Vasectomy

[Naetha]

I'm trying to persuade DH to have the snip, but he's (understandably) put off by thoughts of pain - both short and long term

How many men have had the snip and had it followed by untratable pain for more than 6 months?

Is it really that bad?

DH also has post vasectomy pain, aches etc after vigorous sex - too much jiggling of the goolies makes him ache for days.
He's been back tot he Dr on several occasions, had his testicles scanned and they just said it's one of those things. One is also now much higher than it was before.

DH had a vasectomy two days ago. I will not be showing him this thread. We, however, did look in to all the possible complications, and DH still felt it was the best thing in our situation. He has some pain and swelling, but nothing horrendous, and the incisions are barely visible.

...and I sympathise mookle but I know soooooo many men who refuse to do it cos "ONE of their mates" had a bad experience.... not sure about the statistics, but seems it's ok for men not to have the snip cos "one of their friends" had a bad experience, vs the number of women who experience pain and discomfort during/after childbirth. Show me the stats that say "poor men" and I'll back down.

lilo - I think you've gotm me wrong, I'm not saying vasectomies are the worst things but the OP asked for examples of men were pain persisted beyond 6 months. Thats all I'm contributing - an example. Before DH had the snip believe me I thought it was disgusting that men were "too soft" about their danglies to get a vasectomy when the equivalent for a woman is major surgery - but life has a way of showing you things aren't always so simple. I'm just adding another perspective not saying men shouldnt have them. I think the statistics are pretty much as you say - a very small % have problems as compared to either childbirth or sterilisation.

There are potential complications in all surgery and it is only sensible to consider those risks.

I offered to have a vasectomy but DW said no because she thinks that no one should have an operation that is not absolutely necessary.

TBH the risks of vasectomy are not spelled out at all well. It is presented to men as a risk free operation and the risk of long term chronic pain is never made explicit. I do not think it is at all helpful to slag men off for being concerned about that.

I feel annoyed by the way it is talked about on MN as some kind of pay back for pain in childbirth.

My h and me have discussed this and we have decided it is a no no for us - i would not ever ask him to have this done, not based on any logic at all but i know he would feel really damaged by having this done.

I have to agree with you Beenbeta - I naively thought that vasectomies were a really risk free op. But the risks of post op pain (ongoing)are not pointed out at all.

I never actually wanted DH to have the snip - he did it as a freaked out reaction to my birth problems , and I argued against it becuase I knew I'd want more DC at some point in the future- but never in a million years did I think it would turn out how it did. Neither did he for that matter!

I showed him this thread and his reaction was Dont do it! I know thats obviously the skewed opinion of someone who its gone wrong for but like you say - to ignore the potential risks and be uninformed seems daft. Its certainl had very long reaching effects on our lives and relationship

mookle - more or less the same scenario for me. DW had been very ill and I wanted to make sure she would not get pregant again by accident.

When I offered to have the vasectomy I had no idea of the potential complications. It was only when DW was adamant that she did not want me to have it done that I went off and did a lot of research. I was shocked when I compared the standard advice given out on things like the NHS Direct website and by what I read elsewhere with more comprehensive data on long term side effects.

It seems to me that if it really is 10-30% of men that have long term pain/side effects that is quite a high risk. It seems from the posts in this thread that the medical profession is not exactly keen to acknowledge that either. I live with chronic incurable prostate/bladder pain due to another condition and I really would not wish it on anyone.

Having said that I would not be at all happy for DW to have to take hormonal contraception either. Men do also need to step up to the plate on that issue too and not leave it to their DW/DP. It really has to be a joint decision for a couple weighing up all the net positives and negatives.

TYPO: pregnant

Beenbeta - I truly wish (and so does DH with hindsight) that Firstly, we had been given the proper and realistic info about the post op issues or failing that we both wish DH had reserched it more - however 8 years ago we did not have a computer, and with it, the access to info that might have changed his mind. So I guess thats why I felt I should post on here, I know that the majority of those undergoing the op will be "ok" but for those that aren't the shock of finding out the many ways in which post op issues can affect your life/relationship is worth talking about.

I also think your last paragraph is very true.

I agree Mookle and BeenBeta. We had no clue about the potential problems that could occur and the information on aftercare was virtually non-existant. When things started to go wrong (well even more wrong since the op itself went wrong) neither of us had a clue that this was a haematoma. We were worried DH has developed an infection. When we found out on the internet how common this was we were shocked that men are not warned.

DH could go back and have the op completed under a general anaesthetic but I have decided to be sterilized instead. I am quite happy with this decision.

I don't think contributors are ignoring the pain and potential complications of childbirth - I guess we have all first-hand experience of that! The point is that, whilst the vasectomy is medically a simple procedure - typically taking 20 minutes - you are working on a very sensitive area with some very large nerves (inguinal) which are often interfered with which can leave a lasting discomfort in the groin area. Doctors recognise this risk, but don't discuss it pre-op. Also, the mechanics of cutting the vas tube can often lead to a swelling in the epydidimus area caused by the build up of sperm which has nowhere to go. This can cause either congestive epydidimitis, or a sperm granuloma (where the pressure finally ruptures the vas tube - often forming hard lumps in the scrotum). The latter of these occurs in around 60% of cases. Also, the long-term risks include a doubling in the risk of developing kidney stones, up to an 80% chance of the man's body becoming immune to his own sperm (which means that most vasectomy reversals fail). And, as I said before, there is always the risk of psychological damage too - as in my DH's case. As you can see, I have done my homework on this (wish I didn't have to), and I would invite anyone who refutes any of the points to check it out for themselves. Having an unwanted pregnancy is not good, and needs to be discussed with your DP. In my opinion, forcing your DP against his will to have a vasectomy as the only option is not right, and not the action of a loving partner. My advice would be to talk this over carefully, and attend any pre-op counselling session offered. In our case, we chatted aabout it without knowing what it involved, and my DH ticked the opt-out box in the counselling sheet (without knowing what he didnt know. Unfortunately when things went wrong later, he found out, and that these risks were all known about by the medical profession - (although initially the help and advice provided post-operatively by the NHS was woeful). I was most shocked by this single statistic - between 10 - 30% of procedures result in chronic pain or discomfort! My DH was surprised to learn from other men afterwards, that many also had negative experiences. But we all know how men don't like to talk about these kinds of things to other blokes, and he is now convinced that these kinds of issues are much under-reported. Do you homework, and make an INFORMED decision. Hope this helps.

scottmumof2 - that is a very good post and full of important information.

I suffer occassional congestive epididymitis (for another reason) and it hurts a lot. I cannot imagine having it every day. I read that it can be eliminated by completely removing the epididymis. If your DH suffers from congestive epididymitis it may be worth considering complete removal as a solution although of course I could understand him being very reluctant given what has happened.

I hope he finds a solution and that he comes to terms with what has happened.

Many thanks for your supportive post BeenBeta. My DH does suffer from pain in the epididymis area, but it seems to be lessening over time (around 2 years) and the swelling has reduced from the size of a grape to raisin (sorry for analogy!). Doctors did suggest removing the epididimis about a year ago if it continued to bother him, and you are very perceptive, the thought of having the medical profession revisit the 'scene of the crime' freaked DH out. He is now left with a fairly constant numb feeling around his groin and upper thigh (left side) - possibly due to nerve damage caused during the Op. Studies have shown that removal of the epididimis in most cases where epididimytis is not clearly the issue, has no effect in relieving discomfort, and can in fact make matters worse.

I hope you also find relief from your ailments.

marking thread for DH to read. feel this one will scare him less than the one i started.

or maybe not.

which is you thread?

Great post scottishmumof2 - just to add - we were never offered any form of pre-op counselling and DH was told it was basically all in his head any pain/problems he was having as vasectomies categorically do not cause any problems!! We suspect he had congestive epydidimitis, as a lump formed in his scrotum and when we had the vasectomy reversed, he had 100% anti-sperm antibodies.

I think under-reporting is a huge issue as even with all the problems he suffered DH had to be forced to go to the GP - only to be told it was all in his head. So there is no record of any treatment ever being given to DH and therefore unlikely to be any statistic relating to the years of pain and problems he suffered.

And yes, psychological damage is almost inevitable in this situation. DH is much changed in his attitude to sex. Not something either of us like to admit to but has caused huge issues for us - particularly after having the procedure reversed and trying for more DC's. It really has ruined our sex life to be blunt. We ended up having IVF with ICSI to conceieve again.

www.vasectomy-information.com/index.htm

great site for information and myht dispelling

I had sex under 3 hours after my op.

I'm in day 2 now and have some discomfort but it really is nothing.