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parent consultations - feeling low

33 replies

Katherine · 13/11/2003 09:33

I've just been to my first parent evening/ consulation for DS (5). He has been at school since January and I thought he was doing pretty well - not brilliantly, but well enough.

However his teacher described him as immature, bottom of the class, struggling to keep up, too quiet.... etc etc and said they have put him with the new reception children when he should be year 1 now.

On the one hand it is no surprise to me that he has more in common with a child born in September than one born in April as he was born mid-August so is more or less the youngest in his year and he was 5 weeks early. So I am happy enough with his progress I supose. Its a system problem rather than his problem.

But I am worried. Will he catch up? In a small village school where 3 classes are put together its easy to be flexible with him but what about later on? And I'm worried about how he feels about it all although he's showing no signs of being upset. And I'm worried that he's already been labelled as struggling and that this will stick with him.

Most of all I feel that the school system has let him down. At the moment they use a cut off point 1st Sept, to decide what year a child should be in but children vary so much. The teacher said it was just a shame he didn't hang on a couple more weeks as then he'd be fine. I think that there should be a grey area, from say July to October, when parents can choose which year their child enters so that if they feel its best, a child can be held back and stay in this position throughout their school career.

I'm probably worrying unecessarily - after all he's right at the beginning and has all the time in the world to learn but how should I handle it. Do I need to do more work at home with him to help him catch up? I prefer to let him play at home as he does enough learning at school. So do I just ignore it and wait and see?

Just needed a bit of a rant really.

OP posts:
Jimjams · 13/11/2003 18:15

katherine- some schools are open to whole years being repeated. I'm sure this will happen with ds1 - either reception or year 1.

Droile- the school may be coming under pressure from the LEA. The LEA are not happy that ds1 is only going part time (I had a huge row with the head of pre-school services about this- actually I didn't she rang me and started screaming down the phone at me "what A wants is to be in school full time like all the other children"- well I soon put her right) I did hear via the nursery that the LEA have put the school under quite a lot of pressure to get ds1 in full time by January- in fact his original statement said he would be full time since January. The school told them to get stuffed- BUT it may well be easier for them to do that than usual as it is in a different LEA.

codswallop · 13/11/2003 18:17

ds1 is Augsut the 8th and did half days for the fist term. ds2 is september the 5th!! what a difference.

ds1 was def very tired at school - maybe that is why yours is so quiet or uncompetitive?

hmb · 13/11/2003 18:23

Re the repeating years idea. I can see that this can be a very good thing for some children, and I considered doing this with my ds. As things happened we didm't need to do it, but I did consider it. Before you make this choice, find out what will happen when your child goes into senior school. I have read reports of children arriving and being put into year 8, bypassing year 7. To my mind this would be a nightmare as so much of year 8 is based on year 7. so my advice would be check out what your local secondary school's policy is before you do this.

codswallop · 13/11/2003 18:24

I repeated year 7 equivalent and was notpleased..think it was the right thing tho

kmg1 · 13/11/2003 18:47

In our school they have a very flexible policy about repeating years. DS1 has a child in his class who is definitely 'statistically' in the year above, and it's not a problem to anyone - she seems very happy in his class and is doing well. In ds2's reception class there is boy (SN in this case) who is 'statistically in the year above'. Last year he did half nursery and half reception, this year he is full time in reception.

dinosaur · 13/11/2003 18:49

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Clarinet60 · 13/11/2003 19:01

I know, popsycal. 80% of our friends are teachers and all except one think we are doing the right thing. I don't know why we seem to gravitate to teachers - it just seems to have worked out that way.

Clarinet60 · 13/11/2003 19:03

That may be right, jimjams, it may well be the LEA. They can also turn themselves inside out and you-know-what too.

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