Financial consent order not approved - so stressed

[HazelWicker]

Been told today that the court wouldn't approve it but have not yet told us why?!

Ex refused legal advice despite me and my solicitor saying he should get it. He and I agreed a split (in my favour) and am now having kittens about it not having been approved.

My mortgage application was approved two months ago so I only have four months left before it expires. I'm SO stressed.

Anyone in a similar boat? Got any words of reassurance?

I went to a solicitor for advice on this. It was a 70/30 split that we both agreed on. Solicitor said it wouldn't be approved. Since we both agreed we just used Divorce on line. Super cheep and it was approved no problem.

If you're departing from 50/50 it will be because your STBXH hasn't had legal advice.

Why are you talking about something you clearly know nothing about?

@lemonsaretheonlyfruit
divorce and consent order are separate matters
did you actually get a sealed final consent order ? The divorce part is easy online

Based on how you have described this settlement it is unfair in just about every aspect. If your ex hasn’t had legal advice then the judge is right to question it. This is the judges job because if he approved it then it can be reopened.

It’s really important that you can demonstrate to the judge that the agreement is being made in an informed why. That your ex understands his rights and entitlements and has knowingly and without coercion decided to forgo them.

The ball is in your ex’s court to go away and get the informed and independent advice he needs to make this decision. Until and unless he does that you are stuck.

It is not about your need to buy a house or that he had affairs. It is about him not getting proper legal advice that shows he made an informed decision.

I also had to finalise the divorce with no financial agreement approved as he refused it. Thought he was being smart as I was employed and he was not.
When he died, his family were horrified that I could have claimed his insurance from his previous Company.
I didn't, but I could have.
You can proceed OP, albeit with caution. I had nothing to lose at the time.

My divorce was weighted very heavily financially for various reasons.

We had to go to see the judge to explain and for him to see we both agreed to get it signed off.

Unless there was error in your docukents it will be becuase your consent order does not meet the law regarding “fair settlement “
”fair settlement “ criteria are defined in marriage act. There’s around 10 of them. It’s law passed by governments to avoid the risk of someone ending up potentially needing state benefits now or in future, where there is sufficient funds to avoid this. It also prioritises the spouse who would likely need the most support
a court CANNOT Seal the consent order if there is a conflict with “fair settlement” . It may also reject one that appears to show a risk becuase you haven’t explained why you agreed something so unequal. Bear in mind the court does not start or assume 50;50 split, that’s not the point though lots of folks seem to think so. Courts would like a 50:50 , but recognise that’s not always possible, or preferable to anyone.

2 way to offset courts concerns, both of which people have already mentioned is
a. Explain why it’s unequal in D81 and make it clear how you agreed it in your consent order wording
b. Ensure you BOTH have legal advice. Like another poster, my ex didn’t want to pay a solicitor , but I forced him to have a quick 45 mins with solicitor for £200 so we could state the name of this solicitor on our consent order alongside my solicitors name that wrote the legal draft up form our layman’s draft. He didn’t learn anything from that meeting, it was tick box exercise. I told him about reading other examples on MN rejections by courts and how it reassures courts to see you’ve both had legal advice.

This is not that unusual . Historically I can remeber at least 4 post in last 3 years with same thing. You need to do more work in either going back and adjusting to ensure you DO meet all relevent criteria of “fair settlement “ and/or ensure you can show you’ve both taken legal advice if it remains unequal.

I would strongly advise you going to link above in header to “ADVICE NOW” and downloading their guides. They explain what “fair settlement” is and how it may apply to your situation. They also have links to solicitors list who will take on specific tasks for what you actually need . This is what my ex used- he had 45 mins in teams call with someone form that list. They were very reasonable rate, didn’t try to “sell him” more services than he wanted, and did what he asked the, to do. Quick and simple.

I would just add. Divorce will make you BOTH worse off. You cannot come out of divorce without losing some financial security and assets. It’s a tough pill to swallow if the spouse is one who is to “blame”. And where you have been burdened with most of financial burden historically. I was in that situation. Made me very angry when I realised this. But that anger doesn’t help get a consent order negotiated and Sealed by courts. You have to take the time, and arm yourself with knowledge that sadly this is how marriage act works, to accept that you will be worse off. Then park the frustration and rage at that to get the deal sorted, and legally tied up. You can vent after.

do NOT under any circumstances agree to something not sealed in court. If you come into any money later in life, for your lifetime, or even your estate after you die, he could have a claim on it. This is not a risk worth taking. Even if you have nowt or debts at time of divorce. Ignore anyone who advocates this.

That is not how law works . It’s about “fair settlement” and that is OFTEN not 50:50
🤦‍♀️🙄

I signed everything over to my unkind DH because it was the only way I could get away. Literally everything- House, assets, pension. My DC and I were living in a tiny rental whilst he remained in our family home, which was huge and within travelling distance to the DC's school.

My solicitor urged me to go for at least 50%, but I didn't have any fight left in me. I had to sign a letter to the judge stating that I was going against the advice of my solicitor but was making an informed decision.

TBH, looking back, I did this because of pressure, bullying and emotional blackmail from ex. It wasn't a fair split and I do regret it. So I understand why judges reject unfair splits.

How is that a fair settlement?
No wonder it's being questioned.

This happened with my ex and his ex. He gave her nearly everything because he didn't want the kids lives to change. Judge turned it down. ex then got a meeting with a solicitor who said he's an idiot but because he's had advice and wanted to proceed he had a conversation with judge who then made the order.

Hi.

I was in court the week before Christmas as my financial settlement hadn't been approved. My situation is I had a bit more equity from the sale of our and I didn't touch his pension. This was always going to be my approach.

So a court appearance was requested in order to ensure that I had a fair payout. I always said I would not touch his pension but the court system allowed for that to change had I wanted to change my mind. Whilst stressful, the court was doing what they should do by protecting individuals.

So happy to find this thread. Does anyone know how long the consent order approval process takes?
Has anyone had any experiences in submitting the Consent Order signed some time ago? Could the judge ask many questions because all the form D81 and the consent order were prepared and signed some time ago? Conditional Order took so long in our case - DH disputed and slowed down.. Hence this question in case anyone knows..... TIA

In my experience my consent order was signed off although it was quite obviously in my favour - £180k equity in the house - he would get £50k. My pensions £100k - his £10k - NO pension sharing I kept it all. My earnings per month circa £4k his £1.5k

My ex also had no legal advice. This was last year.

As part of my the D81 I wrote that I was supporting 3 children with childcare fees of £2k per month. He could earn more but chose not to and had chosen not to have the children overnight. I'd be supporting the children into adulthood

My solicitor said if it went to court so long as both agreed we knew what we had proposed and happy with it then the judge would sign it off

I wonder if it was the inheritance value which is the issue? I'd perhaps have agreed not to mention it on the forms if he was amenable at the time

@hanschristmassolo thank you. How many weeks did it take in your case from the application last year? Interesting as quite a lot of people on this forum seem to suggest that the court very often rejects if the counter party does not have any legal advice. Thanks.

@Megacrisis

My financial order was signed off within the minimum timescale - less than 28 days I think

I can only guess why mine was approved so easily

• I agreed on the D81 form to take on all "family" related outstanding debts - an IVF loan, car loan (mine), a loan taken out towards twins childcare. He was effectively walking away with no long term debt liabilities

• I made a compelling argument - with research - that actually even though my salary is 3x more that actually my mortgage raising capacity was less due to the cost of the children's childcare

• all child raising was falling to me - he was having no overnights and due to the age of my children and mix of girls/boys then strictly speaking we needed a 4 bed to be adequately housed but were compromising by remaining in a 3 bed

• he could earn more but chose not to

• given my age and age of children I'll be hitting retirement just as they start university and realistically it will be me that supports them as young adults therefore I had greater need to retain 100% of my pension

thank you so much!!🌹

I was in a similar situation to you recently. I explained further the reasons for unequal split (inheritance/premarital assets/children living with me) and my ex wrote a letter saying he had been given the chance to get legal advice but didn’t want it, or any more money than we had agreed. It was then approved, and now I’m divorced with peace of mind and a clean break. Keep going!

This post worries me. My husband won’t get legal advice and I want to keep the house for children to stay in (100k equity) and my pension (been paying it 20yesrs). Offering him a car which has £23k equity. I’m happy to keep all debts in my name which should be joint. I paid our mortgage and all the bills myself for 4 years to support him setting up his own business. Is this likely to get refused?

@Sunshineandwaterfalls

Are you offering any equity? I think of you are wanting to keep all your pensions and all the house equity then it's likely to get refused - a car "worth" £23k means nothing as it can't house him or support him in retirement

I can’t offer him any equity as me and the kids need a house to live in and I don’t have £40k lying around hence the trade off in having the expensive car. I’ve done the financial assessment today and add his business and business assets etc so it does now seem a fair deal

Ok, not entirely true. The court are governed by “ fair settlement “ terms in law. They can’t seal an order where “ fair settlement “ is not met entirely.
that law is matrimonial act
this “ fair settlement “ is law because the governments over years ( not specifically Tory or labour) wants to ensure that no divorce will leave someone likely to need benefits if it can be avoided.
so whilst you and ex might agree, if the court can see there’s a risk he could need benefits whilst you take most of assets, they legally can’t approve it. Not the courts choice - a law created by government to protect the tax payers and government budgets. Pretty logical if you think about it.
point to remember divorce WILL always make BOTH of you worse off. Because marriage is a financial advantage for 2 people.

in a lot of cases a couple can agree what they want, even where someone I’d taking a much bigger proportion. Courts then like to see that BOTH parties have taken legal advice so that the “ deprived” party is not being naive,coerced etc. but generally they’ll seal the order if they can see both parties knowingly agreed to uneven split

so 2 things why they potentially rejected

1. if both parties haven’t shown they’ve had that legal advice- only needs 45 mins with a solicitor each, record on consent order docs. Done
2. even with solicitor advice, the agree split is going to mean one party could be in need of benefits now or in future and they wouldn’t be if split was re-distributed. In other words it doesn’t meet the law of “ fair settlement “ to a major extent. In that case you’ll need to go back and adjust based on “ fair settlement” to at least a degree that the court can then approve

go to link in header for ADVICE NOW to read up on “ fair settlement “. Read the relevant passages of the law if needed too. Then get inside head of court to figure out exactly where you’re not meeting requirements. Then adjust accordingly and re submit

it is a shock to many people to find out there’s a law underlying how settlements are made legal. Everyone assumes 50:50 or that you can merely agree anything. You can’t. BUT it isn’t the court as such deciding randomly- the courts there to uphold the law.

@Appleofmyeye2023

I'm not entirely sure about the benefits point

My D81 clearly shows that post divorce situation my ex husband would have a take home income of £1,100 per month to live off and me £4,500

There is no way he can support himself without benefits (not that I care)

This is why it has been rejected. No court can approve ( seal) your consent order that leaves him dependent on benefits and you walking off with £4k per month. Not unless he’s getting lion share of saved assets he’ll draw down an income from?