Parents of children with very low weight/anorexia, support

[PeaceOfWildThings]

Am Inthe only one?

I've looked on b:eat and there are no support groups for carers in my area. Am I the only one who could do with a thread where we can support one another here on Mumsnet?

[PeaceOfWildThings]

Thanks, Lassie, that does help. DD tried to bolt to her bedroom after throwing the tea over me, and DH blocked her way and said she needed to talk to me. It would probably have helped to say I loved her at that point, but I was speechless! She ran outside then. No way was she going to clean up in any helpful way at that point, and I needed to get changed. She did fill/empty the dishwasher later on when asked, but left a lot of mess in her room again.

They are going to have a consultant talk to her again, see if they can get her opening up and talking, but she's probably not ready to talk or listen.

[LakelandLassie]

Sorry Peace- should have said that I have that conversation once I've calmed down!!
How was she on return to IP? I cant even imagine how hard it must be. Are you back to cleaning up her room? Not sure if that's a symptom of AN or teenage girl cos I have that too
Was feeling a bit fed up today as someone else had beaten me to a rental property but of course I have to be 'sweetness and light' at ALL times otherwise DD thinks I'm upset with her and finds it harder to eat. ARGHHH.

Off to CAHMS this afternoon

[PeaceOfWildThings]

How did it go at CAHMS?
We are doing all we can do. I don't know how DD is getting on, I imagine ok, as I have heard no more since Monday. I'll go for a couple of supported meals this week.

She hates me going in her room normally, but it needed a good sort out, and I will have to sort out her clothes etc soon and take away any which are too small.

[LakelandLassie]

CAMHS went ok. We have a new psychiatrist who seems much better than the last. At least DD will speak to this one!!
Increased her anti-depressants so fingers crossed it helps.

Got her school report today which, given the amount of school she has missed, was ok. Not great but ok. DD upset that she hasn't got straight As despite her best efforts (but she never was a straight A student
and so refused to eat her afternoon snack or dinner. Of course its my fault for keeping her off school!!

Thinking of you Peace as we approach the weekend and hope this one is more enjoyable for you all.

[LakelandLassie]

Hi NeedAScarf
I'm still here!
I'm sorry you have needed to seek out a thread like this but feel free to rant if you need to.
AN is still an unwelcome guest in our home but only makes a brief appearance every couple of weeks! My DD has worked so hard to overcome this shitty illness; the good days far outnumber the bad now.

[PeaceOfWildThings]

I'm back! DD2 was discharged in March, and has gradually lost weight since, so Ive been nudging her to eat a bit more each day, and the last week or so it's turned around. In the meantime, DD1 suddenly lost weight (she has been maintaining at a low weight for 3 or 4 years) and I went with her to her GP appointments, she was referred back to the local ed services and from there she was advised to take up the offer of a residential place. She eventually did and has been at a specialist MH unit for over a month. Although she's obviously very ill, she's starting to seem accept it is anorexia nervosa, and she wants to gain weight and beat the anorexia now.

Anyone else still around? Anyone new?

[Clankboing]

Hi Peace, I am new (sadly). My young only just 11 year old dd seems to have a note anorexia. I've taken her to the doctor, blood tests done, all fine and now we are waiting for a cahms appointment. Today has been awful. She had a breakfast (fruit bread 1 slice) with milk that lasted her 4 hours, refused two meals (not hungry, stomach full) but later had a small fruit smoothie and at bedtime a hot chocolate. I weighed her and it seems she has lost 5lbs in 2 weeks. I just feel this is too urgent to wait for an appointment. She is looking thinner. School are very worried too. Any ideas what else I can do?

[PeaceOfWildThings]

Try googling your ed services (or school might know it) and phone them. Ask if you can self refer your child. We can in this area, but don't think it's possible to everywhere.

You could have a meeting with school... See how you can all help each other. I used to drive over to school carpark and DD had to eat the packed lunch I'd made. If not eaten, she came home with me.

Other than that, I've learned to narrow down the choices. Ask what pitta filling they want at breakfast, make it and get them sat down with it for lunch. Nothing else is done until it's eaten, even no school!

[PeaceOfWildThings]

Meantime, keep a record of what she's eaten, and plan out weekly nutritious meals/snacks for if/when you're asked to support her in this way.

So sorry this horrible disease is affecting your family too.

[Clankboing]

Thank you for taking the time to reply. Its hard for you too. Dd's had a muesli bar for breakfast, left her lunch, then had a vegetable finger, carrot slice and 1 green bean for tea. Have tried to persuade but she won't have any more. Going to school to her is not an option as I work full time at a distance. Will look up ed services thanks.

[PeaceOfWildThings]

Ah, so hard those days when they eat so little. It can't go on like that. If you can't self refer to local ed services, you can take her to GP appointments to chart her weight (loss) and to have a medical professional say the things she needs to hear (repeatedly).
Keep us posted!

[Wishingandwaiting]

I’m so sorry to restart this thread if it causes pain for any previous posters

The DD is a dear old friend is in dire ED straits. Is any previous poster able to please give an update since the years have past since the last post?