Children Court Order / relocation

[peacocksuite]

Looking for experiences not opinions here, please.

Have a court order for 50/50 during term time but I am doing majority of holidays.

Have reached financial settlement that has totally screwed me, basically I can't afford to live in the area we currently live in (expensive).

I would like to move to a cheaper area so I can afford a house for my children but by doing so children arrangements would need to change.

Kids are primary age, as far as their opinion counts they enjoy seeing him but struggle with the current arrangements.

Nb children's father is an abusive narcissist who has displayed behaviours various experts have shown significant concern towards but not serious to stop the relationship with the children altogether (not saying what as outing). I believe that the children should have a relationship with their dad but that doesn't mean 50/50.

If you have experience of changing a court order due to financial changes in circumstances or not being allowed to move due to the court order, then please let me know.

@pinkunicorns54 ok thanks, the expert I spoke to suggested that I contact social services but I haven't because of the potential backlash from him. CAFCASS didn't do an assessment or a social worker.

The first Q, social services will ask if why have you not reported your very serious concerns sooner and why are you still allowing contact if the concerns are so serious.

I assume they will be sceptical at the timing of you seeking intervention if you are planning to move too...

@pinkunicorns54 I think I would be asking SS what they would advise. If they suggested contact should stop then I would.

The situation has escalated recently, and there has been stuff I've only just found out about.

I need to move but I have not done anything legally about it, hence the thread, I am trying to work out what is even possible.

Are you still in the FMH? How far away would you need to move? Sorry your solicitor got you such a bad deal.

Oh in the case, SS will advise you to seek legal advice regarding contact.
SS won't advise regarding contact - unless the concern is of a child protection nature.

@Mrburnshound no I'm not, there wouldn't have been an issue if that had been possible but it wasn't.

Yes various factors have led to my situation becoming untenable.

Hopefully they'll have a magic money tree to get the advice. Obviously they won't but I can't afford to keep contacting the solicitor.

I meant we were in the Family Court on the Monday and County Court on the Thursday, for what turned out to be the final hearing.

At the family court he ended up agreeing to the suggestion my solicitor had sent him 6 weeks previously, which was two nights a week rather than the 50 50 he'd vaguely suggested. (This was ten years ago and I think 50 50 has become a bit more common since then. Although don't think it's "automatic", from reading about judgements on here?)

When we got to Thursday he was somewhat dismayed (to put it mildly), to discover that the fact I was having the children the majority of the time meant that I needed adequate housing which cost money. Actually I imagine one of his four solicitors (appointed in succession, not all at the same time!) would have explained these issues to him, but 🤷🏻‍♀️......

Judges always emphasise that an order has to be workable for both sides, as it's the parents who have to go away and carry its provisions out. They hope not to see the couple back in court.

Our order and, I think, most orders, has a line at the end about "or such other arrangements as might be agreed by both parties" (or something to that effect.) So you can vary the order if you agree it together. I was surprised tbh how relatively easy it was to get him to agree to small changes in subsequent years. And yes he is a narcissist.

You might be eligible for legal aid if you have v limited funds? Eg see here

childlawadvice.org.uk/information-pages/legal-aid-if-your-child-is-at-risk-of-abuse/

You will be expected to try to get the father’s consent to the move before going to court.

At court you will need to demonstrate that the move is in your children’s best interests and that you have a well considered plan as to how they can maintain a relationship with their father including detail of splitting holidays, Christmas etc.

One issue is that it may take some time to get court approval of new arrangements. If in the meantime you appear to be managing ok financially that may go against you.

I’d expect that your ex could try to refute an accusation that the area is unaffordable e.g could you afford a smaller / less nice house.

If you are genuinely worried about your children’s safety whilst with your ex you obviously need to address that.

But otherwise I wouldn’t muddy the waters of a court application about relocation with accusations about your ex’s parenting unless you can prove it.

I'm an actual solicitor with many year's experience. I'm not a family lawyer, but I doubt a Court will force you to reside in an area you cannot afford (as that's unreasonable), but if you cannot agree aspects of the relocation with your ex, in as much as the relocation will affect the child sharing arrangements per any order. You will need to go back to the court to get the order changed. In your evidence you would need to explain why you cannot afford the area you currently live in, where you want to move, how you will make it work, and it would help to provide some evidence to show how you have thought about this (meaning why you are picking a particular area to make it work and any changes to schools etc.).

You need to talk it all through with a solicitor and come up with a plan.

But she doesn't have to apply to vary the court order?

But it is going to be easy for him to say "She's just raising these concerns cos she wants to move away and take my darling children from me!", yes.

What professionals have you discussed the situation with OP? And have you told them the latest grooming type stuff?

Oh sorry @Circe7 I'd missed the first line of your post

She doesn’t have to, no, but she does if she wants to relocate to an area where she can’t reasonably adhere to the arrangements set out in the existing order, unless the children’s father consents.

Yes various factors have led to my situation becoming untenable
And that's what it will come down to. You'll need to evidence that you really can't afford and provide acceptable housing for your children continuing to live there and you are in no position to increase your income.

Being able to afford to own vs renting is a red herring as to whether the former benefits the children due to the security more than being able to see their dad half of the time.

You will need to have a very good case that the move benefits your children more than staying and that you truly have no option to increase your income (including accessing benefits).

@peacocksuite what happened please?

Am in family courts, section 7 has been done since which in my favour as domestic violence, stalking and harassment, the kids haven't seen there father in two years due to domestic violence, and have orders in place to protect me I have stalking prevention order etc, he is due to come out of prison i still feel unsafe I am relocating with in England to reduce to risk under domestic violence charity offers refugee in one of there properties, will the courts ask me to come back even tho I will attend courts in person. I am so worried and scared. And my solicitor won't be at the next hearing as he in holiday I have a barrister to in his place, can you advise me please...

When the financial agreement was made what housing provision was made? Ensuring both parties are suitably housed is the first thing courts look at.