Police involvement

[MarmaladeSun]

Hi. I went to pick up my 8 year old son from school on Friday, and found to my horror that his nose was really swollen. A 10 year old boy had attacked him in the playground, unprovoked, and had lifted my sonh off his feet, flipped him upside down, and smashed his face so hard into the playground that his nose swelled up, his nose bled, apparently he vomited (but he can't remember it) and he was giddy. He screamed, but no staff came to his aid. He was only dealt with when his friends led him to a teacher. My daughter asked was I not to be called and they said no. He didn't see a first aider, and despite being excused from PE for being dizzy and sick was left unattended in the library while his class were at PE. At no point was I called to the school to pick him up. After school I demanded answers from the deputy head who tried to gloss over it (the head was off sick). We then spent 3 hours at A&E to ascertain whether he has a broken nose, but we won't know until the swelling has gone down.
This is the 3rd time in a year I have had to complain about bullying at the school. A monthago my daughter was scared to go to school after being intimidated by a group of 10.
I was (and am) so furious that I went to the police station and reported this boy for this assault. He is above the age for criminal responsibility and the police will be interviewing him tomorrow. He has been suspended before, and apparently makes a habit of punching pupils in the face.
The school don't know I have reported it to the police yet, and I am going with hubby to see the head tomorrow.
I can't believe that I send my kids to a place day in day out where they should be safe and I end up spending the evening at casualty. I know the school won't be happy but it's gone too far.

What a terrible thing to happen to your ds. I hope he's okay.
You've absolutely done hte right thing going to the police. I had a similar(ish) experience when my eldest dd was about 10 and another parents chased dd and her friend into the loos and ranted and raved and threatened to kill them because she believed they had been bullying her child. She would have assaulted them too, I believe, if the girls hadn't had the presence of mind to lock themselves into a cubicle. As it was she tried her best to batter the cubicle door down.
The (acting) Headteacher knew what had happened but didn't inform either set of parents - I found out later in the day from another source and refused to contact the police himself. Myself and the other girls mum called them.
When I questioned his attitude he said that we(parents) couldn't expect the school to guarantee their child's safety

That's really bad. My children's (normal, state) school always ring up for bad bumps and discuss whether the child is alright to carry on, and at the very least send notes home. I would have thought that was standard practice and as others have said if he was sick then they should certainly have called you and taken him to A and E. Well done for sticking to your guns, both of you.

i would get a solicitor
i would get the formal complaints policy
i would write to the education board

i think you are doing the right thing. your school has acted like a shower of shite and its completely unacceptable - maybe when someone gets a solicitors letter someone will think " fuck me ...we might need some policies and proceedures"

gosh tabitha - the school can't be expected to guarantee the safety of the children there?

Do they put that in their prospectus?

I would also go to the local papers. The more people know about this the better, then the school will be forced to take action and the result might save someone else's child from suffering a similar fate. Perhaps you could set up a parent group? Talk to some of the other parents and see if they are happy with the school, a parent pressure group can make a big difference.

Hi. Thanks so much for all your messages so far. I have to admit that at times I have panicked a bit at the thought of taking such formal action, but then what message am I giving my children if I backed down and allowed it to go unpunished? I know it's the right thing. It is a shame as I have had a good relationship with the school up until now, depsite my daughter having an incident last month. That was dealt with severely and to my satisfaction but the severity of the attack this time has shaken me to the core.
DH took photos of my son's face the evening it happened. The police have also advised me to take more when the bruising really comes out. It's starting to turn purple now.
The police were brilliant with my son. They took great pains to explain to DS that he did absolutely the right thing,and that the only way to beat bullies and thugs was to be brave as he had been and report it. If the lad admits it to the police he will probably receive a severe reprimand, if not it could go to court. DS would indeed give video evidence. I'm sure it won't go that far as the boy has admitted it to the school already.
I should know more tomorrow as the original teacher is back and so the picture will be complete and the head will make his final decision as to how long the boy's exclusion will be for. His parents will also be called in tomorrrow. No doubt I am in for some verbal at the school gates! Despite all of this the children are happy at that school. I really don't want to move them again as we only moved from Germany 2 years ago with the forces so they left the school in Germany after a year, went to the local school which was diabolical, so I moved them to the catholic school they are at now. 3 schools in 2 years! DD is due to go to high school this year so moving her now would be disastrous for her.

First of all i do hope your son is o.k
What a little thug, (the bully). I would be absolutely livid about it and for the School not to ring,give him first aid ,and leave him alone is disgraceful.
We have to trust out children with these people!

I think you've done the right thing, the Police sound great and you are sending out a fantastic message to your children , one which they'll never forget and i'm sure will carry them through many scrapes in years to come++

I am absolutely disgusted at the way your school has dealt with this, MarmaladeSun.

Any head injury, where someone feels dizzy and is vomiting is automatically a case for A&E, as they need to check for concussion etc.

You should have been rung the moment this happened.

I think you have done absolutely the right thing, and I also think that custardo is right - you need to see a solicitor, and get legal advice. And SunnyD is right as well - you should write to the Chairman of Governors to inform them of this incident, and the appalling way in which it was handled.

And you should insist on seeing the school's anti-bullying policy - there should be one in place, and parents are entitled to read it if they request to do so. If there isn't one, I would inform the education office and OFSTED, as I am sure that such a policy is now statutory.

I also think you should request to see their first-aid guidelines, as I am sure it would say that a head injury like your sons, would involve taking the child to hospital and informing the parent(s).

Hi again
Well, my son is off school today with a bad tummy. I have it too, otherwise I would suspect that it was upset at what had been going on. Mind you, it could well be the case for me too as I hate 'situations'.
The head phonedme today to tell me that he was about to phone the boy's parents and tell them what had been going on (I would have thought he would have told them sooner). He has excluded this lad for 3 days, so he won't be back til Monday.
Then when I was on my way home from picking DD up from school this afternoon the phone rang and it was the school secreatry telling me that the head had a letter for me explianing what was happening, but that the teacher had forgotten to send it home with DD! It just seems to be error after error.
Also, the police haven't been in touch with me or the school. I haven't chased it up yet as I have felt so sick all day, but I will do.
I am still as angry now as I was on Friday.
x

please keep us updated - it was sunny d who told me of the existance of police school liaison officers - please ask for yours at your local station.

I would also document everthing- with dates- of action taken by school. Eg, telephone calls dates, dates that letter went to other boy's parents etc.

Good luck. So sorry that this has happened. Well done for everything you have done so far. Schools must learn that acting fast with incidents like this should be a priority.

Hi. The story so far...
The boy in question has been excluded for 3 days,but is back on Monday. The police called on Wed night and asked me 'as the school are dealing with it, do you still want the police involved?' I was gobsmacked to say the least! No wonder people drop charges. DH phoned them back and said that as we wouldn't know for at least 4 weeks if DS nose was broken we wouldn't decide until then whether we would pres charges or not. If it's broken then this little sod has to be accountable, and if not then he needs to count himself very lucky. DH also insisted that the police tell the family this; the theory behind this is that if the lad has to wait for 4 weeks to know if he is going to be charged or not that may teach him a lesson far better than having 3 days off school! The police said they would but we have heard no more.
I think the school is taking the now though. They phoned up on Friday to tell me that DH had ripped his trousers! In actual fact the seam had come apart underneath...a cm and a half if that! As it happens I didn't get the message anyway but honestly...!
I'm sick to the back teeth of it all. it was MY son who was assaulted and yet we are now being made to feel like we have done something wrong. I hope that there are no repercussions on Monday when this kid comes back into school.
I will let you all know how it goes.

MS, sorry to hear that you feel you're being mucked around so much.
Personally, I think you should insist that charges are pressed against this boy regardless of whether your ds's nose is broken or not. I think you sound as though you feel stronlgly enough about this and tbh I think the 'actual' extent of the injuries are less relevant than what the boy actually did. I think that unless he gets a 'fright' like this now, the boy is just going to carry on bullying and assaulting other kids.
To be fair to the police, it may be 'policy' to back off a bit if they think the school are dealing with it and also the officer dealing with the case may be on days off or night shift between Wednesday and now. I'm not excusing them or anything but they may have their reasons.
I hope that you get this all resolved. I know that you and your ds have done absolutely nothing wrong but sometimes victims end up feeling this way, which is just not the way it should be just the way the system works in this country but true.
Keep us informed as to what happens.

MS, I've no doubt that the school is frightened of being accused of negligence. This is why they are now contacting you about every little thing.

It depends how far you want to take this but I agree with Custy in that you should consider speaking to a solicitor.

ditto batters' post - I am shocked that any adult in charge of children, hearing that a child was vomiting and dizzy after a head injury, would not at the very least phone the parents immediately - and also take the child to A and E.

Hi. I am glad we have carried it this far BUT I now feel that we are looked at as villains of the peace...complainers...whingers...call it what you will. Somehow...as seems to be the case these days, the perpetrator becomes the victim, and the victim is forgotten.This has definately soured my relationship with the school, which up until recently had been excellent.

Just to add...I went in with the kids this morning as I had to speak to DDs teacher, and started talking to the head...small talk really as he was in the doorway. He ignored me completely!!! Blanked me totally and spoke to the kids instead. I was literally mid sentence and he talked over me FFS.
The bully was back in today, but nothing was said or done to DS, so fingers crossed there will be no comeback.

How incredibly rude. How arrongant. In what other profession could someone get away with treating a badly served client like that?

That should say arrogant! I don't know where that extra n came from.

Hi all
I was talking to another Mum from the kids' school today, and she told me that the boy who assaulted my son has an alcoholic mother. Apparently this mother (the alcoholic) assaulted the woman's son (who is 10) one day a while ago whilst outside. She apparently ran into him with her pushbike, and then got off and laid into him because she thought he was someone else!!! The police were called (they must be well aware of this family!) but because the mother is an alcoholic they wouldn't do anything. So the likes of my son, and this other lad, and no doubt countless other kids have to be abused and assaulted because of this woman's addictions and the police won't do a thing! It's outrageous. It must be terribly hard, I know, for this lad living with a mother with those problems but I;m afraid that is no excuse for breaking my son's nose.

The police called today. We had said that if DS nose was broken we would press charges, but we wouldn't know for another 2 or 3 weeks. The police said we weren't being fair (!!!) to the boy making him sweat and worry for a few weeks and we had to make a decision now! So DH said 'fine...I want him charged'.They forced our hand. I was wary of going this far TBH as the boy's mother is apparently unstable and more than capable of attacking a young boy (see previous message) if she wants to. DD told me earlier taht she is also well known for deliberately going out of her way to hit animals in the road with her car...she kills hedgehogs as a sport!!! Luckily I drop the kids off and pick them up, so there is no chance of her getting my kids on their own. I am appalled at the state of this world.

Any more news?

maam can not blame u for getting the little s* charged
hope your ds is ok
xxx

MarmaladeSun, have only skim read this thread, so apologies it I repeat anyone else's advice.

Make a formal written complaint to the Governing Body

Keep a copy and cc it to the LEA

Did you say it was a Catholic school? cc it to the Diocesan Board.

All schools must have and publish/make available their anti-bullying policy.Ask for a copy.

Ask A & E/GP for a copy of their report/assessment of his injuries

Hope ds is on the mend soon!