Am not one of those mothers standing at the school gate..... help!

[TambaTheDragonSlayer]

Ds1 srarted school nursery this week, just afternoons. I was looking forward to meeting the other mums and finally making some friends! (how to admit that!}

Anyhow, getting the bus to the school there were a few people with children the same age as ds dressed in the uniform, I thought great, maybe he will have some friends live local etc..

Waiting outside the school, the parents seemed to all be grouped together looking friendly and chatting (they all knew each other as they were september starters) so I decided to bite the bullet (I am very shy in real life!) and start talking. So I said "Its xxx's first day today" to which the convo stopped and everyone looked at me... so I continued "I think im more nervous than him" to which there was polite laughter and then they carried on talking amongst themselves...

Same sort of thing happened yesterday too.

Then today i decided to try again "xxx has settled in really well" says me, in return i get polite smiles and they carry on talking.

There are 5 or so mums that get the same bus home as me and seeing as we all have buggys we are grouped in the same place on the bus, walking to the bus, they all walk in a group and I walk a little way behind them. No one talks to me on the bus either. @ mums get off at the same stop as me and we walk in the same direction although they walk together and again I am left walking a little way behind. They must only live a couple of minutes away from me.

Am I doing something wrong? Is it me - am I really not likeable? Good enough??

Is there some sort of ettique im missing???

hello

They have improved loads, Im not sure whether its because he left his old nursery (where that kids was hitting him) or because we bought him a dream catcher to stop the bad dreams. We made a big fuss of giving it to him and saying how magic it was and would keep all monsters away and he helped us hang it in his room - and the nightmares stopped! (wonder if it really is magic? ) Thanks for asking

I had the same things at DD1's snotty Sarf Landan Montessori nursery. Apparently, I was standing on the "nannies" side of the gate and of course the mummies never spoke to the nannies.

The nannies were great - really friendly, but the Mums continued to treat me like shit. Even the evil cow who was my next door neighbour.

Can you give me a clue to whereabouts you are Tamba? I'm south west Birmingham!

Im in Tyseley

Tamba - well done you for trying! It's so hard, how do reception aged kids make friends when we find it so difficult?

what about asking some of these mums how their kids are settling in...generally parents love talking about their own kids.

I found that having a birthday party for dd really helped - invited all the other kids (only 11 in the class at that point, so not too many). That way I got a little more time to talk to some of the other parents (I only pick up once a week, so it's particularly hard to make friends). I'm sure that they are probably not even aware that they are freezing you out (probably all trying to hard to be friends with the people they recognise). My dd was a January starter, and the September crowd have just arrived - actually I find it slightly daunting to suddenly have ten or so other people at the gate!

WTF happened to those school mothers over night???

I am totally bemused (in a good way)

Walking up to the nursery I spotted the woman whos DD has started the same time as my DS so i decided to go and talk to her whether she liked it or not So off i went. Walking with her she had to talk to me! But - She doesnt speak barely any english!!!! But she did smile, nod and say yes to everything I said so I think that wen well although I didnt understand anything else and have the feeling she hadnt understood a wood I said - It was nice to have some one to walk up with though and I think she felt the same.

Getting to the seating area outside the nursery some one pipes up,"theres a spare seat here" Im thinking..is she talking to me?? and she was so I sat down next to some woman whos daughter was handing out sweets to all the children and then dragged My ds of to run round the playground.

After hes gone in im walking back and hear someone shout 'hang on' and its the mother of one of the girls in dds class. She says you get the same bus as me shall we go together? So off i go! She lives 2 mins away from me and when i said i was getting off a stop early to see if the hairdressers was open she got off a stop early too and walked up with me...

Now someone please tell me WTF is going on???? IS one of them an mnner do you think and has read this and they aer making an effort of what???????

Bizarre

i bet that they are mnetters and saw your post!!

What happened? you're now not a stranger and you showed yourself willing to be friendly. so it's all your own doing!!!

Well done!

So good things do happen at the school gates!!

Now you have to invite someone roung for coffee!!

I was going to ask this mom if she wanted too but then remebered my living room was a tip and it was only the first time I had spoken to her so might leave that a while! I am shy

Tamba, go for it with the coffee.

DS1 started school on Tuesday. I was like you, determined to speak to at least one mum. Ended up speaking to about 4 . One in particular happened to be the boy that DS1 had been playing with on his first day.

This morning she invited me for coffee some time, I accepted and we shall be having a coffee on Wednesday. So if the other mum is anything like me, she will be glad you asked .

I was actually one of those people who said that I was not bothered whether anyone spoke to me or not at the school gates, but I do agree that it is nice to have someone to walk with and chat to and not have the pressure of having to become best mates.

hey, they have been watching you and have decided you look alright!

i'd take you up on the coffee offer any time. wouldn't care about the state of your living room.

I think it is about shyness - theirs, not yours. Many mums (and in my case dads) hesitate to start talking to the stranger in the playground. When the face becomes more familiar, it gets easier.