How do people afford a child?

[Zen324]

Hello,

I am turning 30 this year and the thought of parenthood is on my mind. I am not in a major rush, however I would like some advice from others that are in a similar situation financially.

My OH and I have been together for 6 years and we adore eachother. We have a small dog and two cats. We own one car, which is my partners - I am just a named driver. We have a mortgage that unfortunately has gone up this Feb but it's still manageable.

I am roughly on about 25k - The company itself is really great and it's the best job I've had although pay isn't the best. But I do live in Wales so wages aren't necessarily as high.
My partner earns about 42k.
All in all we are comfortable and our bills are paid - they equate to roughly 1600. I pay 700 and he pays 800 with the car on top.

We are comfortable, however I still don't know if I can afford a child.

The cost of childcare is extortionate. The thought of working, even if it is part time just for them to be sent to nursery is hugely off putting. The local nursery charges £57 a full day.

I would have minimal help from grandparents, and it probably wouldn't be consistent weekly help.

My partner and I work shifts so if I was to do set 3 days a week there would be some weeks in which he wouldn't be working those days so there wouldn't be a need for childcare. I don't know if there is a possibility of booking nursery days in advance but I doubt it..

I appreciate some people may be in a better financial position and some in way worse, but I am just baffled at how people do it? I know childcare isn't forever and when they reach a certain age it is subsidised- but you still have to pay for 2.5 days a week for most nurseries.

We try to scrimp in life anyways, we have only ever been abroad once together. We have needed to spend on home maintenance but we have had no fancy holidays and we aren't big spenders.

I am trying my best to build our savings, but it will be so sad if all of that has to go on childcare?

I just can't believe what a world we live in at the moment, that a soon to be 30 year old has to decide between financial stability or pinching pennies to have a baby.

I get 30 isn't "old" but do I just wait and save up for 3 more years and try for a baby then.. what if I leave it too late - maybe I'm self sabotaging?

Any advice please :(

Thanks @letslaughitoff.

OP currently has a partner, so being in a joint partnership will generally contribute more than CM from an ex-partner would.

I think to myself every day how do people afford kids.

I am 35 now and I am single, but in the situation I need to decide SOON if I am going to have children or not and get dating asap, or pay to do it alone. I have been reflecting on life a lot and I just don't think I am broody enough for kids and to make those sacrifices. I feel like being there for my niece might be all the mothering I need in my life, which is not something I thought 10 years ago.

I am also conscious my parents are getting older and mum has said to me she wouldn't be able to support as much as she did for my niece as they aren't as active anymore.

My point is, I think if you want kids then you make do and find a way.

If you aren't so sure/not ready, then I think you will put barriers in the way/excuses to wait.

When I feel broody/sad I go somewhere with children (not in a weird way) such as a shopping centre and I soon get put off - nothing more off-putting than a trip to Smyths😂. If I feel extra broody then I go out for the day with my niece to a farm etc, and the crying etc at the picnic benches or soft play also works wonders. I go home with a new appreciation for my life. 😂😂

Your DH earns £3k net per month, and you earn £1800 net.

You have £1600 fixed costs (+car, or is that the £100 extra to take it up to £1600?). Any student loans or other debts?

That currently leaves you about £3000 for food and disposable income, which is a lot.

You could start saving a good chunk of that to prepare for maternity leave.

Once your child is born (and for you after maternity leave), start both putting the max (£2000 per year) into tax-free childcare account, which the government tops up (so you will each sacrifice £2k, but you get £5k total to spend on childcare).

How much control do you have over your shifts? I have friends who spent years working opposite shifts to minimise childcare costs. It might be that you need to change jobs to have that flexibility.

Having kids is really expensive - but you can afford it if you want to. Obviously you'll have to give up other stuff you currently spend that money on.

Just spotted that you're not married. Do get married first. With your respective salaries, you're likely to sacrifice your own career progression - and being married is what will protect you if you do split up.

It doesn't need to be an expensive wedding. You can always have a bigger 'celebration' party at a later date.