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Original poster

Bullying - is this it? What should I do?

35 replies

Bugsy2 · 08/03/2006 20:02

DS is 6.5, bit immature & completely untough & unsavy.
He says he is being repeatedly kicked under the table by a couple of children. His shins are covered in bruises.
I sent a note in with him today, outlining what he told me about the kicking. No response back from teacher.
I am thinking of going in to speak to her tomorrow. I feel very protective of DS obviously - but don't want to appear over anxious & fussy.
Do you think this is worth seeing his teacher about? Is it bullying - how concerned would you be?

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Original poster
Bugsy2 · 10/03/2006 12:17

It seems bad to me on a number of points.
Firsly, she was mis-informed
Secondly, why was she having a go anyway, I asked DS's teacher to deal with the situation & she told me that she would.
Thirdly, if my DS had been at fault, should he be publicly told off like that?
I am really, really angry about this. The more I think about it the more outraged I am. I was very careful to be tactful and say that I wasn't sure if this was hi-jinks, messing around - I didn't point any fingers at specific children even though DS had given me names & I thought that I had agreed with DS's teacher what course of action should be taken.

Normally calm Bugsy has foam flecks at the corner of her mouth!

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Freckle · 10/03/2006 12:27

I'm totally appalled at this. That dinner lady should be hauled over hot coals for this. It is not her place to discipline a child, unless it is something happening in front of her in the playground. And to do it publicly is absolutely disgusting.

I wouldn't bother with a note. I would write a letter to the head and copy it to the chair of the board of governors.

Socci · 10/03/2006 12:42

Angry ohhhhhh that's not on - she's probably made the situation 100 times worse. Do you think it would be a good idea to speak to the head?

Original poster
Bugsy2 · 10/03/2006 12:48

I sent my written objections to the situation in to the teacher and I'm going to see her this afternoon. If I still feel that the situation is not going to be, or has not been resolved to my satisfaction - then I will talk to the head.
Urgh, feel like a relatively small problem, that should have been really easy to deal with has now turned into some massive issue. Sad

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Marina · 10/03/2006 13:57

Well, but that is entirely their fault not yours bugsy. They are the ones who have not reacted well or sensibly to the situation. Best of British this afternoon.

getbakainyourjimjams · 10/03/2006 14:54

The dinner lady did what??????? That is appalling!!! Your poor ds. Would be very cross and stern with the teacher.

grumpyfrumpy · 10/03/2006 15:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Earlybird · 10/03/2006 15:57

Why would the dinner lady even be told about the issue? Is it staff gossip, or was she perhaps, asked to keep an eye on your son and misunderstood? A simple, but worrying problem has taken on a life of it's own. So sorry for you and your son. Hope you get some satisfaction - and an apology - from the school.

Bink · 10/03/2006 16:16

I too think the dinner lady episode is shocking. So shocking, of course, that I bet it's going to be denied - as in you'll be told your ds made it up. Do you have anyone (another dinner lady, an older child) whose word can support your ds's? Without that, it may be difficult to take that part of the story any further - so perhaps it would be best to focus on the kicking/shoving, and the ganging-up by other children, that you yourself have witnessed.

I'm very interested to hear how the school are taking this. Do let us know, please?

Original poster
Bugsy2 · 10/03/2006 20:30

Ah, Bink - you were spot on. DS's teacher came rushing out and accosted me this afternoon before I even had a chance to go & talk to her.
Full of apologies, "huge misunderstanding", the dinner lady hadn't told DS off, she had told the whole table off. I was definitely being pacified. There is no way DS could have subtly changed the dinner ladies words to imply himself. He is 6 and about as subtle as a brick. He has the lying skills of a 3 yr old.
The teacher went on to say she had had a big chat with DS, reassured him that he had done the right thing, that no one was cross with him etc etc. She also said she had spoken to the group involved and one of the boys had owned up to kicking him and she had told them that this must never happen again.
So, the way I see it is - a mistake was made and the teacher obviously feels a bit bad about it all. I desperately wanted to ask that the dinner lady should apologise but flunked out, because I wasn't sure if it would make the situation worse. I am left neither pleased or reassured by the way the incident is handled but I am reasonably confident that DS is unlikely to be kicked again.
What a palaver (sp?) - feel exhausted by it all!
Thank you for all your support & advice - really appreciate it.

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