Hi DaDaDa,
Mr Gumbo here. Got to agree with her its the best thing I have done, apart from marrying her of course and one did lead to the other.
I gave up work April last year to look after DS, Had a bad day at work and it was an easy decision to make. But I must admit I didn't really think about it that much.
My experience so far has been mostly good - yes there are days when its hard but these are few and far between.
Your concerns are all valid and if I spent too much time thinking about them DS would be full time in a Nursery and I'd still be driving 200 plus miles a day.
*Once I leave my job (it's creatively fulfilling, but vacuous) I won't be able to go back, as technology will move on. How will future employers view my 'sabbatical'.
Technology may move on but if you can adapt to it now why can't you in the future. I worked in IT where change happens all the time, I started working part time 4 months ago and the basics haven't really changed but 20 years experience means that even if I don't know the latest technology I can apply what I do know and leant it quicker that someone just starting out.
Do you any option to do part time work. DS loves going to nursery 2 days a week and its good for me as well.
I've now made what could be a mistake and said yes to a second part time job, think its that fear factor kicking in and not wanting to turn down an opportunity. Have to see how it goes.
*Will my DW's perception of me change when I'm not working (she's adamant it won't but...)
You may not be earning money but you will be working!
*Will DW become jealous of the time I spend with DS
Will you become jealouse of the time she spends at work with adults ?
DW always does bath and bedtime with DS and this is her special time with him. On the rare occasions when I do put him to bed he has to tell me what I'm meant to do. I never knew he had to take all 3 ducks and a crocodile to bed with him but you learn something new everyday.
Your role will change and you will be the lucky one to get first words, first steps (if you haven;t already), all the great stuff that makes my life, well great. You will also get the tantrums, the afternoons of crying for no reason, projectile vomiting, the nappy from hell, biting, hitting, watching Balamory, singing Boogy Beebees songs as you walk in the park.
*We can manage finacially on one salary (just) at the moment, but what if we have a 2nd child as we hope.
Since taking the easy option my attidude to money has changed completly. 3 years ago we were the perfect yuppy couple, two 2 seaters, boat, holidays to nice places when we could remember to take them, I worked out I used to spend £100/month on motorway coffee. What a waste.
We are lucky that we do have savings in the bank, but we do live to a budget and enjoy it. It s a challenge to see how little I can spend and still have a good time. It sounds a bit twee but I've simplified my life and concentrate on what is important. You can manage you just have to adapt - and enjoy.
Lasty I would say that winter is a crap time for the SAHP (is that the correct non gender specific version). Summer is easy because its just nice being outside, but winter is cold wet and dark. I ended up spending alot of last winter in Soft Play areas, which are great and much better than the gym. Main problem was DS pulling off his socks but cured that by getting him some tights (recommended).
Do you have any sort of support group you can tap into. We are new to our area but I had great support from our NCT group.
It can get very lonley and you need to accept that you are joining a female world where you will not always be greeted with open arms. I tried to join a play group in January and was told that there was a waiting list to which I was added. I'm still waiting for the call and I know that other people have joined since then. The most accepting people I have found are grandparents looking after their grand children, I guess they don't fit in either. Won't say who the worse are.
Go on - be brave and do it. You will never have your DS at this age again.