Poor SIL, apparently she has notions

[DurtBurd]

SIL has spent the last 18 months building a gorgeous mansion house on family land in the rural Midlands (of Ireland, for those who don't realise they've clicked on a Craicnet thread). She has decided she wants people to use her actual front door rather than coming round the back of the house and in through the utility room. It's like the barely healed civil war wounds have been hacked open. As a Dub without a back door fetish (get your mind out of the gutter), I fully support her front door notions. Dh is horrified. MIL is mortified and wondering what the neighbours will think. It's all great craic.

Obviously you don't need to knock but in my family it's polite to 'miaow'. Never realised how weird that was till I typed it out.

I love this thread. In both my parents and grandparents houses only the back door was ever used, handily enough as both were located closest to where you would park. One house faced the road but the drive went in to the side, and ours faced sideways to the road. The last person to try to get into my dad's house through the front door was the local thief who tried to jimmy the door on the day of my grandmother's funeral, not a word of a lie. She was spotted and scared away by the postman on his way past!

I applaud your name and SIL’s notions

Omg this made me laugh. We used to visit my aunt using her back door every single day. Didn't even knock. Except for when we went to hers for Christmas Dinner. That was a front door occasion.

This is one of those things that I never knew was an Irish thing!

Im from NI and always use the back/side door for family. Front door reserved for strangers and maybe Christmas Day, wedding, first communion etc.

I live in London now and most people only have a front door, so it hadn’t dawned on me that people from the English countryside don’t do this!

Say what now? Like a cat?!

More importantly, the uppity SIL is surely not considering Block Paving on the drive is she ?
And when you build on the family compound I hope you going to make sure your front door is bigger than hers. That'll teach her . Notions indeed.

As the owner of a Midland’s mansion, I’ve gone full-notions and have electric gates with cameras so I usually head visitors off before they set foot on the property. I’d say we’re the talk of the village where we’re firmly blow-ins.

In my parents’ house, we (as in their children) all use the side door. Friends, extended family, and neighbours use the backdoor. Only political canvassers use the front door. Usually ends up with them being spoken to through a window as there’s a porch at the front and the key hasn’t been present for years.

When my SIL visits, she’ll come to the side door if with my brother, but the back door if she’s on her own 🤣

My husband, a Dub, doesn’t get it. Growing up, their visitors called to the front door and were either spoken to on the step, or taken through to the “lounge”.

In my house growing up, visitors came to the back door and were ushered into the kitchen. I have lifelong friends and practically spent my childhood summers living in their houses and still couldn’t tell you if their family owned a sofa or not. Can still remember the smells of their kitchens, though.

Sister has a mansion in rural NI. Everyone uses the back door, even though they have to venture through the gate and encounter the fierce dog. Cannot remember ever going through the very nice front door.

But you always have to go out the door you came in through, terrible bad luck if you don’t…..

My (English) husband cannot get the ‘use the back door’ thing. It blows his tiny little mind. Even worse is the house where the front door doesn’t even open but is still referred to as the front door and my parents won’t just turn it into a window. Which would be amazing and beautiful and give the best view.

front doors are for coffins only. If someone knocks you know they are a stranger and probably trying to sell you something. Probably a photo of your house from a drone these days

Grew up in a terraced house in the city..Little brother has done very well for himself and got a wife with a site and road frontage.
Built a standard Mcmansion (boot room/big island/ bi fold doors .. Dermot Bannon style)
Anyway my beloved city slicker mother who is horrified by the location of the house ( "it's in the middle of feckin nowhere") point blank refuses to go in the back door. According to her it was far from two door options he was raised and there is no more important visitor than her.

I only have the one door. I must ask my Dubliner dad what he makes of that.

I grew up in the Westcountry where whichever door is most convenient is generally used. Then spent 15 years living in Sheffield where the back door is king. All of my street had our doorbells letterboxes on the backdoors. My neighbour had her sofa blocking her front door.

Back in the Westcountry now but have kept my backdoor preference. DP and I don't even carry keys to the front door.

This is the most Irish thread I have read in ages. The last time I went through a front door in Fermanagh was following my Auntie’s coffin.

@sugarbyebye
With my gran's cottage and her brother's semi detached, you walk past the perfectly convenient front doors, past the kitchen windows and miaow, like a cat. In theory this allows you the illusion of warning the homeowner without the ridiculousness of knocking.
My mum, has notions and a firmly locked back gate.
We live in a converted barn, it was still a building site when assessed for council tax so we got a very low band on account of our complete lack of front door and hall. Completely did the assessors head in, she kept asking if there was another entrance.

Found this thread in active.
I'm English. As you come down my drive you see the front door and a massive, high side gate.
We would never use the front door. If anyone knocks the front door we shout at them over the side gate.
Yes, we do use the front door for funerals.

Didn't realise this was also a thing in Ireland. I'm from Sheffield and we (and almost everyone I knew) only ever user the backdoor. Moved to manc now and no one does.

I grew up rural England in the seventies. It was back door all the way for daytime friends and family.
Front door was for special occasions, guests, dinner parties and so on. It was a house in the middle of a plot, so you could get to both doors.
It was where you spent most time as a housewife, I think, doing chores in the kitchen and garden.

Ever since I’ve lived in houses with a hidden fenced away back door, and used the lounge regularly 😁
I have often wished I had a back door friend. It’s the height of friendship.

I'm in Ireland, semi-rural area, and use the front door.
So does everyone I know.
I can't think of one house I visit where I go in the back door. (Okay, maybe one actually)

Are we Irishing wrong?😅🤔

"Are we Irishing wrong?"

Hmmmm............
Maybe..........
I'm in "Dubland" ( i.e. used to be rural miles from Dublin but now surrounded by housing estates where 'Dublin people live' ) and the only person like you that comes to mind was a Kiwi that married the guy up the road after the war.....

Cant think of any other friends that dont / didnt use the backdoor

@DaffodilDora same. I don't know a single person who uses their back door but then I'm not rural so a lot of people are in terraces so obviously a completely different set up.

Growing up in the English East Midlands, we never used the front door, only the back. The front door was for the postman, and esteemed guests. My parents have stuck to this religiously throughout my near half decade of life. I'm sure the front door is petrified to the frame, actually.

That's understandable, but lots of the people I know are rural, including several farming families.

At one house I did used to go in the back door (this was years ago), but it made sense because we parked near there. Also, very close relatives.
The others - all front doors in use.

Definitely doing something wrong 😂

Oh tis far from notions we were reared. But ....we still had them because they cost nothing. Even our rainbows were in black and white. But I used to dream of multi coloured ones , always having been a bit of a rebel.

At the risk of a derail , why are so many McMansions rather bleak and sterile looking? Its not illegal to plant, trees flowers or hedges lads. Instead of just a car park with a spoil heap and a green plastic heating oil tank. My next notion will be a forest park in the Midlands. Or maybe a garden city.

Ooh back on topic - I once lived in a 3 roomed cottage which had no back door. I never thought about it before. How very odd!

My gran always said you should go out the door you came in or you'd get red-headed twins.

I don't think I ever stepped through her front door in my entire life and I was 48 when she died.