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Original poster

For those who did, do you think going to an all girls school was a good thing for you...?

254 replies

BraveMerida · 09/12/2013 04:19

...or did it scar you for life ? Why?!

And would/did/do you send your dd to one?

just interested. Brew

OP posts:
merrymouse · 10/12/2013 15:35

I'd have to say that non-catholic catholic schools are outside my experience.

WhatHo · 10/12/2013 15:51

Haven't read the whole thread but from my personal experience, stick with one system from 12 to 18. I know that's not what you're asking but fuck it I'm going to tell me tale anyway Grin

I went from a very well-known and academically strong single sex to a well-known boys school who had just introduced girls in the 6th form and it was a massive failure for me, academically, socially and emotionally. There were 350 boys and 29 girls and it had this mad febrile atmosphere were the boys both lusted after and sneered at the girls, putting them down at every oppo, marking us out of 10 in the dining room etc etc. I was so stressed by it all I went from being an Oxbridge sure thing with a scholarship to the school, to it not even being clear if I'd get any As at A level.

I was the classic bright, awkward girl and I was massively out of my depth, only the very pretty, strong-willed girls really thrived. And yep, it did scar me for life.

By contrast I found my girls's school, despite being notoriously competitive, much more supportive. I had a niche there and I was very content. Despite leaving when I was 16 some of the girls I met there are still great, great friends. Eccentricity and being clever was encouraged, whether or not you were popular with boys was irrelevant (they weren't there to impress) so the girls were less inclined to suppress their natural selves and become identikit boy-pleasers. As motherinferior says, power of wimmin Grin

I'd happily send my daughter to an all-girls. I'd happily bomb the boys school I went to.

Bonsoir · 10/12/2013 17:27

I went to a girls' pre-prep (that took boys, but they were definitely in the minority) and prep, and then to a girls' grammar school. And then moved abroad when I was nearly 13 and went to a mixed school.

I would never want my DC to attend single-sex schools. Life is co-ed and while that may sometimes be inconvenient, it is an inconvenience they need to learn to manage.

MumpiresRedCard · 10/12/2013 18:41

Good post whatho

MmeCinqAnneauxDor · 10/12/2013 18:41

Marking place to come back and read later

MiaowTheCat · 10/12/2013 18:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BackforGood · 10/12/2013 18:56

I went to an all girls grammar, and it was a fab time. Really enjoyed school and came out with loads of confidence and a belief I could do whatever I set out to do in the world. The school was on the same site as the boys' equivalent, and a lot of the clubs / music / societies etc were mixed from what would now be Yr9.
All my dc go to single sex schools - it wasn't a thing I was particularly looking for, but I certainly don't see it as a negative - it's just they were the best schools for my dc at the time we were putting our preferences in. They are all fine.
All of them mix with all sorts of people from outside school though - I think that's important.

looseleaf · 10/12/2013 18:57

It was great at mine but slightly less good by sixth form as too intense IMO being together mostly for 7 years.( A tenth of my year ended up anorexic and I wonder whether was too intense a 'bubble' as boarding). everyone thrived academically and did better than those who left for mixed schools in the sixth form . I think I'd go for single sex for DD if a school suited her but day school to give more balance.

looseleaf · 10/12/2013 18:59

Just read Whatho's post which rang totally true and a shame as saw similar happen with several friends

WhomessweetWhomes · 10/12/2013 19:00

I liked it at the time and I did well academically, but I don't think it did me good as a person, especially as I also had no brothers. I increasingly think that it's unnecessary segregation and wouldn't choose single sex schools for my own dc. Also I am a secondary teacher, so I see it from that side of the fence too.

nooka · 10/12/2013 19:11

I went to mixed (state) primary, then an all girls GDST, and then did sixth form at a boys boarding schools with girls in the sixth form (now completely co-ed). dh had a similar sort of education, but didn't change at sixth form. My children both go to the (same) co-ed school and one of the reasons we moved was to avoid the single sex schools that were the only real choices where we used to live.

I don't have particularly bad memories of my single sex school, I think it was generally quite good, but I really don't like segregation. Looking at my children whilst ds probably wouldn't care if there were no boys around dd has always had both male and female friends and I think it's a bit odd to assume that the only friend options come from your own sex. I certainly made friends more easily with boys than girls once I had them as an option.

The main thing I noticed changing school was that many of the boys were very silly in class, behaving in a way that I wouldn't personally have dreamed of. However I think that was more to do with boarding and the huge sense of privilege they had. I don't recall any great 'sisterhood' stuff at my girls school, although we were taught to expect to excel which was obviously very positive. Still my dd is currently top of all her classes and has no problem competing with boys (or girls). We don't really have the issues with subject choices as our curriculum has less choice (math and science are compulsory as is social studies)

nooka · 10/12/2013 19:12

Oh, and I have no life long friends from any of the schools I went to, only from university. In fact thinking about it I don't know very many people who do.

stillenacht · 10/12/2013 19:16

I went to a GDST school in South East Landaaaan. I loved it, didn't miss boys. Had loads more confidence with just girls than if boys would have been there too.

BackforGood · 10/12/2013 19:18

I have friends from school I was very close to. We don't live close (indeed, 4 different parts of the Country) but have stayed in touch and meet up when we can. I'm not young, either, so that's a nearly 40 yr set of friendships, rather than 5 or 10 Wink

and I think it's a bit odd to assume that the only friend options come from your own sex

I think it's odd to think that your only friends option comes from the school they attend. My dc all have friends from other things they do.

TheFutureSupremeRulersMum · 10/12/2013 19:27

Academically yes, socially no.

MumpiresRedCard · 10/12/2013 20:03

I think it's a bit odd to assume that just because you go to a mixed school you'll have opposite sex friends.

lovelyredwine · 10/12/2013 20:07

I loved it and think it was good for me. I would send my dd to one without hesitation.

NomDeClavier · 10/12/2013 20:19

Great for 3 years, shit for 4 at the same school. I would think carefully about the personalities of my DC before deciding though because my DBro and DSis loved their single sex schools and struggled when they moved to co-ed. I should have moved to co-ed at 6th form because I find all female competition very hard to handle and think competing with boys would have been healthier for me.

merrymouse · 10/12/2013 20:20

Loads of people still in touch from my old school, (girl's school 1980's) but then many (a majority?) had been at the same school from 7-18 and then went on to do similar things post school. Not so much a case of staying in touch, more there never being a reason to not be in touch.

WhatHo · 10/12/2013 20:40

looseleaf and to be fair at my highly competitive girls school anorexia was rife (not so much at the boys school, probably because boys don't fancy stick-thin girls) so it wasn't perfect. However most of the girls stopped being anorexic at university - it was another form of school-based competition.

Might be worth putting in the kitty though - if your child looks like she could have food control issues, a single sex school might be less good for her.

whendidyoulast · 10/12/2013 20:56

One provable benefit of girls' schools for girls is the likelihood of them taking (and excelling at) subjects that are conventionally seen as male.

idiuntno57 · 10/12/2013 22:09

went to a very academic all girls school.

Good education but most of us went a bit nuts boy wise when we left. And we are a bit screwed up about being failures for not being PM/running a multi national company/ respected author etc. etc.

Would I send a daughter there? Absolutely not.

MumpiresRedCard · 10/12/2013 22:10

This thread so useful to me (im not the op)
Whatho, my mixed private school was about 75% boys. Some parents (and some teachers 0_o ) thought back fondly to the halcyon days of all boys. looking back, whole environment made you feel apologetic for not being a boy. Only the really pretty girls were not just noticed but...allowed?
There was bitchi g.
There was bullying.
There was a bit of anorexia too.

MumpiresRedCard · 10/12/2013 22:12

Also, i kind of laugh (sorry) at posters saying things like i think i would have suited male friends.
School wasnt like work. If u talk to a man he responds!
Whole situation so divisive in my mixed school.
Didnt like it at all.
I think it is a good idea to do everything differently.

mrsmuffintop · 11/12/2013 03:55

I went to a co-ed school and it scarred me for life. Sexual harassment was absolutely rife and sometimes tipped over into sexual assault. Girls who sexually serviced boys were "frigid", while girls who did were "sluts". The expectation by Year 11 (age 16) was that everyone was in boyfriend/girlfriend pairs and would be having regular sex. The boys dominated the classroom. The girls would pretend to be stupid and snigger at the boys' loud and disruptive antics, which were tolerated by teachers with a "boys will be boys" attitude. The presence of boys certainly did not diminish the bitchiness, which was hideous.

I don't think that these attitudes have changed since I was at school. I think that the raunch culture and the availability of pornography amongst modern school children probably actually increases these problems, but perhaps they are more hidden due to lip service to equality.

My DD attends an all girls school. She may encounter sexual harassment and sexual discrimination elsewhere, but at least school is a safe place.