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Original poster

Gifted Children

42 replies

figroll · 28/02/2006 17:14

I know that many people do not like others to discuss this, but how do you tell if your child is gifted? My dd is 10, born in August and she seems exceptionally clever. She could get 95% in a year 6 maths Sats paper when she was 9.5. She started talking when she was 9 months (and I mean talking). She can read very fluently and will read quite adult books. She reads all the time, everything and anything. She is very curious and interested in everything - she is also very demanding and constantly wants to play games, or read with me or even do maths! She moves constantly too - wriggling, writhing, standing on her head, doing handstands whilst watching tv, etc.

It isn't really a subject that I wanted to bring up at school because people think that it is odd to feel that your child is gifted, they also think you are boasting. Is this odd behaviour or do all children do this? I don't have anyone to compare her to.

OP posts:

Freckle · 10/03/2006 12:59

We tried NAGC Explorers twice and vowed never to return. It was full of precocious children and their incredibly pushy parents. Feel safe in saying that as you are not in Kent and therefore unlikely to have been one of them! Some of the children just dominated everything and nothing was done to ensure the less pushy (but just as bright) children got a look in. Not for us.

I don't know much about NAGTY, but have looked at their website and it looks pretty interesting.

clerkKent · 10/03/2006 13:07

Frankly our experience of NAGC was somewhat similar - precocious kids had formed a clique and dominated everything. Pushy parents were less of a problem. DS was only moderately interested, and DD hated it.

trace2 · 10/03/2006 13:24

can i ask what your dd and ds, was doing at 3 or 4 years, as ds is 4 in june and we thinks he very bright, and he loves working with numbers, hes counting to over 100 and also adding and taking way,

clerkKent · 10/03/2006 13:39

I hope the others on this thread can be more helpful - I can't remember what they coudl do at a particular age . I know that DS was very quick to pick up tips on mental arithmatic from an early age (eg 17 2 is hard, but 20 2 take away 3 * 2 is much easier), and even before he could read he liked factual books more than fiction. I remember we read a whole children's encylcopaedia as bedtime stories. DD has always been more arty/creative and is always "writing books" - she staples paper together, writes the title, the contents page, the blurb - never forget the blurb - then goes on to something else.

trace2 · 10/03/2006 13:57

thank you i have just been on the website NAGC and they gave a a 90%, ds also never keeps still, and gets very bored easy

Original poster

figroll · 10/03/2006 16:33

I think you need to be careful though because all children get bored and can't keep still.

I started the thread, but to be honest since I found out that she got into a very competitive grammar school recently, I am enjoying her last couple of terms relaxing at primary at the moment.

I am a bit wary of the gifted and talented academy. She has been nominated as G and T at school, but have found that it usually involves doing lots of work at home and I am reluctant to allow this to impinge too much on family life which I value very highly.

If a child is nominated to the NAGTY how do they get there and do they have to stay there? It is at Warwick University isn't it. Not that I am suggested she will be nominated, but I am just interested - in fact, if she had to stay over night I wouldn't let her go.

OP posts:

Freckle · 10/03/2006 16:53

You don't have to go there. A lot of the involvement is online. They do offer day courses and residential course (for which you have to pay), but most of the stuff is done in the comfort of your own home - from what I can see on the website.

MrsMaple · 10/03/2006 17:39

I've found this thread really interesting. I think it's useful to think of 'giftedness' as a set of characteristics: intensity, quick memory, active brain leading to active body - all that constant jumping and leaping and squirming! - sometimes pedantic or finding it difficult to adapt to social situations.
If you're the parent of a gifted child you always runs the risk of being seen as pushy or mad, and the conversation becomes about the PRODUCT of that giftedness because it is the most tangible thing, whereas in terms of supporting and understanding your child you need to see that their mental abilities are part of their character. Phew! Does that make sense?

Original poster

figroll · 11/03/2006 11:49

My daughter was nominated for G&T (gin and tonic?) and, although she enjoyed the activity on the day, and enjoyed doing the first couple of linked activities, she started to get bored after a while. They had so many of the additional activities and they all seemed to be the same, so once she had mastered them, boredom seems to come in again.

I am worrying now about how she is going to get on at secondary school. I know that as it is a grammar, they will stretch her, but she isn't used to being stretched!! She also seems so little, but I know that there are lot of August born children.

OP posts:

mandylifeboats · 11/03/2006 12:28

clerkKent - re the making books by stapling paper, writing blurb etc, I remember my DS1 used to love doing that, he would also draw a barcode and write "a XX (his initials)production" on the back!

drosophila · 11/03/2006 19:58

All of you who have or think you have gifted children do you worry that you may not be able to have a good relationship in the future cos he or she is so far ahead of you intellectually (unless you are similar).

I have a bright DS and I suspect this may happen to me. Accademically I did not set the world on fire and I do wonder what kind of relationship we will have in the future. He already corrects my grammar and he is 6.

Mimsie · 11/03/2006 22:02

am a "think I might have" drosophila... I do sometimes worry even though I was academically a very good student...

I do see now that he's just turned 6 (last week) and really the whole of last year he is getting closer and closer to his dad. Which is great, it's beautiful to see them two talk... His dad is incredibly clever and has a very broad general knowledge. And through my own fault (what's light made of?? err... humm.... go and ask your dad!) DS chanlenges my views more and tend to go to dad for explanations. :( . Asking for the meaning of words... I am french which doesn't help... I've been in this country for 10 years, so I am not that bad but it's the fine nuances I am unsure of.

So the go and see dad are becoming more and more regular!

Am there for the emotional side of it though! I shall be the cuddly loving mum and altogether that's fine by me, so long as he doesnt start looking at me with contempt which he has done and I have had to put him right I'll be fine!

It's funny people have always told me he was a clever little boy since I can remember and I always said mmm I just dont want him to be quite as "clever" as his dad... And I got funny looks back... But it's true "clever" like I am is useful you do well at school and it's all easy peasy... You never struggle, just pass all your exams, get great marks do little work I was never bored, just thought it was all easy. "Clever" like his dad is altogether a different thing, there is a small line where you might end up recluse from your peers and that scares me! For his sake. Now I dont know where he is on this line... Still hope he's on my side!! I don't want him too clever for his own good! There is more to life, a lot more than being clever.

Sorry I have gone in a big rant! I just want him to be happy!! It's such a worry!! I might worry for nothing at all he's not much like you describe. I dont see him at all fiddly more of a starer/daydreamer, and he never picks up a pen for love or money... He just seems to be a memory bank... (which is why I say go and ask your dad because if I am not 100% sure and give a false statement... and get proved wrong... even 3 months later I will be reminded)

again really sorry about the rant, I don't know why I am even posting this I don't mean to highjack... It's just as you can probably tell there's a lot going through my mind!

singersgirl · 11/03/2006 22:24

DH and I were both academically very successful, but we're very different personality-wise; I'm a hedgehog and he's a fox.

Not sure if either DS is 'gifted', but DS2(4.5)is attracting attention for his ability at school. He is becoming more and more like me. He's very pedantic about certain things and will correct people's grammar and ask about spelling and foreign languages (eg "So-and-so says "It's yuck", but that doesn't make sense. You have to say "It's yucky". "Why does 'apple' have an 'e' on the end?" "What language do people speak in Malaysia?")

DS1 (7.5) on the other hand is a scatty, mad professor, wriggly, non-sleeping type, who is well above average but not outstanding at school. He has serial obsessive interests and scant regard for reality - he's much more like DH. I find it quite hard to tune in to his wavelength sometimes, though I had (still have) my own obsessive interests.

Sorry, that doesn't really answer Drosophila's question, but felt like a ramble of my own....

Mimsie · 11/03/2006 22:46

Right SS the point about your DS2 being pedantic. DS can be very very pedantic and I find it sort of funny DH and I are to some extent... but doesn't it scare you? I sometimes feel like saying to him "if you carry on this way you will have no friends..." Now I don't because it's hardly productive to say things like that to a 6yo... But I have had to tell him that people can say what they want... and that telling them otherwise is not your place... or when he gets frustrated with other people say that he's going to hurt their feelings etc...

Adults find it funny/cute, he does say it looking cute and gets away with it and normally the adult end up saying yes you're right... His peers however... He will end up ostracised. He is as well far far too sensible and has gained the "little old man" nick name from all the dinner ladies :(

grumpyfrumpy · 12/03/2006 18:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Piffle · 12/03/2006 18:34

Yes I have a pedant here as well. It gets wearisome and frinds stop telling him jokes as he ruins all their punchlines with his dryness :)

MrsMaple · 13/03/2006 10:30

The best way I have found of getting around the pendantry and the prickliness is humour. DS1 and DS2 have both been labelled as gifted - though in different ways; ds1 intense, active, fussy, obsessive and ds2 dreamy, alarmingly high reading age and makes weird and good connections, less able to mix and play football etc - and both have a wickedly good sense of humour if you can plug into it. They like to see things inverted, can sniff out and laugh at pomposity etc, which really helps to keep their feet on the ground and helps them to get on well with other people and makes the 'little professor' in them, much less unappetizing I think. As the academic side is covered I find I put a lot more effort into stressing kindness, thoughfulness for others etc -because they are so geared around themselves I have to keep reminding them by saying 'what did you do for someone else today?' etc.
When you get out of your depth in discussion with them, I find it very helpful to say - You know, I don't know. Why don't we look it up on the internet/ in a book? I don't think they think I'm an idiot because I don't know the answer - they don't either, and it's all about discovery for these children - well not yet, anyway!

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