How do you stay sane while querying agents?

[CakeRage]

I finished my first book earlier this year (after saying for years I was going to write it), and started submitting to agents 3 weeks ago.

I’ve had a couple of replies, both really encouraging, but ultimately both rejections, and I feel like I’m losing my marbles. How do you keep it together while waiting? Not sure I can take the emotional rollercoaster

The first agent replied within hours to ask for the full manuscript, emailed again the following day to say she was halfway through and absolutely blown away by it, then a few days later to say she did love it, but thought it needed a few changes making. I revised the whole thing (10,000 extra words of work), then she replied just to say it wasn’t working, and she wouldn’t be taking it further.

To be honest I’ve been pretty gutted by it. How do you stop the little judgy voice in your head which tells you you were an idiot for getting your hopes up?

The second agent replied to say she was really impressed by my writing, but didn’t feel I was a good fit for her list at the moment, and recommended another agent (different agency) who she thought would like it. I handled that one much better, even though I guess it was more of an abrupt no.

Please tell me how you cope with this stage - or come commiserate with me at its horribleness!

(Sorry for my crazed rambling - feeling all my feelings this week!)

Should have added that's the problem I'm having, I think it is darker than the authors that you've mentioned, so I am struggling to place it.

Some might say that it is interesting to be different but that doesn't make it marketable. Really, I never wrote it to publish it for others but it seems like a waste now and I'd really like to publish it one way or another. I didn't think about the commercial value of it when I was writing it, I just knew that I had to write it.

@Daphnesmate would it fit into inspirational fiction? You said it tackles some gritty issues?

The problem I think you'll have if self publishing is does it fit into contemporary or historical? For example even womens fiction will still ask you to choose which one it fits into.

I would do a hunt in the Amazon categories and see if you can find something where your book fits (even if it's not completely perfect).

It might also give you ideas of where it would sit alongside on a physical bookshelf?

Thank you themental, I research inspirational fiction. I suppose if I had to choose, I would say more contemporary than historical but this would do the historical part injustice.

I've done 4 more submissions. Tally is now: 13 rejections including 2 of the full. Waiting to hear from 15 others, 1 of which has the full.

I am so sick of reading my own pitch.

Good luck with your new submissions NJ. I know what you mean about the pitch. I don’t want to change mine too much because it seems to be working ok, but god, I’m so bored with reading it!

Another day in limbo for me - of all the agents I emailed on Friday to nudge about the full, only one replied, she sent a sweet note which basically just said she’d get to my query as quickly as she could, and to let her know if anything else happens. Trying to distract myself from it and not obsess about anything, but it’s not easy!

I think that's the worst part isn't it - the constant re-reading and second-guessing. I entered a competition a few months back where the prize was representation with a reputable agency and just heard back today that while I didn't win, they really liked my submission and it was one of the longlisted entries. They ended by encouraging me to submit to the agency and mention my submission from the competition, which was very nice but it would've obviously been much nicer to win! Nevertheless it's given me a much-needed boost and I'm going to get back on the horse and send out a whole bunch this week. What scares me is the finality of it - one shot, and that's it!

It must be even worse to have your hopes raised when a full is requested. This thread is great, let's keep encouraging each other

Oh wow, that’s really encouraging! Sounds like a great thing to be able to add to a query letter.

Good luck with your submissions

Have you sent the submission prompted by the competition yet, PhD? It sounds really promising!

Oooh, I hadn't even thought to add it to my query letter - will go back now and add it in. I haven't yet done the submission as I only just received the email today so will try and do it tonight.

Question, do you generally address the agent by first name or Ms/Mr surname? I've seen both and am not sure which is better!

I go for Ms/Mr Surname because I believe, if in doubt, err on the side of formality. I should think 'Dear Jane Smith' would be OK though, but 'Dear Jane' might look a bit pushy. That's just my view and I'd be interested to hear what others think.

I normally go for ‘Dear Jane Smith’, as a lot of the time I find you’re submitting to a general email address, and I want to be absolutely sure it’s going to the right agent.

It feels a bit awkward doing it, but I hope they’ll find it useful at their end!

If they then contact me directly, I find they go with ‘Dear Firstname’, so I do the same

I go for Ms/Mr Surname because I believe, if in doubt, err on the side of formality. I should think 'Dear Jane Smith' would be OK though, but 'Dear Jane' might look a bit pushy. That's just my view and I'd be interested to hear what others think.

I agree and actually do this for all business emails where I don't already know the recipient - but I sign them Norma Jeanne, so they then write back, "Dear Norma Jeanne" which puts us on a first-name basis.

If it's a general submissions email rather than a personal email, I put their name in the subject line, e.g. Norma Jeanne Baker ALL ABOUT MARILYN FAO Amanda Agent.

If it's a personal email for Amanda Agent then I put SUBMISSION Norma Jeanne Baker ALL ABOUT MARILYN.

BTW got another form rejection today, or rather tonight. At 10.20 pm! Agents never rest.

Good luck with your submission Phd, I agree it sounds very promising.

Yes, I do similar in my subject lines unless the submission guidelines specify something else.

Another form rejection, sent quite late last night and in my spam folder this morning.

Any news from anyone else?

Not a sausage this end. Radio silence again this week.

No word from the two fulls, but the first one said she was halfway through a month ago, so I’m guessing the lack of contact there is not a good thing. The second made it sound as if she wasn’t going to start reading right away, so less concerned about that one, but still not expecting to hear anything from her any time soon.

Total radio silence here too!

Hope some positive news comes your way soon everyone.

I am planning to submit my novel to agents in early September, so I'm watching this thread with interest. Not sure how I'm going to handle rejections but the fact that many posters on this thread are doing so, gives me courage to try in the first place.

Elizabeth Gilbert gives some advice about rejections in her book Big Magic, which I found helpful. She says that she always treated a rejection like a tennis ball which you had to bat back over the net - i.e. send out another query somewhere else. So I did just that and sent another submission last night.

Nothing today so far from agents, but a kind friend may be able to get me an introduction at an agency which is currently closed to submissions. Here's the twist - the agent's first name is the feminine version of my MC's name! E.g., if he's Henry, she's Henrietta. Will it be a perfect match, like Papageno and Papagena in the Magic Flute? Or another dead end? Keep reading the thread to find out!

Ha! Another name conundrum! I love it. Any kind of intro to an agency sounds fab, too.

I like the idea of batting back the rejections. It makes you feel as if you’re doing something proactive. I do the same whenever I’ve had enough of the silence!

Would you recommend reading Big Magic norma?

I listened to some of the podcast and really loved it. Also I know people were slating eat pray love on the other thread, but after being completely scathing about it in theory, I read it at a very ‘outside perfect life, inside mental chaos’ point and really loved it. I think she’s a good egg.

@Sickofphd That sounds really promising that the agency have asked you to submit to them. Do you mind my asking which competition you entered?

Merryweather yes I would recommend Big Magic, it was inspiring and interesting to read some of the backstory to the success of Eat Pray Love.

Sorry for the late reply @HollowTalk, it was a BME-specific writing competition. I've been on holiday so haven't yet done the submissions I was planning to - need to get to it!

Let's hope this week brings some good news for us all...or at least some news at all!

PhD if your agency wasn't this one you should submit to them, as they're looking to sign writers from under-represented backgrounds.

Silence, silence and more silence What’s a girl got to do to get a form rejection or two? Only one agent out of eleven even responded to my nudge about the full. I find the silence the most stressful part of all.

On the bright side, I’m finally making some progress on book two. Anyone else got any new projects in the pipeline?