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Dementia and Alzheimer's

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Original poster

Should I raise an adult safeguarding concern? Carers giving dad Weetabix 3 times a day 😫

58 replies

Bake · 19/01/2026 20:40

My dad was in hospital in November. He had delirium while in hospital and hasn't returned to normal since he was discharged. He has carers coming 3 times a day.

Initially they were fantastic, raising concerns with the GP, calling us to say when he wouldn't get up or refused to eat or have medication. In the last week I feel like they've been neglecting him. My sister has brought over meals twice in the last week, I was over at the weekend and none of the meals have been touched. The carers are supposed to be providing him with food and ensuring he takes his medication. They’ve either been feeding him weetabix 3 times a day or not feeding him at all. 😫
My sister called the care company this morning to express concern about him being given weetabix 3 times a day. We have a camera in his living room as we have been concerned about him falling and can see he was given a bowl for dinner yesterday which I assume was weetabix, carer was there for less than 15 minutes, a bowl this morning, a bowl and yogurt for lunch and whatever was given to him on a plate this evening was less than 5 minutes after the carer arrived, so can't have been a ready meal. There is no soup in his flat, only thing that could be in the bowl is Weetabix. The battery had died so we have no footage for most of last week.

My dad can't remember if the carer has been there and can't tell us what he's been fed. It was such a relief to have the carers there as it's impossible for us to be there all the time, but now I'm angry that he's being neglected.

Does anyone have any advice? Should I raise a safeguarding concern with the care company and adult social care team?

Is it reasonable to ask them to take a photo of what he's given for each meal and then a photo of what is left that they end up binning? They empty his bin so it's impossible for us to tell what he's eating. His weight is down to 7 stone and he's literally skin and bone. It feels like they are starving him.

OP posts:

Vodka1 · 21/01/2026 20:03

Had any response from the company yet, OP?

Theonlywayicanloveyou · 21/01/2026 20:06

Bake · 19/01/2026 21:31

I think a care home is completely out of his/our budget. Something for us to discuss with Social Services maybe.

Show quote history

I would definitely speak to adult safeguarding and point out that the current situation isn’t sustainable as he needs much more support than can be providing by a visitation package

Gwenhwyfar · 21/01/2026 20:17

BeaTwix · 20/01/2026 22:28

The person I care for (EPICF) got into this kind of cycle. They didn't have the ability to think what food was available and carers would just leave the easiest option.

I also beg to differ that people always get to choose what they eat. We used to leave a weeks worth of ready meals that EPICF liked. But carers wouldn't do any kind of date rotation so they would use the ones with the longest date first and then the ones with short dates would go to waste. As adults we are all familiar with the "you have to have cauliflower cheese for dinner tonight because it's going out of date" nights (in fact I had one tonight, except it was bean chilli I made over the weekend that needed used up. I really fancied chowmein from the takeaway but I sucked it up).

Once the weeks supply of meals were exhausted due to waste EPICF used to get really random food, no one would even msg me about it (I only know due to comments in the care log found later). They never used anything from the freezer, or used the good quality long life stuff I'd bought in (the merchant gourmet bean chilli and thai green curry are quite nice and I eat them myself at times). Only the fairly vile long live meals that I'd bought in desperation. Stuff in the freezer never got touched (despite being microwavable from frozen). And asking them to assemble anything more than a ready meal e.g microwave McSweens Haggis slices, pre-prepared mash and one of those preprepared bags of brocoli was too much (despite the fact the cummulative microwive time was 1 minute more than a refrigerated ready meal).

And even if there was fruit/ salad in the fridge it never made it onto a plate.

I also used to get really frustrated at some of the food hygiene issues - failure to mark when packs of ham/ pate etc were opened so the carer coming in on a future day wouldn't know. Sometimes stuff went in the bin. Sometimes EPICF got unwell. I'd put a sharpie and labels in a clear box on top of the fridge and a notice on the door asking that this be done. I was also meticulous about doing it myself when I was around. They also wouldn't seal up the packets of cold meat/ cheese despite cling film/ zip lock sandwich bags being provided and signposted so all the stuff dried out.

Anway EPICF is revelling in the care home food. I had to buy bigger pants! And gets two courses at least at each meal and plenty of fruit/ veg. It is lovely to see how much they enjoy good food.

What or who is EPICF?

Squirrelchops1 · 21/01/2026 20:22

Gwenhwyfar · 21/01/2026 20:17

What or who is EPICF?

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Reading the context, I assume elderly person i care for. I may well be wrong but I've tried.

Gwenhwyfar · 21/01/2026 20:24

Squirrelchops1 · 21/01/2026 20:22

Reading the context, I assume elderly person i care for. I may well be wrong but I've tried.

Show quote history

Ah ok, thanks.
All I could guess was ex parent in law cheeky fucker and Google gave nothing.

TheHillIsMine · 21/01/2026 20:24

I work as a carer. If you wanted a photo of food I'd happily do it. I have raised concerns with my company about another carer and a clients family. Everyone needs to be protected.

FiniteSagacity · 22/01/2026 16:39

@BeaTwix I’m so pleased to hear of the positive move into a care home for your EPICF and I remember why you ended up with ‘elderly person I care for’ so just dropping in to say that is absolutely fine on this board (as was the original term of endearment) 💐

@Bake we had the same experience of breakfast multiple times a day. Kept running out of milk when there was a fridge full of easy quick nutritious options we knew he liked and had planned for a week. Food was not managed and left to go out of date, left unwrapped… whatever we did with planners and stickers and white boards and instructions and chats with the care manager. We cannot be there every day and certainly not for every meal.

I came here to add that ‘Nutrition risk’ is probably in the care plan and if you can’t get an amazing carer like @TheHillIsMine that risk is not being mitigated by visiting carers so it’s fair to raise that with SS.

Ultimately we moved into a nursing home, where they choose from a couple of appropriate options for meals, check weight regularly and the GP visits weekly. The food is good - we can book in to eat with them.

VegWoman · 08/02/2026 11:36

My mum (Alzheimer's + vascular dem) has a carer coming in for lunch, and I cook her evening meal. I've noticed that they tend to avoid the healthy homemade soups i have been making, and will open a tin for her. I think it has to do with Best Before dates, and making sure things are safe. I know my mum is not be able to choose what she wanted - she asks for 'food' - so I have to be really prescriptive and leave notes about yoghurt and fresh fruit, etc, or else the carers will do whatever is easiest. It maybe he is asking for cereal because he can't think of anything else.

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