Dh diabetes not under control and MIL moaning at me

[elliejjtiny]

Dh (type 2) is sticking his head in the sand, feeling not well and based on his symptoms and what he eats I'm guessing his sugars are high. I have bought him sugar free snacks to encourage him and gone on a health kick myself so he isn't the only one not eating chocolate (i am not diabetic but could do with losing weight). I can't make him do anything though. MIL is having a go at me about it, telling me i should be making him see a dr or a psychologist (tbh i don't think she realises what's wrong with him and dh would rather she didn't know) and moaning at me because he's not well enough to go to church. I don't know what to do, i just want my dh to be well again.

Your H needs to get with the program. Type 2 can cause long term health issues like damage to your blood vessels which can cause heart disease, foot problems like ulcers and infection, sight problems, kidney problems and gum disease. Not managing his blood sugar will cause his health to deteriorate.

Both of my parents have type 2. They are both insulin dependant. They have constant monitoring with freestyle libre monitors. They are very careful with their diets. Mum does normal meals but she swaps things out like in shepherd pie she will use swede and carrot instead of mash potato. Their go to breakfast is anything with eggs or porridge with berries, yogurt and seeds.

You can't make H eat anything he doesn't want to. He needs to choose to priorities his health. He's a grown man. He needs to decide. Right now he's not having to stick himself all the time but it will happen if he doesn't sort himself out now.

I take dapagliflozin instead of metformin, because it didn’t agree with me.

@elliejjtiny - I would suggest your dh either needs to get a continuous glucose monitor or a kit to test his sugars with a finger prick - I found having the CGM very good - I can see what foods spike my blood sugar, and it is a real encouragement for me to keep my sugars within the right limits.

As I said earlier, you can try a Dexcom One and a Freestyle Libre for free - the Dexcom One lasts for 10 days.

My partner's father lost a leg because he did not deal with his diabetes.

WHY are men like this. Seriously.

We are constantly reminded to get that lump, that pain, that unexpected bleed etc investigated and we do because we have our own lives, wellbeing, family to consider.

I came home from work once to find DP googling 'what should I do about the pain in my chest?' Call a fecking ambulance, that's what. Yes, heart attack. (All well now).

Get angry and insistent - shouldn't have to, but here we are.

Keep 'when is your appointment?' a constant topic in your house.

This. There’s a lot of outdated information still swimming around about diabetes and the causes of spikes and lows.

As far as your MIL is concerned, tell her he’s an adult and you can’t make him do anything he doesn’t want to but she’s very welcome to try.

This is so like dh. And he won't let me talk to his mother about his symptoms so i just have to tell her he's ill. Which doesn't help because she keeps guessing wrong and making suggestions. Yesterday she was going on about him seeing a psychologist and i should make an appointment for him to see one. For starters he's not depressed, he just physically feels like crap. Secondly you can't just make an appointment with a psychologist. She seems more concerned that he missed church than his actual health as well which i found irritating.

Omg just tell his mum, he can’t stop you!

Do it subtly… “I’m not sure it’s a depression you know I was wondering if it might have a physical cause. Perhaps he has a vitamin D deficiency.I try to cook healthily but I can’t remember the last time he had his blood tested and I don’t know what he eats outside the home of course.” See if she will put 2 and 2 together.

Your dh really needs to get his act together or you’ll be caring for someone with permanent ill health. Or a young widow

I am type 1 but here’s my advice.
Get a free trial of a libre continuous glucose monitor.
Get the app and tell him to monitor his readings.
If he is very high then I would go back to the hospital and check they haven’t misdiagnosed him.
what made them say he was T2 with a bmi of 23? (I know it’s possible but he could be T1. Often misdiagnosed in adults. I was 45 when I was diagnosed with T1.
If he is definitely T2 then if he wants to manage with diet, then ALL carbs= sugar.
(fruit included at an average of 10g carb a portion) He needs a low carb diet
Plenty of advice on diabetes uk about it.

He needs to understand that poorly controlled diabetes will kill him. But first it will lead to
erectile dysfunction, his arteries will become blocked leading to limb amputation. A diabetes patient who requires a limb amputation generally has around an 18 month life expectancy post amputation. The damage to the blood vessels is throughout the body, not just the affected limb.

this shit is serious and it’s time he faced up to it. As for mil, remind her that he is a fully grown adult that is responsible for his own health!

just agree with her, " I know, yes you should tell him"

i hate that she thinks you are responsible for him.

and tell him to confront the issue and talk to his Mother!