It gets better, the teacher who forget to tell me that DS had broken his arm has allegedly been telling him that he is...

[dejags]

pathetic!!!

DS1 is four years old, when I came home tonight, he told me that his teacher had called him pathetic today.

He said that he tried to tell her that he had finished all his tables and that in return she told him that his work had been pathetic.

I don't know what to do. Knee-jerk reaction is to rip her head off for belittling a four year old - my second thought/reaction is that he might have made it up. DH and I discussed it and both of think it's odd because it's a word rarely used in our house. DS1 told me this very matter of factly and when I asked him about it later he reiterated the story with no malice or anger and with no variation on what he had told me originally.

After DS broke his arm and nobody bothered to call me (I arrived to fetch him at 1.30 to find him nursing a green stick fracture), I wrote a letter of complaint. The teacher has subsequently been sickeningly sweet to me, but DS has been complaining more and more that he hates school and doesn't want to go in the mornings which is a huge change.

When I asked his teacher why she didn't call me after DS broke his arm, she denied that he was in pain (he told me that it was exceptionally sore). So I have no reason to think she would be honest about calling him pathetic.

How can I find out the truth? (God I am so angry)

Quick update - He was off school for a school outing today. I took him myself so I know he didn't have to spend much time with the teacher.

I am seeing her tomorrow so will update then.

good, hope it gos well

I would personally not be happy and go and have a word, pathetic is not a word that a four year old uses all the time etc or understands.

Its really been a rough new year for you school wise.

Oh teachers can say all sorts of things to children. I do sometimes wonder why some of them do it when they clearly don't actually like working with children.

DS1 was only a little bit older than dejags son, when he called DS2 something in Greek (they learn at school) We were at MILs at the time and she overheard and went absolutely ballistic. He had called DS2 'stupid' but in the sense of 'retarded' so not swearing but definitely very insulting and not a word he should know. After carefully talking to DS! (who knew it was a 'bad word' but not exactly what it meant) it turned out his greek teacher used to call them it if they weren't doing well! I complained, she didn't return at the end of term - not sure if it was connected though

So, I wouldn't be quick to dismiss it as something misheard (pathetic to good effort doesn't sound right to me either) some people just can't handle the stress of 30odd little kids.

Hope you get this sorted Dejags.

I'm so sorry that your gently little boy is getting the thick end of things from this teacher. That they didn't his broken arm is horrendous and then to try and cover up is even worse.

I was bullied by a couple of teachers in a couple of different schools and it made my school years awful. Could you get your son moved to a different teacher in the same school - personality clashes happen and there should be some way of it being dealt with in the school - what processes have been put in place to make sure they don't miss a broken arm again?

I hope your meeting goes well and you get out of it a satisfactory solution for your DS.

Teachers point of view ( although I teach 7 - 8 year olds).

The broken arm incident is terrible - you were totally in the right to complain and I'm sure the school knows this.

As for the 'pathetic' incident I would tread cautiously. I cannot understand why a teacher would say something like this and children can get mixed up / mishear comments etc. If it was a parent of a child I taught I would appreciate them coming to me first and giving me the opportunity to respond/ explain.
If the teacher does not deal with the issue then go to the head but give the teacher a chance first. If the head has had other complaints about this particular teacher then it will help him/her to build a picture and if not then he/she will recognise it as a clash with your child and put in some strategies to deal with the problem.

I find it hard to believe that a teacher could get away with this sort of behaviour these days - I frequently have up to 3 or 4 other adults in the room with me, I observe other teachers as part of my management role and our head often pops into the classroom unannounced. I do work in a very well run school though so maybe it is different elsewhere.

Thanks for all your responses .

Well I saw the teacher today for a regular Parent/Teacher session. She was complimentary about DS's progress, she says he is doing well on all fronts with the exception of a few minor things. Essentially he is a chatterbox and doesn't finish his work on time a lot of the time (I am not worried about this as he is only four years old fgs).

I quite casually threw the fact that he had made this allegation into the conversation and she did not deny it. She is a fairly old fashioned teacher and I think she thinks it's okay to say these sorts of things to children. I made it quite clear that I thought that this sort of negative language is appalling and she just sort of murmured that she could see that.

I am just glad that school holidays start tomorrow (we are in SA) and that he only has one week left of school after hols before we leave on our trip.

I am going to have a meeting with the department head about this but to be honest I just feel so damn deflated. I am not sure it will make any difference. If he was going to have to endure the rest of the year with her, I would have insisted he be moved to another class.

so not particularly satisfactory at all

Sorry to hear that the cow did say that; how dare she? I would definitely report her to the head asap. God knows what else she's saying to your ds or other students.

how dare she!..old fashioned!..why not just get the cane out and be done with it
and then to not even properly apologise..god im fuming for you!

Definately go to someone more senior. She should not be allowed to talk to the children like that.

Well done for confronting her about it - that can't have been easy and it sounds like he is doing well despite her negative comments so some good news

I don't know of any four year olds who aren't chatterboxes and don't really agree with a formal approach to learning at that age anyway - they are too young to be sat at desks doing 'work' and should be discovering and learning in a practical setting (sorry I'm going off on one now!!)