Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Education

Join the discussion on our Education forum.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

does it matter if ds ends up going to a

44 replies

lewislewis · 21/08/2005 09:40

Is your kid happy at school even though he goes to a bad primary, mediocre report, a bunch of rough parents, etc? I am just wondering how much I should be worrying about this school thing.

OP posts:

happymerryberries · 21/08/2005 13:55

Would agree that it is puberty that makes the sharp drop in behavious for lots of kids. SIL teaches in primary and says that she is seeing increasing numbers of very disruptive 'switched off to school' kids.

Caligula · 21/08/2005 14:19

I remember years ago reading an article about teenagers (when i was a teenager actually) and the myth of them not wanting to conform. In fact (according to this article) they're desperate to conform, but not to their elder's norms, but with their peer-group. Even the non-conformist ones seek out other non-conformists, so they can all be non-conformists together and laugh at the other teenagers. (I remember doing so myself - laughing at the girls who wore lots of make-up and box-pleat skirts and had wedges and boyfriends with Farah's - see how old I am ). So a crucial thing is to hope they find a peer group whose values and attitudes you are comfortable with. And most teenagers get their peer-group from school.

happymerryberries · 21/08/2005 14:22

They would eat their own left leg before they would admit it, but I think you are spot on Caligula! I also think that most of them want you to stop them geiing out of control....mind you they would chew broken glass before they would admit that

hercules · 21/08/2005 14:26

I wouldnt send my kids there. I'd either home ed or struggle to send privately. Ds's name was down for a private school incase he didnt get into his excellent state school. Dd will either go to the same excellent state school or an nearly equally one closer as we've moved.

We moved house to be in a good catchment area as where we lived previoulsy had awful schools which I wouldnt have contemplated.

I agree with all hmb has said. I'm also a teacher but wouldnt send ds to the "excellent" state school I've just left as what is says on paper is not always so true!

firestorm · 21/08/2005 20:16

i really feel for you lewislewis & i hope you manage to sort something out for your ds.
2 weeks tomorrow i will begin driving my dds 40 minutes each way to an "excellent" school. my elder dd has just spent the last 2 years at a fairly rough school & although she has been ok i dont feel that she has been allowed to progress at her own rate, & you can see some of the childrens behaviour worsening as they get older. i dread to think what they will be like at secondary school age i feel that my dds deserve a lot better.
we are moving to the area that the girls will be going to school at some point. trying to sell at the moment but nothings happening i do dread the thought of so much driving every day, but they only get one chance for an education & im not prepared to waste it.

Original poster

lewislewis · 21/08/2005 20:35

Thanks for all this - nothing to add really.

OP posts:

Mog · 21/08/2005 20:48

Hmb - you mentioned home ed and I wondered what your views of it are as a teacher. Have you met any children who have been ed. at home and do you think it works?
TIA

Twiglett · 21/08/2005 20:50

Can I just add that schools can change on what seems like a knifepoint

the school DS is starting at in Sept (SE London) 3 years ago was on special measures and had a really bad reputation .. one super-head, change in staff, introduction of rules (uniform compulsory, no holidays in term-time, high behaviour expectations) and its got a cracking Ofsted report and a waiting list

please don't despair .. and judge by your feeling at the school and belief in the teachers

JoolsToo · 21/08/2005 20:51

in a word Twiglett - DISCIPLINE!

it's whats lacking in the yoof of today!

roisin · 21/08/2005 20:54

That's great news Twig. Head is SO important, esp in a primary school.

Hope ds enjoys it and settles well.

happymerryberries · 21/08/2005 21:22

I have only met one child who was home edded, and that for a very short time. She seemed very pleasent but I can't comment on how good she was at Science (my subject)

There are lots of people on MN who know about HE than I do. It can obviously work well in some circumstances. Personally, (and I stress this is my opinion) I would worry that I didn't know enough to cover some subjects at secondary level. I would also find teaching primary subjects very difficult. For my kids it isn't the answer, I realise for others it can be. I would consider it rather than send my kids to a sink school, but for me it would be a last choice rather than a first.

JoolsToo · 21/08/2005 22:03

me too hmb

misdee · 21/08/2005 22:12

i had a choice of 3 schools for my dd1. the one closest to me i wrote off straight away, i wouldnt step foot inside the school, bad reports, lots of 'rough council' kids go there (most council palces here are nice, but that school is in the midst of a bad area IYKWIM, not the kids fault). 2nd one no chance of getting dd1 in there as oversubscribed. so insetad of walking less than half a mile to school, sher is in a school approx 1mile away which is a good average school, nice mix of social backgrounds and good reports. she is very very happy there.

roisin · 21/08/2005 22:20

HE would certainly not be my first choice for secondary ed., but we don't have a great deal of choice here, and it is preferable to quite a few of the available options!

The thing I find scary is that the (secondary) school I work in is considerably better than the local sink school, but from a parental point of view I am horrified at the place!

edam · 21/08/2005 23:00

I was unfortunate enough to be sent to a rough school when I was 12. We moved house and the local school (ex-grammar) had a very good reputation. Undeservedly, it turned out. There was no discipline - in one (very new) teacher's class people were throwing chairs. It was a riot. And not in an amusing sense.

I was very, very badly bullied. Nothing in my previous school career - village school then CofE school - had prepared me for this. I had no idea that putting your hand up when the teacher asked a question marked you out. And I didn't speak like the other pupils because we'd just moved about 100 miles.

No-one at the school noticed I was being bullied - or if they did notice, no-one cared. It didn't come out until my mother went to parent's evening and discovered I'd been playing truant. The school were worse than useless about it, so I ended up escaping, thank God, to an independent girl's school. Ironically a former direct grant school (one that was independent, but took a few of the top 11+ pupils). But it had a major effect on me. Both in terms of confidence and academically. If it's a school where bullying could be a problem, or where the culture of the children is anti-achievement then I'd steer very well clear.

QueenOfQuotes · 21/08/2005 23:03

Haven't read all the replies.

But I have a very close friend who, before becoming a SAHM was a teacher. Her DS1 is starting school in September, and will be attending one the the primary schools with the 'worst' reputations in the town (not the worst - but pretty near the bottom of the pile).

She's not in the slightest bit concerned.

Caligula · 21/08/2005 23:07

Why not QoQ? Does she have inside knowledge.

I had a sort of flip side of coin experience to Edam. Went initially to an extremely rough secondary school and immediately became one of the most disruptive pupils in the class, because I was bored out of my mind. Luckily, my parents noticed and moved me pretty quickly to the only ex-grammar in the area, where I was properly taught and did well and behaved well. But if they hadn't, I would possibly have been expelled.

QueenOfQuotes · 21/08/2005 23:10

No - they've only lived in the town for 4yrs - she just feels that the choice of senior school is the most important factor and that the 'roughness' of the primary doesn't really matter (they live near the school so he'd end up associating with those children regardless of whether he went to school with them or not).

mummyoffour · 22/08/2005 00:49

my dd goes to a nursery like this believe it or not and I really want to pull her out. The parents are rude and as for the staff they are ruder than the parents. I told the head I was think of pulling her out and even she went off her head at me.........what is going on.....do we have any rights over our childrens education and our own sanity??

Flip

1 2