Thanks for all the tips
Yesterday was a bit better. I went to school determined not to rise to anything and just ignore any grumpy behaviour. He did push me to the limit but I just about managed to bite my tongue and cheerily suggest activities for when we got home (to delay the inevitable TV switch on). Of course, I had the added advantage that Fridays are ds2's nursery days, so I only had to deal with one child - so this will all go to pot on Monday, I'm sure.
I let him eat the rest of his lunch when we got in (and mentally wrote off his dinner - but then at least he's eating something vaguely healthy, right?). We played a couple of games (he threw a COMPLETE wobbly when he lost at snakes and ladders - full blown sobs and beating of fists... that's GOT to be an expression of exhaustion hasn't it?!!!), read his book for school and then went to pick ds2 up.
In general, I'd say his behaviour wasn't necessarily any better, but shorter lived (the grumps lasted a shorter period of time because I wasn't rising to them, but still just as frequent) but the atmosphere in general was nicer. I guess I'm just going to have to hope that his eating sorts itself out, because I really can't be doing with the mealtime battles. It was soooo much more pleasant not trying to make him eat more yesterday evening.
ghosty: good point about the playdates. He keeps asking me (in front of their mothers) if x y or z can come home to play after school. My instinct so far is that it's too early while he's still adjusting to going to school - that he needs the downtime. So that's probably on the right track then?
Plus, on top of all this, I'm stunned at how much extra expenditure we keep being asked for. I had to buy him a pair of wellies to keep at school this weekend for a new "Forest Schools" initiative thing they're doing. And today they brought home a personal accident insurance form home with them (okay, optional - but how many people will just look at it and think "oh, better have that then") - in case they dismember themselves in the playground I can only assume?! I'd sort of hope costs would go down after the purchase of the uniform!!!
You know... I thought life would somehow get easier once he started school... lol.