What exactly will happen if I go to my GP with a suspected eating disorder?

[Username90210]

I need some help with my eating but I keep putting off calling my GP.

Can anyone give me a bit of advice about what sort of questions I might be asked and what the next steps might be if I do work up the courage to make an appointment?

I've just eaten an entire cheesecake, a swiss roll and two steak pies, then thrown it all up, so I do realise I need help but I'm conflicted.

A LOT of binging/purging over the past few days. I've spent and absolute fortune on deliveroo and the inside of my mouth is very raw from all the scratchy food, and the vomiting, so I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself.

I'm not sure what the trigger was but I feel strong again today, and determined to get back on track.

I'm going back to a strict meal plan for the next couple of days...
Breakfast: porridge
Morning snack: banana and 1 slice toast
Lunch: sandwich, fruit and yoghurt
Afternoon snack: cereal bar and fruit
Dinner: sensible portion of carbs, lots of veg - tonight it'll be soba noodles with grilled tofu and vegetable kebabs.
Supper: small bowl of cereal

I'll stick to this until Friday, when I am going away for the weekend. I'm pretty confident I can eat 'normally' Fri-Sun.

Don’t despair OP, it has been a strange time of year and you are bound to have some setbacks along the way.
You have been doing so well and you will definitely feel better when you get back on the meal plan. Hope you enjoy your weekend away.

How are your doing @Username90210 ?

Mostly good. I'm eating regularly throughout the day, but still occasionally binging and throwing up in the evening. This has significantly reduced though. Last week I went 5 days in a row without throwing up, which hasn't happened for probably close to a year. I've bought myself a star chart with little smiley star stickers and it's actually really motivating. I feel like a child, but if it helps I don't care.

My weight seems to have stabilised around 37kg again - this was about what I weighed towards the end of last year before dropping down to 32kg in December just before ending up in hospital.

I'm loving having more energy, walking to work again and my brain is functioning, but I feel very uncomfortable with my current weight. I might have to start wearing a bra again, which I'm not super enthused about.

I'm determined to keep eating though, and if I can maintain this for a while, I can then think about increasing what I'm eating and gaining a bit more weight.

I know I'm still a way off a normal weight, but I don't want to rush and freak myself out too much.

One really good thing about eating regularly - I have the energy to travel to see my son at uni. Last year I was doing this monthly, but recently I haven't been able to manage it. I had a lovely weekend with him in late January, went out for dinner and lunch and ate normal meals and didn't throw up. Walked about his neighbourhood all day and didn't run out of energy. I'm visiting again in a couple of weeks.

{{{{hugs}}} What a positive update. I admit I was a bit worried you'd gone back some steps (it's not linear so it happens but still...), so this is really encouraging.

The longer you push towards health and some freedom from the ED the easier each day becomes. 5 days becomes 6, 6 becomes 10.

I gave myself rewards for goals met. A new top, a jigsaw puzzle or book. All things I deserve anyway, but I guess all tied up with the feelings of worth.

The weight thing....it's hard. I'm a healthy weight now. I struggle to understand how I just did not see how I looked to others when I was significantly underweight. I just have to accept that I was unwell and it messed with my head.

Yeah the weight thing is very strange. One part of my brain knows I'm underweight, and knows people look at me and think I look unwell. But my anorexia brain convinces me I'm fat.

I had a bath yesterday and had to get out after a couple of minutes because the sight of my fat stomach was too stressful. I could only have a bath in the first place because I've bought a full length bath pillow to protect my bony backside from the hard surface, so I realise my thoughts are not based in reality, but it's very difficult to change the voice in your head.

Your recovering body won't be your recovered body. It will take a while to settle but it's going to put lumps and bloating and what have you in places that might make you feel uncomfortable. It's temporary though.

Hi *Username90210 *

How are you doing? Thinking about you. I have a very similar story. Hope you are OK. Take care.

I'm doing amazingly well. I threw out my meal plan a fortnight ago, and I've decided to pretend I don't have an eating disorder, to behave like a normal person, eat intuitively, and hope my anorexia brain catches up.

I've been eating regularly, normal amounts or slightly more than normal. If I think about food, I eat something. It has been very stressful, and I have wanted to throw up most days, but so far I have stopped myself and it is getting easier. Two weeks without starving myself or throwing up is a miracle really. I never thought I would get here. I'm ready for ups and downs along the way but I do feel like I will fully recover.

Last night I took my son out for dinner and enjoyed the food (especially the delicious soft shell crab tempura). I didn't think about calories or fat or feel like I needed to purge.

I have stopped weighing myself everyday (down to twice a week), and I am no longer taking photos of everything I eat to overanalyze and stress about later (I have been doing this religiously for years).

The one issue I might need to address, which I am perhaps a little bit in denial about, is excessive exercise. Now I have the energy again I am walking a LOT. About 6-8 miles each weekday and more at the weekend. I am still gaining weight though, so maybe it's not such a big issue. I don't drive and I hate public transport, so walking has always been my main mode of transport. I think I'm just enjoying being able to do it again after so long where I couldn't manage it.

I spoke to my dietician about the meal plan situation and she was not at all keen on me trying unrestricted eating, but I think she's wrong - perhaps the crazy rules the healthcare professionals continue to impose is one of the reasons the recovery rate for anorexia is less than 50%?

I'm doing well - fingers crossed it continues.

That is amazing OP. Well done 🌟🌟

I really like the way you use your mindsets, like pretending, to move towards what you want, it's a superpower. I kind of agree, professionals aren't you, they won't know what works for you, (but they will have knowledge and experience that can help you and will spot patterns).
About the exercise -
You've noticed it, noticed that you are in denial, yes it does sound like a problem. One day 6-8 miles, no problem. Every day, problem.
How about days off, reset days, a lazy day. And not walking when you don't want to, when you have an injury, or when it's bad weather (being flexible). Especially a rest day where you go out for food (break any link that is making food only ok if compensated for). Thanks for updating, it's good to hear about how you are doing it and what's working well

Thanks for the update! Cheering you on.

Update...mainly for my own benefit, as reading back over this thread has been so helpful...

I currently weigh 46kg (the low end of normal for my height). I have some stupid eating disorder thoughts still, but they don't change my behaviour or make me restrict my eating like they used to.

So far today (which is a pretty typical Sunday these days) I've had a short morning walk, been out for brunch (large vegan cooked breakfast and a couple of milky coffees), done some shopping, had sushi followed by fruit salad and coconut yogurt for lunch, a very slow 6k jog, and now I'm enjoying a raspberry jelly while watching Wimbledon.

I'll go for a walk later. I am walking a LOT still, but it's good to move, and I'm still eating regularly and putting on weight.

I don't know what I'm going to have for dinner, and I'm not at all concerned about it. I'll eat whatever I want when I get hungry. Possibly mushroom stroganoff?

My son says I have speed run anorexia, I got so ill so quickly and then recovered equally fast. I do recognise that it has been a fast change, but it feels sustainable.

That sounds really positive