How do you stay sane while querying agents?

[CakeRage]

I finished my first book earlier this year (after saying for years I was going to write it), and started submitting to agents 3 weeks ago.

I’ve had a couple of replies, both really encouraging, but ultimately both rejections, and I feel like I’m losing my marbles. How do you keep it together while waiting? Not sure I can take the emotional rollercoaster

The first agent replied within hours to ask for the full manuscript, emailed again the following day to say she was halfway through and absolutely blown away by it, then a few days later to say she did love it, but thought it needed a few changes making. I revised the whole thing (10,000 extra words of work), then she replied just to say it wasn’t working, and she wouldn’t be taking it further.

To be honest I’ve been pretty gutted by it. How do you stop the little judgy voice in your head which tells you you were an idiot for getting your hopes up?

The second agent replied to say she was really impressed by my writing, but didn’t feel I was a good fit for her list at the moment, and recommended another agent (different agency) who she thought would like it. I handled that one much better, even though I guess it was more of an abrupt no.

Please tell me how you cope with this stage - or come commiserate with me at its horribleness!

(Sorry for my crazed rambling - feeling all my feelings this week!)

Gah, polite rejections are the worst because you think 'I really, really like you!'

Onward and upwards.

Heres another comp that looks pretty good:
www.curtisbrowncreative.co.uk/first-novel-prize/?fbclid=IwAR3X7E4NFgTKI6FcSGB29Fd36UuYJtzp9Q9A-sESv6eks4PjyFHvuQ5oEZs

Thanks for that, Helmet! That looks like a good one. Might be a good opportunity for me to crack on with book 2, as you don’t need to have finished it.

Another rejection, wow. Thick and fast this week!

‘Nicely written but not quite special enough’ which feels more brutal than it was probably intended to be.

Seasoned writers, how do you deal with the constant cutting dents in your self esteem? How do you keep writing in the face of them? Is it enough for you to think you’re good enough? I’m losing faith.

Oh its grim, Cake, my sympathies.

It always felt like they were saying, "I love you, but I'm not in love with you,' or 'I like you but I don't fancy you.' :(

Rejection is an integral part of being a writer. Even when you've got a couple of books under your belt, your ideas and your stories still might get rejected...you can wallow for a bit, but then you do have to move on. You are good enough - you only have to look at some of the rubbish that gets published to know that. :) It's just getting lucky and getting it right at the right moment. Keep hustling.

While you're waiting, are you working on your next book?

Also - wait til your books gets published and then you get hammered in the reviews...you just have to get on with it.

Disputed, I missed that you've had an offer of rep. Bloody well done - whatever you decide.

I really do think small agents are the way forwards. I've heard a couple of agent horror stories recently - and they all involve larger/established agents.

The inventing an interested agent is fine in theory, but the others often ask - and they usually know each other. Very incestous industry. You have to be careful not to fuck people off because v. quickly people will know.

Oh man, ‘I love you but I’m not in love with you’ is so accurate! I have this idea in my head that I’m going to be so noble and resilient in the face of rejection, and for the first few minutes I am, but then before long I’m questioning my whole existence, haha.

It’s not been a good year generally, a lot has happened to knock my confidence, so I turned to writing because it was the one thing I knew I was good at. So that worked out well...

I’m on chapter 2 of my second book, but not making progress at any great speed. I need a rocket under my arse really, or something like NaNoWriMo which is how I got through the majority of the first one. I love the idea I’ve got, but I keep second guessing everything now. Is the hook hooky enough? Is it marketable? Are my characters distinctive enough? Is it too much like book 1?

Hope everyone else is having a better week, anyway. Any good news to report?

Not a sausage here. I've only really got two subs still 'out' because my others are time-expired now. I've been brainstorming ways to rewrite my pitch before sending any more out, and I'm still pondering a title change.

Helmet, forgive my ignorance, but what do you mean by small agents? I’m not hugely knowledgeable about the agent scene, and I’ve chosen mine based on genre and interests without having the foggiest whether they’re a big fancy agency or not!

Is there any chance you could give examples of smaller ones? Sorry if this is a stupid question!

Thank you, @Helmetbymidnight. I now have another agent in the mix.

@CakeRage, I totally sympathise. I’ve had a difficult couple of years too. I remember at one point storming through a wet field listening to Chumbawumba’s ‘Tub- Thumping’ on replay. If it’s the slightest help, bear in mind that my novel that’s had offers is exactly the same novel that’s had form rejections from other agents. The whole thing is so subjective.

Brilliant, Disputed! What a position to be in!

Yes, I didn't express that very well, Cake. What I meant was some agents are really big names and with fantastic (deservedly) reputations - but what that can mean is that you are very small fry in a place that is dealing with a lot of big fish. Among people I know: one author was kind of ignored by her super-busy agent, and another re-wrote, re-wrote and re-wrote, and then the agent said she couldn't possibly send it out. It might be that a newer/more hungry agent will be more able to give a debut author the guidance we all need.
But now I worry that I've panicked you - ALL agent interest is good - and I jumped at the first (only?) one who was interested!

Oh don’t worry, I’m not fretting. Just wondering if I’ve inadvertently tried to knock on some big doors when smaller ones may have been more inviting

That said, all my positive responses have come from agencies with more agents - not sure if that corresponds with them being big and fancy or not!

Anyway, I’ve finished wallowing and have got my big girl pants back on this morning, but thanks for indulging me yesterday. It’s not easy for us sensitive artists, is it?

Yes, a big agency with lots of newer, ambitious agents is ideal. (IMHO)

It's shit, but keep focused. You've had interest - you're clearly doing something right...

Thanks. It’s difficult to keep perspective in the moment, isn’t it, but considering how many people submit to these agents, all of those of us who even get a single full request should be proud of ourselves. I have a friend who’s been submitting his books for ten years and never ever got so much as a personalised rejection.

Onwards and upwards is right

I’ve been following this thread but feel compelled to comment with my own experience in the hope it’s of some help to you.

After I’d finished my first novel I immediately sent it out to my chosen publishers - all 130k words of it. Flat rejections all round. I did a HUGE edit and dropped a lot of the excess weight - it’s a ghost story/suspense thriller so needed to be pacey. I entered loads of competitions and won a bursary for a TLC read - this all went into my agent letter and then I sent it out again. The next day an agent called me. I couldn’t believe it! He seemed interested and his agency was small but prestigious. I ended up signing a contract and then he told me all the changes he wanted me to make which would essentially turn it into a really standard thriller with a contrived storyline about a missing will. In the end I managed to escape the contract because it was clear that while he liked the way I wrote, he just didn’t like the story I’d written.

So back to submitting. I had some interest, some form rejections. I started writing a second book, because I was already desperate to distance myself from the one I was sending out. I’m unsure how many rejections I managed to earn - last count was about 27.

THEN! A phone call from a new agent at a huge agency. She LOVED the book. Couldn’t wait to take me on. The agent organised an agency meeting in London with all the different teams (translation, film rights) and they all said the same thing - this book is going to be HUGE, we loved it. I signed with them and the agent took the book to the Frankfurt book fair and started submitting to publishers. How exciting! She told me we were anticipating a bidding war! I couldn’t breathe! And then...and then...nothing. Publishers liked it, but not enough. One had another book similar already in her list. On and on it went. My brilliant agent, who believed in the book so much then moved onto submissions in America. It had been nine months of publisher rejections at this point. I’d finished my second novel and sent it to her. She wrote back to say she didn’t think she could sell it (not a strong hook!) Oh. We’ll keep going with the first book she said, don’t be disheartened.

A YEAR after we started submitting to publishers she had a call. Someone wanted it. They were offering me a two book deal. I’d given up on this book but she never had. All being well, it comes out next year. It’s exciting but it’s also a grind. You need to keep pushing ahead. Don’t wait for agents, start writing the next novel. It’s alright to feel hurt and disappointed and (in my case) extremely bitter. The best advice I received was that you need to keep moving forward.

I wish you all luck and don’t forget YOU’VE WRITTEN A NOVEL. Do you understand how impressive that is? You’ve created characters and a whole world which never existed before you conjured them up. It’s hard fucking work. Celebrate that!

That’s really interesting, @Sisquatch. So you were able to get out of the first agent contract early — was that by mutual agreement? I’m querying agents at the moment and thinking about the crappy predicament of potentially being tied in to a two year contract with someone who can’t sell your book.

Hearing that your good agent didn’t think she could sell your second novel must have been incredibly tough. Did it eventually become book two of the contract? I’m impressed your agent was still selling book one a year on... Do you know how many editors she’d sent it to?

Helmet and Sisquatch, thank you for your stories.

The Curtis Brown competition does look good, but CB rejected me over a year ago (form rejection, which they sent twice for some reason). The opening chapters have been revised since but neither chapters nor book are significantly different, so do I bother entering?

I remember at one point storming through a wet field listening to Chumbawumba’s ‘Tub- Thumping’ on replay.

I live in London Disputed but mentally, this is exactly where I'm at. Current tally: 19 rejections, 1 expired, 1 agent has full (I've all but given up on her, she's had it for ages), haven't heard from 9 and about to do another submission.

Cake hang in there!

StressToy Yeah, that second book was a hard blow. I've shelved it for now, and written something entirely different which fortunately she seems to like. Speaking to my editor about it on Monday please God let her feel the same! Then I'm back to square one, need to find another publisher with a different book again. My agent is absolutely tenacious, and it helped that she believed so wholeheartedly in this book, long after I'd given up on it. I can't believe she kept going. Something like 12 publishers had passed on it that I know of but it could have been higher. The worst thing is that you think once you get an agent that things will get easier and the rejections will end. I wasn't prepared for so many, many more!

I've since discovered that my first agent is notorious in the industry for being an arse - I think it was a lucky escape more than anything. He wanted so much of the book to be different that it became clear we were at odds with each other. I was desperate for an agent but I couldn't get behind something I hated. As no payment had changed hands I wrote to him and told him I was effectively ending the contract and he NEVER WROTE BACK as he is a sulker, and then I gracefully waited two months before re-submitting.

A word on re-submitting - I doubt this is advised but when I did my HUGE rewrite after the first round of submissions I renamed the novel, changed the perspective it was written from, gave the synopsis an overhaul and resubmitted to the same agents and had a few requests for full from people who had previously passed me over. It happens.

Gosh, maybe I’ve been too punctilious. I submitted an earlier version of the novel I’m querying agents with several years ago — far too early, with hindsight — and though it’s been completely rewritten, retitled, has dropped one narrator etc, and in fact does not retain a single sentence from the old version, I haven’t felt I could resubmit to any agents who saw the previous version...

Good for you, @Sisquatch. I admire your tenacity with it all! What was the time scheme of all this? How long from the finishing of novel one to its eventual publication?

Wow, I really enjoyed your story, Sisquatch! So pleased you’ve finally managed to get a deal, it must have been quite a rollercoaster.

Fingers crossed that your editor likes the new book!

StressToy I sent mine out far too early too - the finished piece is a completely different entity. As far as I was concerned it was a completely different novel and no-one picked up on it.

I started writing the book in 2014 and finished in 2015. I got (and lost!) my first agent in 2016 and the second in early 2017. Novel was sold this year with publication scheduled for 2020. So, a long time. I really had to take a step back from it and get on with other work otherwise the waiting would have driven me mad. Something I learned - there are a lot of big event bookfairs throughout the year in various countries and they tie agents up during those times. Worth remembering that these are slow periods for agents replying to you!

Interesting that the CB comp doesn't require a finished novel. I might try to use this as a motivation to get a bit more done on book 2 and enter with that instead. I haven't sent book 1 to CB yet so I can still do that if book 2 gets nowhere.

Sisquatch Really interesting journey, thank you for sharing!

My latest, just for the solidarity!

"Unfortunately this manuscript isn't a good match for our list. There's a lot to like, but ultimately we don't feel the level of enthusiasm that would be necessary to proceed further."

In OLD terms, this would be, 'Well, you're sentient and solvent and not actually physically repugnant, but I don't fancy you enough for a second date.'

Had to laugh at that, sorry StressToy! It’s pitiful, isn’t it? Maybe we could give them a masterclass in writing rejections without shattering our hearts and dreams?

I’ve had a couple which were really simple and just said ‘we enjoyed reading but didn’t think you were a good fit for our list/didn’t feel we were the right agency to represent you’ which is a bit more ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ but I have to say, it worked for me. Definitely the least demoralising, anyway!