For those who did, do you think going to an all girls school was a good thing for you...?

[BraveMerida]

...or did it scar you for life ? Why?!

And would/did/do you send your dd to one?

just interested.

[Elibean]

I went to one and quite enjoyed it. Not hugely bitchy, quite nurturing.

But we were all boy mad and thought of boys as another species, which really didn't help later on...

dd1 thinks on balance she wants a co-ed secondary (her primary is co-ed), as long as the boys are reasonably well behaved

[AmandaCooper]

Hard to say isn't it. Academically I did extremely well at my all girls school. I've come out confident and feminist. I don't feel I've had any problems relating to boys/men. It was a cliquey and bitchy environment yes but I can't say whether it would have been different in a mixed school. It might have been different but worse. I'm glad I don't have a DD as I wouldn't know what to do for the best either.

[Lovecat]

I went to a co-ed school and I have to say that some of my friends who went to the convent (girls) school instead were just WEIRD about boys (although possibly that was because they went to a convent school rather than the local Catholic comp...).

I was tormented by the girls in my co-ed because I was totally unfashionable/unsexual/uninterested in boys except as people to talk to about sci-fi - which they viewed as 'slaggy' behaviour (omg, she talks to the boys! She must be a slut!), so I think that the notion that girls are bitchier in single-sex environments doesn't always hold water.

DD goes to what was until recently a single sex school and I've noticed a distinct change since they allowed boys in. Her class is/was full of opinionated little girls who are incredibly competitive and noisy. Since the arrival of the boys, I have noticed (I volunteer in the class and on school trips) that the boys are the only ones with the hands up. No girl will speak if the boys are talking and DD has come home spouting shite along the lines of 'boys are better at maths/science/sport than girls'. She's not got this from the teachers, so it must have come from the children in her class. The boys get more attention because they are louder and in one case, nastier - one little sod has been on almost permanent warning for his threats to 'get' the girls if they score better than him in tests - he also tells them to shut up and how stupid they are . The teachers do not seem to be able to manage their behaviour, having been used to girls only, and it's not a happy environment. Perhaps we've just been very unlucky, but we are looking to move soon and I will be looking for another all-girls school where DD isn't afraid to draw attention to herself by putting up her hand in class.

[AbiRoad]

I went co-ed. My DDs go to an all girls school, which is the best school for them in the round out of the options available taking into account lots of factors, but my ideal woudl be if it was co-ed. Not sure if this is just becuase it is what I am used to. Reading this with interest. Currnetly they love their school and there have not been many friendship issues. Apart from DH we are an all female household which makes it a bit more concerning as they dont come across boys that way either (i.e. friends of siblings). As it happens, most of my good friends who we see a lot at weekends and holiday with also have mainly girls. So I think as they get older we need to look for opportunities for them to interact with boys in a normal way. Their school has a linked boys school and I think there is increased interaction as they get older. Would also talk seriously to them about changing schools to co-ed for 6th form. My friends who went to all girls schools do not seem scarred by the experience and have chosen to send their children to single sex schools which I find encouraging.

[Marmitelover55]

I went to an all girls school and vowed I would never do this to my children. DD1 is now in year 7 at an all girls comp, as I think it's the best school in our vicinity . I will think again when it comes to sixth form though and if she wants to change will give her that opportunity (that I didn't have).

[MummyCoolski]

nomorecrumbs my girls' school was a mixed-ability state school rather than grammar or independent and it still felt that we were freer to excel than friends from co-ed schools, though of course I can't say for sure that was the only difference.

[HowardTJMoon]

Both my DS and DD go to single-sex secondary schools from a mixed primary but that was almost by accident. The only mixed school that they would likely have got places in was academically mediocre, did not impress on the open evening and is difficult to get to from where we live. By contrast both the single sex schools had good reputations from the parents of children I knew had gone there.

So far at least I think it's been the right decision for both of them. They both have friends of the opposite sex outside of school, they're both enjoying school and they're both doing well. DD's only been there a term so she's still settling in but she hasn't mentioned any issues over bitching or cliques. Thinking about it she had more problems with cliques at her primary school.

I'm not convinced that going to a mixed school helps at all with being more comfortable around the opposite sex. I'm a man and I went to mixed schools. I was absolutely rubbish around women until I was late teens / early 20s.

[smokeandglitter]

I was at a co-ed school. Most of the girls/boys I knew that were at single sex schools didn't have much of an idea at all about how to interact with boys whereas most of the co-ed girls just acted normally around them - we saw them every day!

I'm not sure where this obsession with girls being distracted by boys comes from? I certainly did not sit in class staring at my male classmates dreamily and as for 'loud obnoxious' boys distracting the girls and not giving them any peace that is both a stereotype and demonstrating the teacher is not controlling the class, surely?

My co-ed state school didn't seem to gender stereotype really. We were all encouraged to choose what we enjoyed and were good at. It had rubbish pastoral care though and I had a very unhappy time there due to this. However I am very glad I went to a co-ed school and refused to go to the girls school offered, I have some very close male (and female) friends still from school.

I do agree with those who have said it isn't a very natural situation so I personally would avoid it where I could.

[sugarfoot]

My daughters (now at/post uni) both went to single sex secondary schools. Elder one had only girls as friends until she moved to co-ed sixth form. She flourished there but I don't think it would have suited her earlier. Younger daughter stayed in single sex through sixth form; she has had huge numbers of male and female friends throughout. Both formed very strong female friendship groups that are still in touch. I would say of girls we knew that went to co-ed secondaries, they were much more concerned with looks, clothes and make-up on a day-to-day basis, and they don't seem to have kept up with friends from school (or had such strong supportive friendships during teenage years).

[aciddrops]

It made me very socially nervous of boys for years afterwards. Apart from that, it was good. My advice would be to encourage after school activities with mixed sex groups.

[VelvetStrider]

I went to an all girls school from years 7-11, then transferred to an all boys school for sixth form along with maybe half a dozen other girls.

The girls school was good on the whole, and socially they linked with the boys school for exchange trips, drama performances etc. However it did make socialising with boys a bit novel and unnatural, like they were a strange other species.
Sixth form in the boys school was fantastic!! 16-18 is the age when you want to be around boys, and my grades didn't suffer at all. I loved those two years! The only drawback were the younger boys at the school - not being used to girls, they used to shout all sorts of offensive crap at us as we walked around the school.

[Thants]

I hate when people say girls school are more 'bitchy' it's sexist crap. There is not more bullying in girls schools!
I went to a girls school and it was fine. I am still very close friends with a 4 of my friends from school.
However I would not send my child to a single sex school. I do not believe it is beneficial to segregate children be that because of sex, religion or class and wealth. I think there should be no single sex, religious or private and selective schools.
Separating boys and girls in school creates the idea that there are fundamental differences between men and women that simply don't exist, so it perpetuates sexist ideas.

[nomorecrumbs]

I agree with most of what you say Thants and it's great you had a positive experience of single-sex education, but this thread shows that not everyone did. We're not saying that girls-only schools are more bitchy, but the fact remains that bullying is potentially rife in any school, regardless of its set-up.

For some girls, being educated with boys would have afforded some relief from the constant scrutinisation of everyone else's appearance (I know I would have been far more comfortable hanging out with boys).

You're so right that children shouldn't be segregated in their formative years. Workplaces aren't, so why should schools be? Ridiculous to have them grow up in certain groups and then try and knock down all those barriers at 18.

[Seeline]

I went to an all girls grammar in the 70's/80's and loved it. I had a good social life outside of school and mixed with boys of all ages through youth groups, church activities, guiding/scouting activities and music and drama groups. I had school friends and friends from outside school. I settled quite happily at Poly and didn't find the co-ed environment strange. What I did find strange was the reaction to my maths and physics A levels - which I apparently couldn't have because I was a girl! I'd had no similar views at my school.
My ds goes to a boys school, and I will certainly be looking for an all-girls school for my DD.

[Talkinpeace]

I did. It was awful. I'd never consider single sex for my kids

[MumpiresRedCard]

Have been to two mixed schools and like lovecat mentioned earlier, it's not like you could just suddenly start talking to the boys without that being misconstrued as forward or 'she fancies {insert}' cue much gossip. I just kept to my gang of female friends (both times).

But people seem to believe that it's all so healthy! that there are boys and girls developing wonderfully 'real' platonic friendships. hmm.

[ipadquietly]

No, absolutely not, especially as I was an only child. I thought boys were a different species. Ridiculous, unnatural way of educating people to live in a society made up of both genders.

Got to uni and found I much preferred male company and haven't had a really really close woman friend since.

[DalmationDots]

I loved it and I sent my DD to one!
Both my school and, later on, my DDs school were 'town' girls schools and had good links to local boys schools. So they were very much in the real world and boys were not alien. As a child I did things outside of school like sports clubs with boys, same for DD.

I think all girls encourages the confidence in girls without (as sadly this still happens in society) them being over shadowed or knocked down by boys.
Similarly, both myself and DD I would say grew up with a sense that girls can do any career and there are no 'boy or 'girl' jobs.
I like the fact all girls means there are more girls in each year group and hence more options for friends. This meant both me and DD found really close friends who we clicked with and have remained lifelong friends.
I feel the education was tailored more to how girls learn and the atmosphere was such that there was no stigma about working hard or being geeky (both very academic schools though that I've experienced).


It may be a case of I don't know any different, but I really believe it worked for me and for DD. I didn't specifically rule out co-ed, more just chose the best possible schools for DD (and DS) which both happened to be single sex.

[MumpiresRedCard]

Thinkingback therw were boys i hesitated to spwak out in frnt of. Most girls schools have a uniform no?
The one im conaidering does.uniform+no boys = less ptessure apparance-wise.

Risk of bullying in all schools.

Think tbh this thread has made me more sure of girls schools.

The perceived advantages of mixed are tenuous ime.
I was slagged by mainly boys now i think of it. I was toosmall, i was always complaining (??) The ggirls were my friends. One girl tried to bully me once and i told her to fuck off and she left me alone. A boy in my year gave me a "dead leg" once and i was limping with the pain. Asshole.

[moonbells]

I was a very geeky, introvert and academic child, going to school in a northern WC area.

I went to both a co-ed comp (11-13) and a girl's comp (13-18) and though I found the academic competition much better at the co-ed in my favourite subjects (sciences), I was happier at the girls' as I could study my favourite subjects without feeling like the odd girl out. I hated the more physical bullying at the mixed school, and could largely ignore the taunts at the girls'.

I am firmly of the belief that single sex education benefits most children, boys perhaps more in primary and girls definitely in senior.

If I'd been a different character, one who wasn't so thick-skinned? Dunno.

[Essexgirlupnorth]

I did and think it was good for me. Went to a mixed primary. Don't really have any male friends now though and was very shy around boys.
It was very bitchy and got bullied but think I would have at a mixed school too.
Would send our dd but not an option where we live at the moment but she is only 9 weeks!

[merrymouse]

I think it's difficult to tell because in this country single sex school tends to mean private or grammar school.

[Talkinpeace]

merrymouse
most catholic schools are single sex
and outside London they are pretty non selective and not particularly catholic

[motherinferior]

I would have preferred mixed, but it wasn't a deal-breaker for me compared with some other things; and in fact DD1's girls' comp (mixed in the sixth form) has worked very well for her. I agree with WF that it's sisterly and supportive. Has taught her a lot about female solidarity and the power of wimmin