We’ve been trying for 15years to have a child and currently tentatively pregnant with a donor egg conceived baby. For us this is our normal and most people around us know donor eggs due to genetic condition is always the way we will go, but people assumed that after all this time we had stopped trying to be parents. So it’s taking everyone by surprise!
We are already planning on including our babies history in a book for them, always talking about their donor etc so it’s their normal. Our family and friends know we’ve used an egg donor, but I won’t be telling people I meet once at playgroup for example.
We are due to tell my LC in-laws. The topic will come up if it is “my” baby. I’m anticipating That MIL will comment something along the lines of the baby will be related to/look like her and not me. I want to have a few stock phrases ready to go and not take away this enjoyment from my DH. But also for me she’s done so much that this might be my red line that would be the last time I see her if she does comment negatively. It seems like a small thing but it’s on a background of awful stuff.
The other question is about my SIL. I also anticipate that she will ask me in front of others if the baby is mine/a donor. She’ll d this in front of people as she likes to make me feel uncomfortable in front of family and make herself look good/knowledgable (she loves gossip and thinking she knows more than others about a situation). I won’t to respond something like if she tells me what position her child was conceived in, but she’ll always ask when her kids are around so you feel you have to tow the line to protect her kids. Like for example she’ll ask In front of her young kids if Father Christmas brought you a stocking as he did for her/her DH. She wants to risk her kids finding out about FC to make you squirm and feel bad and you have to cover stuff up. Really bad example but I can’t explain it.
This is an exciting and nervous time and such a long time coming. I don’t want to react badly to them asking. Everyone else is genuine but I know the underlying motives of MIL.