How much cash to give for wedding gift?

[Thisistemporary]

I’m going to my first Irish wedding in about 5 years and not sure how much to give in the envelope. I went to a ton of weddings around the mid 2010’s and most people used to give around €200 per couple but I expect that’s changed with inflation and the cost of living etc.

Any advice?

They definitely will. There will be a tally of who gave what…

Bless your naivety..That is 100% NOT true, 20 years on I can remember exactly what most people gave us - a small wedding granted- and can definitely remember who gave nothing

Yes, one tend to remember who was generous and who was stingy. That being said, when I say stingy I mean well off people who give you something from their home they no longer need (we got a ciseled vase and a whisky decanteur- we don't drink whisky) from wealthy relatives 😆. Also got an ugly set of cups from my bf family. But the latter wasn't stingy, we just don't have the same taste and I know she put her heart in finding something nice so would never think less of her for it. That's key thought : it's the intention that counts imo.

Na I don’t believe in any of this ‘what should you give’ you give what you can afford. You are not there to pay a bill. You are there to celebrate with the couple. We had people give nothing, some gave £10… and so on. Made no mind to us as a we just wanted people to dance and have fun :) last wedding I went to I put £20 in a card and got a bottle of champagne

People in Ireland do not give €20, that's not how it works here.
Why can't some people accept that not everywhere does things the same way as England ... which is why this is in Craicnet 🇮🇪

I'm English, was going to say about £50 at the most, shocked at how much people are suggesting.

At what point did anyone say that everywhere works the same as England? If you’re that bothered you should have put it in your original post that you only want to hear from Irish weddings only instead of getting a bee in your bonnet when people answer a question

I'm not the OP 😆

1. It's in Craicnet 🇮🇪
2. The OP said it was an Irish wedding
3. The OP mentioned 10+ years ago they gave €200, and was wondering if this was still appropriate or should it be more

Your post talked in pounds £, suggested £20 was sufficient.... so maybe you should read the thread (or even the OP!) before answering a question.

Or I can freely give my opinion on the internet - thanks. I have no idea what craicnet is you’ve mentioned twice - I don’t frequent on here to know, it came up on my Facebook so I clicked and answered. I saw it was an Irish wedding but I didn’t realise the answers had to be strictly Irish… have a cuppa or something

We’re heading to a friend’s wedding in a few months. It’s in another part of Ireland so we will spend around £60 for fuel & £250 for accommodation (we are staying for 2 nights because it is so far). I think we will give £100 in their card - if we weren’t staying, we would give more!

Sounds about level we gave last year. I married 20 years go in Ireland but with loads of English there as that’s where I grew up.
There was a huge disparity in generosity and a lot of confusion from English friends who had never been to Ireland before - that the two places are v different 🤣 Also Irish DH and MIL had a spreadsheet to record who had given what for when we went to theirs 🙈

I'm English and DH is Irish, we got married in England 30+ years ago.

I still remember the discrepancy between the gifts given by Irish guests and British guests. I had a gift list, which MIL thought was extremely bad manners, but to me was normal - and it had things from £10 upwards so was not at all grabby.

British guests tended to stick to items on the gift list and I was delighted with that. Irish guests ignored the list (turned out MIL had been asked to pass it on, but didn't because she disapproved...) and they all gave cash, lots of cash. I was completely stunned at how generous they were, tbh, and very grateful.

It's a cultural thing, really very different between the UK and Ireland. Oh, and nobody kept a spreadsheet of what was given, thank God!

What happened to people giving tea towels and toasters?! 🤣🤣

if I was expected to give €200 for a wedding gift and my name was going to be written down with what I gifted I wouldn’t even go!

As someone explained above that's the culture for irish weddings
irish weddings are very generous with cash gifts

🙊

Jesus! Remember?there will be a tally who gave what. They’ll know, their Ma and Da and cousins will know. This is a big deal

It's not just about what you gave or receive as an individual. It's a whole family thing. My parents wanted to know how much uncle whoever gave me so they would gift exactly the same to his kids down the line. I remember having an argument because they wanted to know every amount and I said it was a need to know thing. I didn't want them forming wrong impressions of my friends based on how much they paid. It's like a convention within the family, we give the Mccarthy kids 150 each but 250 to the Walsh's. It's an element of Irish culture I really dislike, the constant battle to be the most generous and the judgment of those who are not, regardless of their financial position. Being the first in a family gives rise to so much pressure, that was me, but also has the advantage of people trying to make an impression of generosity because at that moment they don't know how many, if any more, siblings will be getting married. That was my experience anyhow, middle class family in a county town.

I’m married to an Englishman, when we got married (30 years ago), we got tea towels and lamps and sheets from the English contingent and around 100 to 150 Irish punts from everyone on my side.

oh dear…€20 is a kids birthday gift here. My ds got €20 from everyone at his party and some family. He ended up with €290.

Why is this oh dear? You give what you can afford

Because that’s not how it works in Ireland! Sorry but it’s just not…most people wouldn’t go to the wedding if they couldn’t afford to give a good contribution.

It’s €5 for the kids school parties where I am in Ireland thank goodness 😅

no one in Ireland would ever put €20 in a wedding card. If you can’t afford it don’t go

Wedding are a money spinner here. My db was surprised not to have been invited to the wedding of an acquaintance’s dd’s wedding but also relieved because even if you don’t go you’re supposed to cough up. To his chagrin he then did get an invite about three weeks before the wedding ( someone had pulled out, someone else had then been asked and they couldn’t make it so dbro got one.) They demurred, still had to cough up 200 euros and the invitation continued its merry way, gathering fruit as it went.

But is it actually being generous or is it the fear of being identified as the tight arse who gave less than 200 euros?