Missedtheboatagain. You are obtuse and you know it. You are an expat who married someone from a much poorer culture and therefore your experience is not typical.
Many marriages discussed on here are between people who were equals on most markers. The SAHP provided a stable home environment; cooking, cleaning, socialising, childcare etc and removed those costs and responsibilities, in both time, thought and money from the career spouse and the marital income. The WOHM partner then was free to focus on their career.
In my marriage, to a man who became senior in finance I fully provided the support role. Children and their needs, down to me. Networking dinners, down to me. Friends and our social life, down to me. All household decisions down to me. Moving country and setting up the new social support network, down to me. He focussed on his job and career.
Now we are separating, I will have more time, due to him not being an areshole, and wanting 50/50 with the kids. I will have less money but guess who is floundering more? Suddenly, on his days he is having to think of what to feed the kids, how to cope when one is ill and he needs to work. His confidence is taking a battering as he has few friends to organise seeing, and he was used to a full social life that he never had to put a thought into.
If we hadn't had kids, I would have worked full time but then would have still compromised my career by following him around the world with his. I have always worked each year in contract roles. Enough to keep my career ticking along. But guess who would still meal plan, shop organise dentists etc even though for a few months at a time our hours would be the same?
As he has said to me recently, he had no idea of everything that went on behind the scenes. The boring decisions that needed thought, everyday.
It is only when one is forced to make the intangible tangible that their value is recognised.