Fellow Irish abroad, do you ever think seriously about going home? Or have you?

[FlattenedWhite]

Just wondering whether any of you who have lived away for, say, more then ten years, have seriously considered returning to Ireland, and if you did, how has it been? I've been living perfectly happily all over the world since the mid nineties, but the nagging thought that we might be happier in Ireland occasionally comes up. Especially having had a child who is growing up culturally English in a place where neither DH (also Irish) nor I feel as if we want to stay on much longer, and which got us thinking about how different it would be for him growing up in Ireland. And there are things I get impatient with, like the hysteria about Good Schools and the middle-class parenting angst I've never come across to anywhere near the same extent in Ireland. Not to mention Brexit.

But I'm very aware of the experiences of some family friends who'd lived in the US for years, had two children there, moved back to Ireland and lasted less than two years because they weren't able to settle (plus picked an unfortunate moment of downturn...)

Thoughts? I know it's Craicnet, but the heat is making me gloomy...

Oh talk to me in winter, middlings - I'll probably be more cynical. The sunshine is making me all optimistic

Oops, that wasn't to me after all, middlings! Accidentally flipped the thread and thought you were replying to my post

I'm from the North (border) but I wouldn't move back. I would still have access to NHS and the amazing schools in the North but it's all too small and insular for me.

Shite job prospects, shite weather, shite talk. Everyone knowing your business and having to conform to various social bollocks that I've long forgotten.

I also would absolutely not want my DC growing up in NI, the past is not as much in the past as everyone would like.

I wouldn't move down south either. It wouldn't be an improvement on my life here, in fact I think it would be worse.

Middling, what are you referring to when you mention the travellers in carrickmines?
Curious regarding your perspective, speaking as someone who lives locally to the area.

Maxima, I've always been a fan of the Gender Gap report and use it professionally but again, the data spews out some strange results (Rwanda, the Philippines and South Africa to name a few).

And PwC's report earlier this year on Gender Equality at work put Ireland at 25 and the UK at 16 so......

Listen we could argue stats all night.

And believe me, the UK is FAR from a feminist utopia but in terms of women's health there is (generally speaking) more education and better access to services.....not that you know it looking at breastfeeding rates but that's a rant for another day.

I knew this thread would go this way. Always does.

I'm in the US and I've been giving it some thought, since youngest DD is now almost 15 and will be in university in three years. I really have nothing tying me here since I am divorced, and there are no grandchildren, yet. I never became a citizen here.

My two oldest DDs got themselves Irish passports when they were spending a semester in European universities as undergrads. One of them would seriously consider moving to Europe after graduation (she's in her final year) if Trump wins the presidency, not just because of Trump himself but because obv that feat would require millions of votes. I share their misgivings.

TheFear I'm referring to the whole sorry mess. Neither DLRCOCO nor the local residents nor anyone else covered themselves in glory. I was merely using it as an example of the fact that I believe that the issues with travellers and settled people lie more at the door of settled society (and that goes from a policy to a local level) than anywhere else.

Look I really don't to row with anyone. I love Ireland - I grew up there and I'm proud of it. I now live in a country that i also love, but that has Boris Johnson holding a major government post....not perfect.

Teddy, I'm.another one who recognised every word of your post. it's incredibly rare to come across an Irish emigrant who feels that their adopted country is home. I've lived in London for 14 years and was in Edinburgh for 2 years before that. The UK is home for me in a way that Ireland never was. I became a British citizen 4 years ago and consider myself British. I'm holding onto my Irish passport for now though in light of the awful EU referendum result. We don't have children but if we did, they would be British too.

I cannot imagine moving to Ireland now. I'm depressed by many things about the state of the UK, especially since the Brexit vote, but it's home and I cannot imagine living anywhere else. I'm somewhat estranged from my family so visit Ireland very rarely, and that probably contributes to my feeling of having no roots there

middlings Exactly, I can see where you're coming from too.

I think I'd be content to stay in the UK for career reasons (Tories and Boris and all) if I didn't have DC. While I do love the bubble where I live right now, I don't love British culture enough to want them to grow up culturally British, iykwim.

Maybe it would be different if DH weren't Irish and we had something tying us here. But hey ho.

Ah MarDhea I think that's a fundamental difference - DH is British and I am consciously raising British children who have an appreciation of their Irish heritage except in Feb and March when they wear green and sing Shoulder to Shoulder

Doesn't stop the fact that when Dd1 came home from preschool and with great pride showed me the crown she'd made for the queen's birthday my brain said (inwardly), 'But why were you making.....oh yeah!' I literally had to take a moment to remember that, for good or for I'll, that's part of HER culture even if it's not part of mine.

maxima I'm not sure I'm being totally hyperbolic. Somewhat, possibly but when I think about the constitution which specifically mentions mothers as being the heart of the home, or whatever it is, and how that has been misinterpreted by the establishment in so many ways, for so long, I feel pretty angry. Then you transmute that to the removal of bodily autonomy and I just can't get comfortable with it.
It's all very well being happy that women civil servants are paid as much as men now but it's not quite enough I think.
I don't for one moment believe that the uk is some kind of feminist utopia but I just feel more comfortable here. My issue I know.
lottapianos I never really felt as 'at home' in Ireland as I do here. Again my issue, and I'm holding on to my Irish passport in the wake of bloody Brexit but I'd have no issue with getting a uk one if it came to it.
I admit in many ways I am a crap Irish person really!

Same Teddy, this feels like 'joke' in the way that Ireland never did. You're not crap at all, its just how you feel. Home doesn't have to be where you grow up, just as people who feel like family to you are not necessarily related to you by blood. I feel extremely lucky that I got the chance to live somewhere where I truly fit in and feel accepted.

'home' not 'joke' obviously! Stupid phone

Yes. I think about it more and more often these days.

Middling, re the traveler site, I personally know people who were terrorized by the residents of that site. I won't go into identifying detail.
I also know for a fact that the people resident on the site were burning copper wire that night while drinking. This caused a fire that then caused an electrical fire, due to the people on the site messing with the power supply by the county council.
So maybe people's perspective is skewed.

I've just moved home with my DH (not Irish) and our 2 kids. I lived for 13 years abroad, thats where i worked my entire professional life up to the move, met DH, got married, had kids. I was perfectly content over there, felt I was 'home' didn't think about moving back ... until DC1 was born. It was like the urge to have kids, I suddenly couldn't imagine raising them anywhere else than Ireland. I fought the urge for a long time because our professional setup seemed to be much better where we were, as was access to childcare and health services. I had a second DC over there, but that was it, I needed to be back home where my family was.
Thankfully DH was happy to move, and we've been back for 6 months now. Its early days yet, but I think it was a good move. I feel very settled already, DH is happy, the DC are toddlers so they're just happy to have a garden to run in (we lived in a flat before)
We haven't yet noticed that the 'reduced' access to the services we had has made a difference ... on the contrary, we find it easier to get a lot of things done here than where we used to live
And then family .... my family are brilliant ... i had been away so long, i didn't realize how nice it is to have them close, to be able to be around for the christenings, weddings, even funerals. i'm getting to really know my brothers as husbands & fathers and not the scruffy 20 year olds they were the last time i lived at home who happened to get married in the meantime. My DH isn't close to his family as much, they lived a flight away from us anyway, so we just love having family within shouting distance!
So yeah, we like the coutryside, got decent job, good value housing compared to where we were, but family is what has made all the difference for us

elel How are you finding the cost of living?

All our Irish friends and family complain that everything in Ireland is so much more expensive than everywhere else, but it seems to be swings and roundabouts whenever we're back in Ireland and compare to the UK. Some groceries are more expensive, others cheaper. I pay more for electricity than my sister in a similar sized house. I pay less for broadband. And so on.

I know housing costs will almost certainly be higher than where I currently live in the UK, but what about everyday expenses?

MarDhea I came back for ten minutes 18 months about 13 years ago and was HORRIFIED by the cost of living. I come back fairly regularly and would not do a full shop but would get a few bits in for Mum or do top up shops while we're here. On the whole I find fruit and veg and meat much more expensive but other household goods are about the same. Children's activities and eating out are a lot more expensive. My jaw hits the floor when I hear what people here (sorry, I am actually 'here' at the minute!) for things like ballet lessons compared to me.

But then, the weather's lovely and we're off to Brittas with a few sangers on Friday so.......

middlings That's funny, it's the grocery shops I find much the same! I've done a full shop a few times on trips back over the last year and it was pretty much the same price at least by the exchange rate at the time. We don't buy much meat, though, so maybe that makes a difference.

Good to know about the household goods and kids' activities.

Anyone have any comparisons on things like getting a plumber or electrician in? Or car insurance (we currently pay a fortune in the UK)?

Cost of living pretty much evens out for me - housing cost is significantly less than where i was, childcare a good bit more...taxes less, healthcare more...fresh food less, wine more... Now, I've moved to about 40 mins outside of Cork, so fairly rural and couldn't be compared to prices in central Dublin

I lived in a few different places and most recently London.
I loved London as a childless couple but once we had our first I found the nonsense around hospitals, schools and parenting angst beyond irritating. Dublin is just far more down to earth

We tried renting in Surbiton to see if we could hack the commute and lifestyle but living in Dublin seemed far more preferable and we are delighted we made the move.

The positives far outweigh the negatives - in my opinion those who consider Dublin small minded are just friends with the wrong people! Its a cosmopolitan city with all different types of people.

Socially Ireland is far less conservative than it was but the block to abortion is still there.

The religion in education factor is a non event for us as we would have been sending to a faith school in London anyway.

Thanks elel

On the cost of living it really depends on the part of the country you are in.
Property and rent in and around Dublin are extortionate and it is putting some friends off moving home.

In line with that childrens and adults activities are far more expensive in Dublin. I pay 130 euros for monthly membership of a crossfit gym/classes. My friend in Tipperary pays 70 euros for the same thing.
Our tennis club membership and childrens classes are double hers etc etc

Public transport is significantly cheaper than London but obviously not as good and petrol and car tax etc are more expensive in Ireland.

If you look hard enough though there is a lot on for children for free or for very reasonable prices and there are loads of parks and playgrounds (in dublin anyway)

I think groceries are far more expensive in Ireland but I also think the quality of the produce is better. M&S is still M&S but meat in butchers and a lot of fruit and veg is better quality imo. But Lidl and Aldi are everywhere as well.

Hi all.

I left in 1996 and would go back in a heartbeat. But I think mine is just missing the lifestyle, food and family. I could do without the weather, except for when it snows.

Hopefully we'll be back before the kids go to school (they are 17 months and 4 months ATM)