What happens now?

[lamacorn]

I've had an eating disorder for decades. I've never spoken to anyone about it and always denied it whenever asked.

I can't go on like this. I finally found the courage to say something. Or rather write something down.

I downloaded one of those ED questionnaires and filled it in. I then emailed it to my GP. I couldn't even face speaking to her, just sent it to her without saying anything else.

I had a call Monday and GP asked me some questions and I found it very hard to get the words out to answer. She said she would refer me to the local ED service.

What happens now? Anyone been through this and know?

I should probably have asked her but I find this impossible to talk about so clammed up.

I’ve not got an ED, but suffer from anxiety/depression for well over 30+ years on & off

From what I’ve read
I’d say please tell your dh, he probably knows anyway? Just doesn’t want to upset you bringing it up.?
Your obviously under weight over the years of him knowing you, plus the meals you have, eating outside etc.
Please don’t be ashamed of yourself it’s an illness( if it was another illness, you would tell him) there’s no difference.
Illness is illness regardless

Secondly
If you have private health insurance, this is the way to go definitely
You will have no waiting 👍 appointment times of sessions will be at time you require
Times are not always 9-5pm, some do upto 8pm
Also a lot of private consultation are now done face 2 face, which I know will probably freak you out but trust me consultant are very experienced in having a way of getting you to talk about yourself
They also are very very used to people at first not opening up, until you feel comfortable with them. They are used to clients just crying all the way through appointments.
Also going private, you will be able to choose if you want male or female, you will be able to read up on their experience plus see what they look like before you even go to see them.
I always think it’s reassuring to know what a person looks like who is going to help you

I’ve been nhs and private and in my opinion private wins hands done

@granadagirl thank you. I'm pretty sure DH is clueless. He doesn't notice anything ever.

If I contact the medical ins he will know as it's his work policy I'm on. Besides I doubt it will cover ED.

I tried private councillor/dr once not for ED but after assault.
It was a complete disaster! I thought I'd chosen carefully but the dr ended up being horrible and left me feeling like I'd been repeatedly assaulted. Kept insisting that I keep seeing him. Shouted at me several times and was mean. He was recommended by BUPA. Not taking any of their recommendations again!

I've not spoken to anyone about anything since not ED and not assault.

It is all just too complicated and I can't see a way out.

Awh so sorry

That’s terrible about that counselling guy, I wouldn’t off gone back no way!
I went to see an hypnotherapist once, a guy
He had great reports about him
Yet I thought he was creepy, I couldn’t relax and couldn’t wait to get out of there quick enough
It makes me angry, we soend our well earned money so that we can access quickly and then get either one that doesn’t listen
Or get you, or their not what you think.

Most health insurance companies now cover mh issues, that’s what ED comes under.
I bet if you look at the policy or ring them they do. Would you not be able to tell dh, say mention it but then say I can’t talk about it now but I need the insurance policy for membership number?

Also I’d try a woman next time, some men have no empathy even though they take your money.

Why don’t you ring gp reception tomorrow and ask did gp request bloods? Receptionist will look at notes to see if it’s there
Then you can book a day and time to go down surgery with receptionist

You may be missing vital vitamins, so bloods will help.

You can’t be as anxious as me, I’m a mess sometimes I

Please help yourself for the children sake
I’m sure they don’t want mum poorly
You don’t mention your age?

@granadagirl

The policy only covers limited counselling which wouldn't be suitable for ED.

I couldn't even speak to my GP about it. I sent her a questionnaire id filled out to let her know. When she phoned me I couldn't answer her questions and clammed up. Could barely say yes or no.

At no point would I be able to tell DH much less phone the insurance company and have a big old chat with a complete stranger about it.

I don't even think I can answer the questions when and if the GP makes the referral to the specialist ED service. I don't think I'd be able to talk to them.

I'm 47 so its all a bit too late really. Life is sort of over and there probably isn't any way they could help me anyway.

Is it because your embarrassed about the illness you can’t speak about it to anyone about it?

Are you just like this about the illness and fine about talking to other’s about different things?
As you say you work, you must be ok there? (Familiar)

Nobody is too old for help, I’m 62

It's just the ED I can't talk about. I don't really know why.

I've not heard back from anyone since. I did have a blood test and ecg a couple of weeks ago.

Not sure what is supposed to happen now?

@lamacorn please don't give up on getting help. My mother (also Kent!) had an eating disorder her whole life long. The effect on her kids was massive. Obviously we knew, don't kid yourself for a second you can keep them in the dark. All of us had our own issues as a result. Her worries about eating in public/eating the wrong thing/going anywhere centred around food overshadowed our entire childhood, just as it will your kids'.

And here's the real kicker. She started losing more weight in her 60s. By that time all of us were bored of it (quite honestly). She of course rather enjoyed it. Turned out the weight loss was bowel cancer, and by the time it was caught, she was stage 4, and she died. She was desperate to live and did start treatment with the London Clinic (I seem to remember we looked at these people but it was a bit slow , but she could not overcome 50 years of disordered eating and even towards the end she struggled to eat what she needed.

Stop fucking up your children's lives and go and get some help. You wouldn't try and mend a broken leg by yourself - there is help out there and you owe it to them to find it.