"Our son got into St. Olaves (Orpington) supposedly one of the best grammar schools in the country but he is extremely bright. Even so without preparation he wouldn't have got in as things like non verbal reasoning just aren't taught at state schools."
The point is not to be taught. Ok, it's nice if you've seen one or two examples before, but if you 'get it', you get it.
" He did bond papers for 9 months but he was doing them very regularly and is highly motivated."
9 months? How many practice papers can there be....
"Olaves has a big problem with children who have been so heavily tutored they struggle with the work so unless your child is naturally academic wouldn't consider one of the super selectives. "
People do.
"Even so we are looking to take him out of the school and go elsewhere in year 9. "
Where are you planning to go?
"Exam factories don't do bright kids any favours and at the end of the day a bright child will (in theory at least) thrive academically wherever they go."
Not really true. GCSEs are very easy for bright children, and a school with many bright students should be able to take them well beyond the syllabus.
If you've been selected from the top 2% or whatever at 11, then you really shouldn't face any difficulty getting an A* in maths or whatever.
On the other hand if you only got in because of drilled learning specific relatively useless skills, such as spotting that 'kind' and 'sort' go together in a verbal skills, then you might not necessarily be hugely bright.
" Also remember it is depth quality universities look at not breadth. Cambridge will automatically interview someone with 7A*s but not someone with 12As."
Cambridge won't automatically interview or not, anyone.
" Also most grammar schools are not co-ed and many like Olaves have major issues with bullying."
Many schools have issues with bullying.