Unmarried separating with a child

[Allthequestionsnoneoftheanswers]

Hi, I just have some questions and scoping out, don’t want to give too many details please
Unmarried couple, one young child. Joint mortgage, still a lot to pay off but probably about £50k equity in the property. Modest income from the father and mother is part time.

if separation occurred and the right to remain was granted to the mother to remain in the house until child was 18, would the father be paying for his half of the mortgage until that 18th birthday still even though he wouldn’t be living there?

understand something like this could be the outcome of Childrens Act or TOLATA?

thanks in advance

It will cost you a fortune to try and claim right to remain and is vanishingly unlikely unless there are adaptations for dc which means they need to stay in that particular house. I'm not sure TOLATA applies assuming you bought the house together/you are named on the deeds.

The father would not have to pay a penny towards the mortgage or bills, all he would need to pay is child maintenance.

The cost of trying to secure any right to stay in the house will almost certainly deplete the equity you have in the house. Far better to sell and divide the equity 50/50 (or however it was arranged). Mum will need to up her hours, dad will need to pay CM assuming dc stays with mum.

*I should add that even in divorces judges like to see a clean break and mesher orders are very rare - you staying in the house for 10+ years would leave dad unable to buy another home as he is tied to the mortgage on this one. Unless you can buy him out and take on the mortgage yourself?

You wouldn’t have the right to remain until 18
the jet daft is how you hold the house- joint tenants or tenants in common with unequal shares

thats what you’ll be due
in the very very unlikely scenario that you’d be granted the right to stay this would not happen if you can’t pay the mortgage and bills yourself

you’d only have recourse via tolata and childrens act to fight this but it will be very expensive and unless he has significant wealth deeming he does not need this house or be impacted by money and mortgage tied up in it you are extremely unlikely to be successful

are you really expecting to stay there for a very long time, with him paying the mortgage and cms, and restricting his ability to get a mortgage elsewhere?? Again unless he has material wealth that won’t happen especially for very long duration

you need to rethink this in terms of selling and splitting the equity based on how you own the house…

it doesn’t sound like he has a high income or wealth
you’ll also need to think about full time work

I can’t see this being an outcome at all based on your limited post

jet daft = key fact

Judges like a clean break. Child are arrangements are likely to be 50:50 so it's expected that each party is able to live in a similar property, not one having a bigger advantage.

I was married so an actual divorce, but I was given the option of buy exH out at full market share, or remain in the house until child is 18 but pay the whole mortgage. He would still get his (increased by then) share but the whole amount I paid would be viewed as rent for his bit.

I bought him out.

Hi all, thanks for your quick replies
should have been clear at the start im just trying to help a stressed friend and know how helpful mumsnet has been for my own partner with various questions she’s had over the years!

I don’t have all the details but father in question earns around 2k per month pre tax, so not lots of wealth going around.
I believe him and his partner are joint tenants, the mum might have a slightly less share as she earnt less before baby came along im not sure

basically the dad is stressed he’s going to be paying his share of the mortgage plus having to live somewhere else and on his income that would be a house share so no chance of having his son overnight

however it sounds like that wouldn’t be the case and like you all say a 50/50 would be favoured

He can’t bear the idea of living in a house share and not being able to have overnights, he’s been keeping himself awake reading horror stories. He’s not got family around for support either.

Nothing is even final about the separation he’s just not sure if he can fix things and stop his partner from ending things.

His partner deffo couldn’t afford the mortgage and would struggle for rent on a 2 bed for herself which is why he was so worried there would be a court order but from the first couple of replies especially it sounds like that her income wouldn’t be so much of a factor? Sorry for the extra thoughts

On 2k a month there is no way she’d be successful in a tolata /children’s act claim. Zero chance

he should seek advice from a solicitor in regards to ordering a sake if the ex won’t cooperate

if they are joint tenants they are due 50:50 sgare of equity. If they are tenants in common that’s 50:50 unless they have a deed of trust stating unequal shares. It’s not relevant who paid what, it’s based on the house ownership

She’ll need to

up her income
or
use UC and cms

and rent if not able to afford a mortgage

Thanks millymollymoomoo and previous posters
Its good for him for me to be able to report back with this…although he’s not happy about any of this, if they do end up separating he wants to ensure that his son and ex have a decent QoL but also wants to make sure he’s not miserable

As there would be no divorce or judge, if he is a soft touch he could agree to anything. She could live there forever if he doesn't push to sell the house. If he keeps paying the mortgage then that's his choice

Really, they are supposed to split joint assets and that's it - no ongoing committment of any kind.
That's the whole benefit of not getting married

@ArcticSkewer he wouldn’t be that much of a soft touch I think he’s just worried she would take him to court to remain in the house as their son is only young and she’s only just gone back into part time work

That's fine then, she would get as far as an appointment with a solicitor and realise she has no rights really, other than her joint ownership. Mind you, she could still make things difficult.

@ArcticSkewer thanks for your reply? In what way do you think can I ask? I was gonna meet up with him with him today and want to be prepared for his thoughts

Sorry didn’t mean a ? After saying thanks - was a typo

I've had a male friend go through similar but he was a total soft touch and walked all over. Ended up letting her live there as she just refused to move out. You can't help people as such, like that, just be sure they are acting on facts rather than assumptions. Maybe suggest he pays for a one off consultation with a solicitor so he knows his rights, then he can decide what to do after that

I will do that, thanks. He’s quite careful with his money so I think he’d be keen to make things as equal as possible but he’s just heard so many scare stories

They aren't married. If the ex's name is on the deeds it will be a 50/50 split of the equity in the house and that's it. The property will have to be sold or one partner buys out the other. It sounds like the latter isn't an option due to lack of funds. Any joint savings should be split too.

I believe him and his partner are joint tenants, the mum might have a slightly less share as she earnt less before baby came along im not sure

If they own the house jointly and no one ring fenced their deposit when they bought the property then the ex will be entitled to 50%. It isn't reduced because she earnt less or contributed less.

If she refuses to sell the court will order the sale. The only reasons they would delay would be for things like ongoing medical treatment, severe disability or during school exams. Even if married and higher income mesher orders are incredibly uncommon and generally for specific reasons

Thanks all
from my initial research I thought that these sorts of orders - S1 CA 1989, mesher and Tolata were more for extreme situations or circumstances but he had scared himself so much I wanted to get some real life experiences from this board

I really hope they can work it out but at least if they can’t it sounds like things can be divided pretty equally - like you said the mum would be eligible for maintenance from him etc which would help her out. She also has close family who I’m sure would support her with childcare and other bits

Don't forget the father op. He will be looking after his own child too? It won't be on the mother's shoulders only.

He wants to - I know he’d like 50:50 in an ideal world but he’s a shift worker so it will have to be a different arrangement
but he scared himself looking at property and rent prices
hes considered 1 bed as well as 2 bed places as thinks he could in a 1 bed have it as a studio bedroom so his son can have the bedroom
But even then he thinks he might have to do a house share for a couple of years to build up savings to enable deposit AND mortgage payments. Which will mean daytime contact only if in house share

i think he’s getting ahead of himself but I can’t understand he’s very stressed