What are the very early signs of dementia?

[supersop60]

Is there anyone out there with a diagnosed relative, who noticed changes in their loved one long before diagnosis? I'm asking about my DP (55) who is fit and generally very healthy. He's always had a bad memory and there have been post-it notes all over the place for as long as I've known him (and presumeably before that) 20 yrs btw.
The most recent thing is that he empties the dishwasher and puts the cutlery in the drawer upside down ie blades and tines facing you instead of away. When I asked him why after the third time, he said he couldn't remember where they went. I have now labelled the trays, mainly to save myself from being lacerated!
Does this kind of thing resonate with anyone?

@TheNavigator thanks for the heads up, thats what I'm afraid of. The part when you mentioned about getting confused with night and day rang true with me, as my dad would get up quite regularly in the middle of the night and shower to get ready for work!

My dad has also been told to cut out the alcohol, but to go from drinking a bottle of wine every night for the past 30 years plus is easier said than done!

Not looking forward to what could happen in the future....

@alifelessordinary I am really sorry, 67 is no age. Large doses of thiamine have helped with the night waking - like your dad he would be up showered and shaved and couldn't grasp it was 2 in the morning - that seems to have stopped with the thiamine. But otherwise the rate of decline has been scary, although obviously he had been declining for at least 2 years before the formal diagnosis. My mum gets attendance allowance and is his appointee so she can handle his affairs - not how she imagined spending her retirement. It makes it very easy to say no to a second glass of wine....

I'm worried about my dad he's in his late fifties and seems very forgetful lately.

He asked my mum if Christmas Eve or Christmas Day came first 😢.

But then he works away all week and drives 4 hours down the motorway and runs a business so I can't work out what's going on.

Possible UTI, as they can cause confusion. A trip to GP is definitely worth it to rule out anything.

@TheNavigator you're right you don't expect your parents, or in laws in your case will be affected by dementia in their 60s far too young.

Thanks for the heads up about Thiamine, I will let my mum know. I know after bloods were done my dad was very low in b12 which I had read can cause dementia like symptoms, but after a course there was no difference unfortunately.

My mum is facing the same as your mil, a retirement facing being a carer which must be so hard. And yes I'm glad I don't drink now!!

@toomanygreys we put my dad's forgetfulness and terrible memory down to tiredness for a good many years, as he had a high pressure job plus 3 hour commute on the motorway daily. I wish now we had questioned things earlier and got him checked out. Although as I mentioned his has been put down to a lifetime of too much wine that has done the damage

Hoping with your dad it is something like @limaloma said and maybe a uti or poss b12 defiency as both can mimic dementia like symptoms x

I'm reading this as my dad (mid 60s) is having tests at the moment. Me & my sisters have been worried for a couple of years (mum has been in denial), but he hasn't got too much worse in that time, which reassured me. The thing about B12 chimes with me though; I was B12 deficient about 20 years ago and it coincides with a terrible time in my mental health. B12 injections might make the world of difference.

OP - that thing about saying the same thing several times is a bit worrying. My mum and dad both do that. It's definitely a sign in their case. When you tell him he already told you, does he remember or is he blank?

Everyone who is worried: get checked out NOW. There are new Alzheimer's drugs around - very new - just in the last year or so, which seem to completely halt its progress. My mum is on them and she hasn;t deteriorated at all. In fact, her memory has improved. If you or yoru love dones have early stage Alzheimers, you could catch it before it gets worse, and keep it at its current level. Don't wait around.

First signs I noticed in my relative were behavioural changes. She behaved inappropriately - said awful things in a loud whisper about a bride at a wedding and swore at some children on another occasion - both of which would have been unheard of when she was well as she was very kind. Then she became paranoid and then forgetful. It was like she had an intermittent fault in the beginning but I think she only appeared ‘normal’ at times because she was so good at hiding her symptoms.

Dementia is unbelievably awful, particularly at the end. It is so frightening for sufferers as they gradually forget those around them. I have lived with both parents dying of dementia. It was heartbreaking.
A few weeks ago, there was a thread on MN involving some posters suggesting, that in order to punish a MIL, those around her tried to gas light her into thinking she had dementia. I cannot imagine anything more unkind and inappropriate. I have never felt so angry at casual cruelty on MN.
I am so sorry OP. Everyone wants to feel that there is some effective treatment for those who are diagnosed. Most elderly people will tell you dementia is the thing you fear more than anyone other illness.

My OHs dad started off with taking out the incorrect cultlery.. so he'd make tea and put out knives instead of spoons to stir with! Alzheimers is an awful disease! I hope my OH escapes it...

It took a long time to discover my Nan’s dementia. It was only after my grandad died that it became more obvious. He was the one who ran the house and dealt with her forgetfulness, I guess.

Her forgetfulness and inability to function was initially dismissed as a grief reaction by some family members, but it was much more than that.

Early signs were losing things and ringing my mum in a panic about it. She’d fixate on things like jewellery and clothes usually. She would hide things “for safe keeping” and then forget where she’d put them. She also accused one of her grandsons and one of her DILs of stealing (thankfully, not to their faces).

Dad 79 has recently been diagnosed with (supposedly early stage) Vascular Dementia. He has had a few episodes in the last 12 months of confusion low blood pressure, inability to move speak which was put down to a water infection by hospital and GP’s. He lives with my mum similar age who is ok more mobile but obviously stressed and my brother. They are getting by just my mum rarely goes out (doesn’t drive, has no interests, she’s nervous and lost all confidence) brother and myself and sister all help with food shopping and taking dad to hospital visits etc.
Dad has a fairly new car (which obviously he can’t drive but he hasn’t sold yet). The home is their own but bought through some sort of scheme whereby i think it would go back to whoever they bought it with after my parents day rather than the family. Goodness knows where that would leave my poor brother who is partially disabled and works part time in a very low paid job. In case dad has to go into a home or anything if my mum can no longer cope what would happen to the house? I need to see the paper work ASAP going up on Sunday and get things in order incase things worsen quicker than anticipated. Wonder if my mum and maybe my brother can get some sort of allowance as they are taking it in turns worrying, watching and keeping an eye on my dad? He is unsteady on his feet, is confused some of the time, isn’t able to wash himself properly (but won’t accept help), needs incontinence pants (has accidents day and night), he can walk but has gone from being very fit to shuffling most of the time in 12 months and has a headache most days. I want to help them both and my brother.
Any and all advice appreciated I am completely new to this I have heard about Power of Attorney, Carers Allowance and Attendance Allowance but really don’t know where to start. Is their an impartial agency to advise or a good website?
Thanks

Sorry I meant to do this as a new post. Sorry OP.

Often the earliest signs are becoming unreasonable about simple things in my experience