I have a new critique partner. But...

[belledechocchipcookie]

There's no easy way to put this. She read a chapter of my work first. She got the genre wrong (it's a fantasy, not a sci fi), Ok, I can live with that. She's said she's not read all of it as it got a little too scary for her (it's a children's book). She said she loved my writing though, cool I though and wants to read more of my work but isn't willing to spend a lot of time helping me as it's 'not her genre'. Then she sent me a book she was working on. She's not sure if it 'safe' for children to read. It's dire. Most of the book is about a child feeling sick, the story starts 3/4 of the way through, it's flat and it's too short. There's so much wrong with it and I'd feel bad telling her all of this, is there an easy way to put it? I'm not an expert but I've read a lot of books.

I still need a critique partner Any suggestions? Thank you.

Hey, we could all be delusional, but given that you've had positive feedback from a publisher, I'd say you're probably in the non-delusional 10%. I'm hoping that because I've just had a short story published, I'm also non-delusional , but who knows?

I'm actually maybe being a bit harsh, but I went to a talk by a well known British agent, and one of the questions was about the slush pile. He said that 90%-95% of the submissions he receives are just total non-starters, another 5% show some promise, and less than 1% are anywhere close to publishable standard. Even then, only about 10% of those will be commercially viable.

Bride, as I said I've read the prologue. I would buy it for DNephew when he's older (only just 4), or at least I'd buy the tweaked and edited version - there is definite potential; Belle's writing has flair and originality and the bit I've read hints that the plot will be exciting and dramatic.

It's perfectly OK purple There's a couple of typos in the first chapter, a missed word and an added word that's unnecessary somewhere else. Just to warn you.

I'm still waiting for 'proper' feedback (sobs). Congratulations on getting your story published, that's brilliant. You must be really proud. I'd put myself in the 'show some promise' category. I just need an agent who has the time to help me improve it. Hard as they don't have the time, so I'm trying to do it myself. It's all learning. I read one MS which had 54 exclamation marks on one page. I don't know how agents do it, I can understand why they put some straight into the slush pile without reading them.

You're going to make me cry purple. Thank you, that's a lovely thing to say. If it's ever published, you're on my list for a signed first edition.

I can send you a picture book text to test on your DNephew if you want?

I mean 'proper' feedback on the picture books from the editor at the publishers.

Feel free to guide me as to what kind of crit you are looking for - at the moment, you're getting unqualified opinions from a lay person so it's a learning experience for me too!

Happy to test younger stuff on DN, he's just done his first term in Reception and is very much the youngest, so anything to encourage him to read is good. He can read and write the letters of the alphabet, and apparently knows his "phonics alphabet" whatever that means Is that about right for his age? Or useful in working out if what you've written is aimed at his level?

The picture books are for the under 5s or there abouts. Parents will usually read them to their children. He's where he should be for his age group and the phonics alphabet is about learning to read letters by saying how they sound (a= ay, b=bee, c= see etc). I taught my son to read like this, say how the letters sound then say them again without the space.

The kind of critique I need. Hmm. I can't see words that I repeat or miss out. I can read over and over again but because I'm so close to the story I can't see the mistakes. Any error in the plot, whether it's consistent as well will really help. If Bob has brown hair in chapter 1 which is black in chapter 4. Overuse of 'the wet rain drizzled from the sky' Rain's wet and falls from the sky so it's fairly obvious and unnecessary. Oh, and anything else you can think of

I've sent you a little something Purple

I'll keep going as I am then, when I get a chance I'll read a chapter and comment

I love the picture books! Bit of a sudden ending for Ogie, but that'll be stretched out when it's got some pictures.

Martha is awesome i love her! I also love that you've managed to get a plot twist into a kids picture book!

I've forwarded the email to DP to read. Have you got an artist, or is that the next challenge?

Cool, I'm so pleased you like them. The publisher will find their own artist if they want them. I really love Martha, I can see great things a head for her (fingers crossed). Plot twists are fun, I have a great time thinking of things for her.

DP is very impressed too (English Lang grad) he thinks DN will definitely like them! I might print them off and read them to him next time he visits, if that doesn't breach your copyright?

Oh, . Thank you. Feel free to do that, just don't send them to any publishers or I shall be in trouble.

I won't

Thank you. I need to earn some money from these (laughs). I'll send you some signed first editions (if they ever get that far), you can flog them in eBay if I ever get to be as famous as JK Rowling

I'll stick 'em in a safe as an inheritance for DNephew/any kids DP and I have

I have early edition HP's, matching set of seven I think my Philosopher's Stone is reprint 17 (pretty damn early) I keep meaning to find out what they're worth!

Aww, OK.

I have copies of first editions that publishers have sent me, they are not signed and not things I would usually read. I'm going to save them. I'm not sure what edition my HP's are, they are all well loved by ds though. The first edition of a debut book is always worth more (if it goes on to be a hit), they tend to print a thousand or so to see how they sell before printing a second run. It's a risky investment for a publisher.

Mine are in good condition, although have been read. I started collecting when they first came out, I was 17 and working in the local library on a Saturday so got a bit of a heads up! I didn't really pay attention until 4 came out and they started making the first movie, then decided it might be worth taking care of them

Would you consider self-publication on Kindle?

Ds started reading them when he was 5. I'd had the first book for a few years before, it's not a first edition though.

I may self publish the novel if I can't find a publisher for it. I did have one interested, they wanted to see it again after a rewrite but they really messed me around over the picture books so I'm going to send it elsewhere and see what happens. I can't self publish the picture books, they are too expensive to print and wouldn't work on a kindle as there's no pictures. I looked into an iPad app, they are £££ though. I think children would enjoy them more in a book. There's a lot of options though.

belle - email rejection, whaddaya think?
'did not quite feel that all-important connection with your work but please do not give up'. Generic or sincere? someone who can say no nicely, anyway!

Sounds generic, I'm sorry. I once had a lovely email from an agent telling me how she physically couldn't take on any more clients as she had too many and was working all the hours that she could to support them. I subbed her again 9 months later and received the same one. Pitty.

haha you're prob right! he sent me a link with a listing for other agents too maybe he was having a bad day! onwards/upwards
good luck w your feedback

Interesting. I've not heard of that before. I'd check them all out before submitting.

Thank you, I'm hanging on.

na it's like the yellow pages! and i've probably subbed them all already snort! nn