Expensive divorce lawyer

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I’m instigating a divorce from my husband.
I’m going to complete the divorce papers myself to save money but hire a lawyer for the finances.

he’s a very high earner, I’m not.
he’s going to engage a very expensive lawyer. Will this lawyer try their best to give me a little as possible?
married 20 years + together 30 years plus.
2 school age kids, one adult child. Thanks for any advice.

Of course his lawyer will try and ensure you get as little as possible - that is what lawyer is employed to do.

How long you were together before the marriage is irrelevant. What is relevant is the financial needs of your children. As it’s a long marriage you may be entitled to spousal support.

there’s plenty of advice on here if you search for it but you need to employ your own solicitor-

I was told by a couple of people that at the end of the day a judge has to agree to the financial resolution, and won’t if it seems too one sided.

If that’s the case wouldnt it be pointless for one solicitor to present an unfair settlement to the judge? Wouldn’t the judge just refuse to agree?

The advantages of a lawyer is that they know the law, the relevant precedent and the process. Plus they are not emotionally involved. They can optimise the outcome for a rationale client.

But a lot of people including couples can work out a lot of finances themselves. Then just get it written up by their lawyers with a bit of adjustment.

It really depends on your circumstances and relationship. If he is self employed with complex/secretive investments and you hate each other then it will just get expensive and complex.

If you have open finances and a lot of capital, it could be straightforward

Its your money too, and all the legal fees will come from the same pot in the end. So you just need a lawyer who is either willing to wait until the settlement to get paid, or will help you get a litigation loan. You can get a free consultation with Vardags if the family’s net assets are over £1m or income over £150,000.

Ohsugarhoneyicetea Vardags is who he's with.
I've had a £75,2 hour consultation with a solicitor who's been recommended to me, from what he's outlined what I should get, from a 50/50, more like 60/40 to me.my H will go ballistic and do anything he can not to pay, even for the kids.

Toomanysleepycats sounds sensible but no idea how these things work until I do more research, thanks.

When you say very high, how high? There’s a difference between say £100k per year vs £1m

di you know things like what he earns, what assets there are etc eyc?

what needs do you have and can these be met ( vs wants)

does 50% provide for your needs?
how far off are you in terms of possible outcomes vs the initial advice you have had ?

We’re at the initial stages yet and he’s just found a lawyer.
he’s on about £440,000, maybe more as he’s just has a pay rise.
50% far exceeds my very modest needs,
assets are mainly the house.

I would be very happy with what the lawyer has suggested. He will not however.

his lawyer will explain it to him. At the end of the day if he wants to be angry about something he can’t change then it will be his problem.

that level of salary means child support will need to go through the courts. Spousal will also be relevant if you want it.

Spousal is very rarely given and even it it was it would be for a limited time.

Thank you everyone.
it’s a worry he just won’t pay what he’s supposed to. I know maintenance can be taken from his salary . The lawyer did mention spousal support of quite a few thousand each month, that I doubt he’d pay willingly.

Do you work ?
have you sacrificed your career ?

how old are your children ?

Tbh don’t blame him for not being willing to pay spousal in the thousands - it’s a very emotive topic
Of course whether a legal settlement would award that I don’t know but I can understand Antibes reluctance to want to pay it !

Yes I do work, but will never earn what he does.
kids are primary and secondary.

Don’t forget his pension as an asset

This is a helpful post
and this thread will be useful on pensions - and also the divorce / financial settlement process, with helpful links.
www.mumsnet.com/talk/divorce_separation/4664756-what-do-i-need-to-do-about-our-pensions?reply=121093079

They'll try to rip you off as much as possible but it's likely to go to mediation not court. Get a reasonable solicitor. They're all qualified to do the same job.

Please get a decent lawyer OP. It's ok to do the paperwork yourself and even self represent in the hearing but have the lawyer in the background. I did pay a lot for a lawyer but I did the above and it was worth it. I started with a crap high street type of lawyer and that was a mistake.

Secondly, the judge will not sign off on a unfair agreement. They do take the time to make sure you understand what it's being agreed to. Make sure you get advice so you can make a reasonable case for yourself.

Spousal maintenance is unlikely. More likely is a division of assets/pensions so you will need to be self supporting.

Before you start to spend significant amounts can you talk to him and see what he is offering without a fight - solicitors fees will eat up your settlement so see what he will offer for a quick no contest divorce.

50% assets plus child maintenance and spousal until youngest leaves university/22 perhaps?

It sounds like you will benefit a lot from having a high earning husband. Maybe do the moral thing and be happy to get the 50%. Sounds like that is more than what you would ever have achieved by yourself.