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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Do I need to get a solicitor to do the legal side of divorce or can I just do it myself?

26 replies

thecatswhiskrs · 07/07/2023 21:04

I was all set to fill in the government form filing for divorce this weekend and now am hesitating because the lawyer that I was going to use to advise with finances seems to be implying that I should get her to do it for a fixed fee and another friend said to me that she used a lawyer and felt I might miss something otherwise.

I haven't looked at the form but other sources online seem to suggest that it's relatively straightforward. The difficult bit of the divorce is going to be the financial negotiations...
Anyone else done it themselves and thought it was or wasn't a good idea?

OP posts:
Fourmagpies · 07/07/2023 22:14

You can do the divorce online really easily yourself. You don't need a solicitor to do it. If you're not sure on any of the questions, it's probably already been asked on these pages.

Fourmagpies · 07/07/2023 22:16

Forgot to add I did ours online by myself.

Blasé · 08/07/2023 00:48

if you think you have enough of an ‘advantage’ by not using a professional, then go for it! But I ask the question of you… are you only resorting to not being represented because you don’t have the funds or is this a very matter of fact separation? Are you aware of all the financials. Will your soon to be ex be represented by a third party? Can you be matter of fact and have your paper work (not just the initial forms) in order enough for a court of law. If you can afford a legal aide, or even if you can’t. Think twice about the next 6 months. A lot can change. Said with the best will and hope in the world! X

Hawkins0001 · 08/07/2023 00:49

As long as you study all the relevant details you can teach yourself

PerfectYear321 · 08/07/2023 00:55

If there are little to no assets in the marriage I wouldn't bother getting a solicitor. When you get divorced you realise that marriage is basically a financial contract. Divorce is about extricating yourself from that and it doesn't matter a jot who is 'at fault ' for the breakdown of the marriage.

Blasé · 08/07/2023 01:15

yes if you have nothing to be taken, grand. You’re both at zero. But at least get some
sort of financial /custody mediator if it’s not as straight forward.

denpark · 08/07/2023 02:28

You can do the divorce yourself but you must ensure that you have a consent order (if you have to agree anything like child arrangements) written up properly, from what I can tell.

It's really REALLY important to get a financial order done properly too as that severs your financial ties and ensures your ex can't come back and demand things like part of your inheritance or any house you might buy post divorce.

I'm part way through a divorce and applied for the divorce online myself. We're going through mediators to get the notes for the consent order and financial order sorted and then we're sharing the cost of a solicitor who will draft the mediators note into the two orders to be sent to court.

denpark · 08/07/2023 02:29

So many people get divorced but don't get a financial order. It can utterly screw your over later on in life if you don't have one

denpark · 08/07/2023 02:33

You also need to ensure that you have a clean break order put in (if that's what's appropriate for your situation) to ensure that your ex cannot come back to demand financial support in the future.

Appleofmyeye2023 · 08/07/2023 10:09

At the top of this board is a link to ADVICE NOW .

they have brilliant guides on how to get your financial agreeement “Diy” whether through mediation, courts or hopefully consent order.
they explain how to complete the legal financial declarations (D81 and form E) and how “fair settlement” works- contrary to popular belief on this board settlment do NOT start at 50:50, the court likes it if they do end up that way, but fair setup,ent criteria have to come first in law, and even for a consent order a court can refuse to “seal” it if they haven’t been met and send you away to rethink- a costly mistake

these guides explain each step in process and explain which individual tasks you should use a solicitor for , where you might and where yo7vrwally don’t need one . And there’s a list of solicitors who will work on just the tasks you need.

I shared these documents with my ex so we could both read up, understand the process, set our expectations right about how financial settlement would leave us both etc. it was hard reading and then accepting we would both loose financially on divorce so so,etc,we needs time to come to terms with

we used a solicitor for just the legal “drafting” of our agreed and layman document we drew up for consent order. We then paid for that solicitor to submit that and D81 to court (we did all our form E and D81 ourselves) and then paid for solicitors to give us final advice over what we were signing in terms of consent order - 45 mins for both, so we could show courts we’d both had legal advice as ours wasn’t quite 50:50

You do NOT need a solicitor to file your petition at all. I’m actually,appalled she told you this. The government has worked hard at making the petition easy, accessible and non adversarial. Anyone can do it. It takes about 30 mins if you have all your documents ready. Seriously that’s outrageous given solicitors charge £200+ per hour - she’d probably have to charge you 2 hours as she’d have to get all information from you and you’d pay for that. And then you’d be paying for her to contact your stbex- bloody outrageous and wouldn’t trust her to do anything frankly.

again ADVICE NOW has guide on the petition process, but really the government web site is really really straightforward with easy to read guides. Just make sure you tick the box saying you want the court to make your financial agreement - I found that the only ambiguity as we were going consent route - but in that case you are really just saying you want court to “seal” it (eg make it legal)

i divorced in 2021, before law changes but forms and process for consent orders haven’t changed . It cost US in total (we agree to share costs) £1400 including court costs . It took us less than 14 weeks to divorce form petition raised to final decrees (though you can’t do it that quick now) because we were under same roof, keeping it amicable (though it was very hard), and both agreed we wanted to avoid costs and stress . I think we had a very
“ easy” divorce process. The moving house was an entirely catastrophic and horrendous process mind 😱🤣🤣

MEDIATE also has good guides , but I found ADVICE NOW way better. There’s a poster n here that often posts about another set of help guides- she may be along soon to signpost you to those.

Appleofmyeye2023 · 08/07/2023 10:13

denpark · 08/07/2023 02:33

You also need to ensure that you have a clean break order put in (if that's what's appropriate for your situation) to ensure that your ex cannot come back to demand financial support in the future.

Just to clarify:
A clean break order is not a thing. Any financial settl,ent can be a clean break and courts much prefer that settl,ents are clean breaks- but sow,times, especially if there are children that is not always possible.
you can get a financial order, where the court decide, or a consent order where you have decided and submit to court for approval and sealing. Even if you go to mediation, if it’s successful you will go the consent order route then.
consent orders don’t have to be clean breaks mind - though the vast majority will be.

thecatswhiskrs · 08/07/2023 10:26

Thank you guys! Yes, it was just the petition online I was thinking of doing by myself. I'm definitely getting a solicitor to help with the financial negotiations (or at least to give me advice on what is reasonable and what is not) although I'm hoping that we will be able to work out a lot of stuff by ourselves with just some input from lawyers... It's a scary step - especially not knowing how STBEx will react when we start to negotiate!

OP posts:
thecatswhiskrs · 08/07/2023 10:26

PS I've already found my way to the AdviceNow stuff and agree that it's great.

OP posts:
2022NewTimes · 08/07/2023 11:43

@thecatswhiskrs I applied for divorce, conditional order and final order myself. The only part I got solicitors involved in was to draft the financial consent order - which I then filed with HM Courts...... we were 50/50 though with grown up children so was straightforward

Anita848 · 08/07/2023 15:58

Yes it is definitely possible to do it yourself! Read everything the comments above suggest - there are some good resources listed. When I couldn't afford a solicitor I used this https://www.iamlip.com/ it takes you through the entire process for free. It also has guides on how to fill out the forms you need. I hope can help! It was really useful for me. You can definitely do the forms by yourself and save a lot.

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https://www.iamlip.com

EmmW14 · 08/07/2023 16:27

Anita848 · 08/07/2023 15:58

Yes it is definitely possible to do it yourself! Read everything the comments above suggest - there are some good resources listed. When I couldn't afford a solicitor I used this https://www.iamlip.com/ it takes you through the entire process for free. It also has guides on how to fill out the forms you need. I hope can help! It was really useful for me. You can definitely do the forms by yourself and save a lot.

Yeah these guides are good. There's also some good facebook groups I used too but I got a lot of use out of this website.

Littledogball · 09/07/2023 21:16

Anita848 · 08/07/2023 15:58

Yes it is definitely possible to do it yourself! Read everything the comments above suggest - there are some good resources listed. When I couldn't afford a solicitor I used this https://www.iamlip.com/ it takes you through the entire process for free. It also has guides on how to fill out the forms you need. I hope can help! It was really useful for me. You can definitely do the forms by yourself and save a lot.

This is a great website. Is it new? There's hardly any posts in the forum but the advice in the help guides looks great

MrsT1704 · 01/09/2023 14:15

OP, how did you get on with the online divorce paperwork. I am looking to start it myself end of this month. Did you do it jointly or on your own?

Thanks everyone for these useful links, I will definitley be using them

thecatswhiskrs · 01/09/2023 17:33

I've just done the initial application. I did it on my own. It was really easy actually. The only bit that was in any way ambiguous was when you had to say whether you wanted to apply for a financial order for yourself and kids. I had been prewarned to tick yes to both because it doesn't mean you have to do it but it does mean you have the option. If you don't tick it then you can't do it... They sent some emails confirming receipt and asking me to resend the photo of my marriage cert. Since then I've had confirmation that it's all been accepted and I just have to wait the statutory period before I can apply for financial consent order (or whatever it's called).

Actually, subsequently I've now decided that I'm going to do most bits by myself. exDH and I are still living in the same house so I'm going to negotiate with him direct, just using lawyers for advice at key points.
All good so far, fingers crossed!!

OP posts:
Appleofmyeye2023 · 01/09/2023 22:22

thecatswhiskrs · 01/09/2023 17:33

I've just done the initial application. I did it on my own. It was really easy actually. The only bit that was in any way ambiguous was when you had to say whether you wanted to apply for a financial order for yourself and kids. I had been prewarned to tick yes to both because it doesn't mean you have to do it but it does mean you have the option. If you don't tick it then you can't do it... They sent some emails confirming receipt and asking me to resend the photo of my marriage cert. Since then I've had confirmation that it's all been accepted and I just have to wait the statutory period before I can apply for financial consent order (or whatever it's called).

Actually, subsequently I've now decided that I'm going to do most bits by myself. exDH and I are still living in the same house so I'm going to negotiate with him direct, just using lawyers for advice at key points.
All good so far, fingers crossed!!

Grand. I’d suggest you give him advice now guides too. If he realises there’s a process around fair settlement, he may be easier to negotiate with. Park the anger as much as you can. Good luck

peanutbutterkid · 01/09/2023 22:29

That is so cool you are getting so much done yourself.

I absolutely could not understand the sequence of paperwork. I kept getting very confused about which form to fill in where and when and who to send it to and how to answer certain questions and so on. All I wanted was a simple flow diagram... nope, not a chance, didn't exist. So much of the online advice was the old adversarial system with different names (I think, I still don't understand) for the different stages. I was constantly confused by the legalise. I couldn't find a single template for the financial order, either. But we will probably still manage to be quite minimal about the lawyer input. Which is a big relief when we were completely amicable from the start & never needed lawyers to agree any part of it.

thecatswhiskrs · 01/09/2023 23:16

peanutbutterkid · 01/09/2023 22:29

That is so cool you are getting so much done yourself.

I absolutely could not understand the sequence of paperwork. I kept getting very confused about which form to fill in where and when and who to send it to and how to answer certain questions and so on. All I wanted was a simple flow diagram... nope, not a chance, didn't exist. So much of the online advice was the old adversarial system with different names (I think, I still don't understand) for the different stages. I was constantly confused by the legalise. I couldn't find a single template for the financial order, either. But we will probably still manage to be quite minimal about the lawyer input. Which is a big relief when we were completely amicable from the start & never needed lawyers to agree any part of it.

I haven't got as far as looking for formats for things. That's something I'm hoping to get straight from a lawyer. I'm just hoping that DH and I can agree things and then just get the lawyers to write it up for us. I'm going to get some guidance on what is acceptable and what is not... Let's see how it goes!!

OP posts:
MrsT1704 · 02/09/2023 14:27

thecatswhiskrs · 01/09/2023 17:33

I've just done the initial application. I did it on my own. It was really easy actually. The only bit that was in any way ambiguous was when you had to say whether you wanted to apply for a financial order for yourself and kids. I had been prewarned to tick yes to both because it doesn't mean you have to do it but it does mean you have the option. If you don't tick it then you can't do it... They sent some emails confirming receipt and asking me to resend the photo of my marriage cert. Since then I've had confirmation that it's all been accepted and I just have to wait the statutory period before I can apply for financial consent order (or whatever it's called).

Actually, subsequently I've now decided that I'm going to do most bits by myself. exDH and I are still living in the same house so I'm going to negotiate with him direct, just using lawyers for advice at key points.
All good so far, fingers crossed!!

Thats great to know and thanks for that extra information. It will really help when I am doing he application.

Hope the rest of the process is smooth for you

RaisedByHedgehogs · 02/09/2023 14:39

We used a mediator to agree finances then a solicitor to write the consent order. That was the only involvement from a solicitor.

Be prepared that when you apply online for the decree absolute, it can come through really quickly! I applied at midday and had an e-mail through by 3pm saying I was divorced. For some reason, it gave me a bit of a shock (but that could just be me!)

hapus2023 · 02/09/2023 14:51

thecatswhiskrs · 01/09/2023 17:33

I've just done the initial application. I did it on my own. It was really easy actually. The only bit that was in any way ambiguous was when you had to say whether you wanted to apply for a financial order for yourself and kids. I had been prewarned to tick yes to both because it doesn't mean you have to do it but it does mean you have the option. If you don't tick it then you can't do it... They sent some emails confirming receipt and asking me to resend the photo of my marriage cert. Since then I've had confirmation that it's all been accepted and I just have to wait the statutory period before I can apply for financial consent order (or whatever it's called).

Actually, subsequently I've now decided that I'm going to do most bits by myself. exDH and I are still living in the same house so I'm going to negotiate with him direct, just using lawyers for advice at key points.
All good so far, fingers crossed!!

Can you tell me some more information..
I've been scrolling through all the chats looking for divorce advice. It's a complete minefield and I have no idea what I am doing.
I ended my almost 15 year marriage last year and need to start progressing forward.
No one is at fault
We have 1 child.
Pay a mortgage
No other financial bonding
I would like to have this all sewn up as quick as possible!
What sites did you trawl though and who stood out? I appreciate the help.

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