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Dementia & Alzheimer's

I need to vent!

28 replies

woodblock · 09/01/2022 16:00

I moved back in with my mum a year ago. My dad died a few years ago.

Mum has been assessed as having late onset Alzheimer's. She is extremely forgetful and as a result of that can be vulnerable (ie - will try to pay people twice, asked me where the turkey was on New Year's Day having forgot Xmas had been and gone, etc).

I work FT (mostly WFH thankfully) but do all of her life admin and pay for all the food. I live rent and bill free in her house. I drive her everywhere to appointments too.

I go through a cycle of feeling extremely irritated by her behaviour then feeling guilty by my irritation.

What I am struggling with is her lack of respecting boundaries. She keeps interfering with whatever I am trying to do be it washing or cooking. Whilst I recognise that she thinks she is being helpful, she just won't or can't listen to me when I tell her to let me do whatever needs to be done alone. Today, she got to the washing machine before I was able to and put everything in the tumble dryer whereas I hang dry certain items so they don't shrink.

I know it sounds petty but I feel suffocated by her and just need to vent online!

Anyone else with experience of coping with Alzheimer's?

OP posts:

Danikm151 · 11/01/2022 21:25

It’s so hard to see someone you love go through dementia/Alzheimer’s.
They are so sure in who they are but they can’t remember things they’ve always known.
Do you gave anybody you can talk to? It can be really heartbreaking/frustrating.


madisonbridges · 21/01/2022 07:09

@woodblock. I'm so sorry, I didn't see your question. This is the one I bought, mainly because the fobs were flat so easier to stick on things.

<a class="break-all" href="https://smile.[[//" rel="nofollow noindex" target="_blank">]]


rollonsunday · 03/02/2022 20:08

I admire you for living with your Mother because I know how difficult it must be. I have my own house but have had to phone Alzhiemer's Society and sometimes the Samaritans as I have felt so down about my parent having Alzhiemer's. It helped to talk things through. Your Mother probably won't remember if you got frustrated with her or snapped at her.

Is there a local carer's centre near you that does coffee meet ups?

My parent would have said no to carers. I got a care manager to come round and speak to her and she agreed to it. It has made the world of difference having a Carer see her once a day. They can help with doing the housework and taking your mother out for walks. You could make your Mother feel like it is her decision to have one.

I have found that there is always something to think about with my parent so I've learned to take it a day at a time. Try and give yourself a bit of time to yourself if you can. Go for a coffee or a walk.

You can only do your best OP.

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