Real dilemma over schooling - not sure you can advise!

[wangle99]

I have posted before but not for a while so forgive me for repeating myself.

Last DD was being bullied by a teacher at her state primary school. I didn't know the correct procedure for complaining so we removed her. She got a music scholarship to a local independent school (Choir school) and was doing great except the travelling was getting a bit much (22 miles from home to school and back twice a day) and financially we realised we'd bitten off more than we could chew.

DD left last November and we got her into another local state that was meant to have a good reputation - she hates it, isn't getting on well, doesn't really have many friends and they don't really do much music (the least they can get away with under national curriculum).

I went to the old school (private one) to collect DD's hockey stick which we had forgotten about to be greeted by the headmaster with a letter offering DD a renewed scholarship for 85% of the fees to include music tuition in one instruction. To say I'm gobsmacked is an understatement. Even in their prospectus they say nothing over 66% will be offered.

I really don't know what to do, the thought of spending that much time in my car doesn't appeal (I have a DS age 2 as well), DD did flourish there and the ethos is wonderful. Should I just do it and put up with the driving to give her the best start? She could board but DH really doesn't want her to.

Any constructive advice, BTDT would be greatfully received.

Thanks

Sarah

Sorry forgot to add, probably wouldn't have removed her if financially it had been viable. It was the combination of the two things that became too much plus I was working more then - I have reduced what I do because that was also too much.

well if inlaws are that helpful maybe they would do the school run with your ds when he's older.

I struggle with the whole private school thing because state schools SHOULD be good enough, but am not wanting to get into one of those debates.

But your DD was so much happier there, that counts for a huge amount. That's why I said the private school.

I think the question is whether it is the driving or the financial side that made you take her out. If you really don't mind the drive, put her back. If it was a mixture then it's a different question.

Does this school go through senior school too and would the scholarship cover this - if so that's another headache less in a couple of years time.

I have one child in private school and one in state school. I wouldn't feel guilty about this if you are sure that it is best for both of them (not just that you can afford to send only one). Since the scholarship is an opportunity for your daughter alone - how will you feel in years to come, if you turn it down now?

well I would send her to the school she was happy in. What age will she be when your ds starts school? Will she still be at the music school? I am sure if your ds gets into a local shcool you would be able to double up on the local school runs. I rtemember when I was little my bros went to a prep school about 1/2 hr drive away. I used to be picked up from school, then as they finished later, we would go and pick them up. Wasn't that bad.

PLEASE send your kid where she was happy.

Sorry not read all the thread, but I agree with crunchie....send her where she was happy. I have dd aged 9 and we moved her school when she was 6 from up north to London, we were very lucky and she loved the new school but I remember the fear I had the day she started the new school (both state schools)and for it not to have worked out for you and your dd really is so sad. The journey each day doesn't sound too bad, we couldn't get into the school we first wanted in London and had to go out of catchment at the time I couldn't drive so 2 buses there and 2 back twice a day took up an hour and half(on a good day) of my day in total and we were only 2 and half miles from school....thats london traffic for you! She is obviously very bright if they are offering her 85% scholarship (we looked into private and haven't found anywhere that would offer that much!) surely if she is happier she will do better at school? and when ds starts school could the in-laws do his school run if its local? sorry if i have repeated anyone elses suggestions

Thank you for your thoughts and comments.

It really is a hard decision and has been going around in my head all weekend!

Am going to email the headmaster in a moment and ask if there are a) any parents that would lift share from this direction or b) any parents this way who would be interested in a minibus.

Am also going to ring the local bus companies to see if they do hires to any of the other local independent schools that perhaps DD could go on.

Also going to see if anyone wants to take her on any day!

I think it's worth it to try and find a solution.she could weekly board if she's a bit older.