), improved empathy, or the ability to tailor your message to your audience, which is obviously vital in sales, marketing and other areas of business.
• Empirically, very few adults who were raised bilingually regret that they have two native languages. The Waltham Forest Bilingual Group did a study of 50 adult bilinguals which found that all the interviewees were pleased to have been raised bilingually (www.wfbilingual.org.uk/component/content/article/21-news-wfbg/68-growing-up-with-languages.html). Of course this is hardly an impartial source, but I have read this book and used it in my academic work, and it is a proper piece of scientific research.

A bilingual family isn't for everyone, and no parent should feel pressured to raise their children speaking a specific language if they don't feel its right for their family. But if anyone does choose to raise bilingual children, please don't listen to some of the rubbish posted in this thread saying that it will harm their development.

A bilingual family isn't for everyone.

Sorry, not sure what that last line is doing there!

I grew up bilingual but I feel as a result I speak 2 languages to 99.9%. It makes me really self conscious and people in both countries ask where I am from as I have the tiniest of accents in both languages. It makes me feel as I don't belong anywhere. I am certainly not more intelligent because of it, but sometimes find it really hard to Express myself clearly as the words of both languages pop up in my head at the same time or just the word from the other language my opposite does not speak and I just go 'eh ...' and sound really stupid. I want for my DC to speak English 110 percent and a couple of other languages at GCSE or A level level to get about st holiday, read foreign newspapers- but just not have that mumble jumble in their head of dreaming and thinking in 2 languages simultaneously.

I have been doing this for 9.5 years now. It is a lot of effort, but my children are now completely at home in both cultures. There is no reason why you would always have to do maths, science, or reading in English; we do both and always have done. I'd like to think that it has helped my children progress faster academically. I am confident that we could move over there tomorrow, and they would have no problem catching up in school or talking to people. It is very important to speak your language to your child all the time; sending them to Saturday school will help them, but only if it's done in conjunction with being bilingual at home. I admit I'm quite strict with my kids when it comes to this, so when they address me in English (even though there is no one else present who wouldn't understand my language), I say to them that I can't hear them properly for some reason 😉. It annoys them a bit, but they do feel proud to be fluent in two languages at their age.

I would definitely make the effort.
I envy people who speak several languages

It never felt difficult or awkward speaking a different language with my mum. Would always recommend it.

My mum is from overseas, and solely communicated in her native language throughout our childhood. Although all of us siblings can't read and write my mother's native tongue, we can all speak fluently.

Additionally, I've found learning new languages easier and have managed to pick up 2 additional ones along the way.

I've taken a similar approach with my children (all below 10), and they can understand multiple languages, although they can't speak very well. Dilution effect applies.

Communication will never be an issue, and it certainly won't impede career progression, as English is spoken all over the world, but it's nice to be bilingual, especially when others aren't expecting it. 😏