Reception Children - Drop off/pick up routine

[Earlybird]

DD started reception a few weeks back. Initially most parents brought their children into the classroom, got them settled and departed. Pick up is done by the school front door where each child is handed over to their mum/carer by the teacher.

Today when we entered dd's classroom, the teaching assistant began to praise dd for being brave enough to be dropped at the door and coming into the classroom by herself. The assistant then saw me hanging up dd's coat. She proceeded to say - not to me, but in general - that she thought next week she would start handing out stars to those children who came into the classroom by themselves.

The not to subtle implication was that those parents who bring their children into the classroom need to consider stopping. I want to continue bringing dd into the classroom. We know very few children in her class, so it's the only way I have of recognising her classmates. When she speaks of Isabel or Claire or Amy, etc, I'd like to put a face to that name. I also want to see the classroom to see the artwork, etc. It's also the only chance I have of seeing the teacher for more than the 5 second handover at the end of the day.

We are usually among the first to arrive in the classroom, and I don't linger. I'm in/out of the classroom in less than 5 minutes, so don't feel that I am being disruptive in any way or stopping them from getting on with anything. Am I being a clingy mum, or is the school being a bit strict? What is your routine?

I think the interface between school & home for young children is typically stressful with parents feeling pushed out of the classroom & isolated from knowing what goes on.

Maybe the PTA is the right way to discuss the issues. Meeting other mothers is hard with all the new restrictions on circulating contact details - why not get your PTA reps to organise a parents' social event or 2 as other parents will probably feel the same as you do

I would also recommend offering to help out for an hour a week if this is a possibility for you? #obviously not something all parents are able to do but very helpful if you can!

Ds1's school has a "late evening" each Monday, where instead of being handed over at the school door, the boys are all sitting at their desks with their trays in front of them, and the parents go into the classrooms to look through the work they have done, as well as admire the artwork, star charts etc. It is also a useful time to have a word with one of the staff.

As for playdates, I would be tempted to ask your dd if there is anyone she would like to play with - at least then you can look out for one person at the end of the day (or slip a note into a bookbag).

Parents were allowed to come in and help for the first term at DD1's school. I have to say I agree with annh and flashingnose though.

I think parents need a lesson in letting go of their 'babies' and realising they are now taking that first step and they need to do it on their own.

I personally think it is OTT to be in the classroom with a reception kid (unless there is an early adjustment issue) and I really really like the concept of watching him line up outside his classroom door happily with his friends and paraphenalia

When dd started in reception last year, on day one the parents took the children to the hall and they were collected from there and taken to the classroom (a couple of tears, but those children were still taken by staff and they stopped before getting to the classroom as we could hear them talking by then). We were told that the classroom is out of bounds for parents, not quite in those words but near enough. This is before and after school. There are set evenings and school open days when parents are welcome to view, but otherwise no.

Parents are allowed into the playground to collect children, and all ages have to be collected by an adult -if not parent then the school has to be told by the parent in advance. Parents are only allowed into the playground if dropping off between 8 and 8.20am at the before school club, after that adults are not allowed in the playground - two members of staff man the gate to stop adults going in and children going out. If a parent needs to see a teacher you either telephone to arrange a time - when I have wanted time it has been possible within 24 hours - or you go to reception and speak to the secretary.

Even in the pre-reception after the first week, parents are actively discouraged from taking the children in to the classroom.

It all makes for a clear distinction from teacher controlled area - class room - to parent controlled area - outside of school.