How much per month do you need

[coiled]

Considering moving house to upsize now I have 3dc at home but a 4 bed will really stretch our budget especially with 2dc in wraparound and one starting nursery soon.

I've had a look and think if we went for the house we love we would have around £700 a month left over for a family of 5 for the month - this is after mortgage, childcare, bills and food but doesn't include things like days out, birthdays or saving for Xmas/ emergencies etc.

Just wondering if people think this is doable or would be too much of a stretch. Not moving would save us about another £450 a month but current house is feeling very cramped and cluttered especially with toys etc and everything 3dc come with.

That sounds doable, in your budget jave you accounted for clothing, holidays, repairs etc. Also will you get annual pay rises and bonuses?

I'd save the money and make do.

No the £700 would have to cover all of that. Yes probably some small pay rises each year which would help (prob 2% or so so nothing huge) and in 3 years time childcare would drop by approx 6/700 per month so the idea would be to fix for 3-5 years so that if rates did increase we would have come out the other side of the really expensive nursery years. DH thinks it's fine we can tighten our belts for a few years as the house doesn't need any work etc but I'm a worrier and came from a very poor background and would hate for DC to have to miss out on too much.

@Mumtobabyhavoc that's what I'm leaning towards too and maybe move once DC3 is in school but DH is struggling with the cramped space at home at the minute and is very keen to move. He can be quite impulsive when it comes to buying and I'm quite risk adverse so it's hard to know who's actually got their heads screwed on this time lol

I’d wait a few years and make do. You’ve not accounted for things like emergencies, savings, clothing/new shoes/boots, activities, days out, holidays etc. The lack of savings would worry me and not having any buffer.

Could you stay in the house but get a garden office or something like that?

I personally wouldn't want to stretch my finances.

The only other factor is that a family member has offered to buy our home as a buy to let for their retirement fund - if we wait that offer will no longer be on the table and we would have to put our house on the market in a few years time and pay an fees etc associated with that

Some people have zero choice, it’s a real crossroads for you. What you need to do is work out a budget for basic birthdays and the occasional treat, hobby. Plus what savings do you already have, if any?

How much clutter? As they get older the amount of stuff they have decreases hugely.

We decided to not upsize, it meant a mortgage paid off early, lots of lovely holidays, sometimes multiple per year and an early retirement. It was easier times as mortgage taken out in 1999 but no regrets.

@iamnotalemon a garden office would be a great idea but current garden is quite small. It is enclosed and usable though and has enough space for DC to play in the better weather.

I can do £100 a week and not struggle

Start saving the theoretical £450 a month in a savings account don’t touch, and see how that goes.. that is your answer

@ViciousCurrentBun this sounds like what I've suggested - making do for a few more years and having a more comfortable life style to enjoy time with the kids and holidays etc.

So much clutter haha but it's par for the course and maybe some creative storage js a better idea, although my upstairs currently looks like an advert for ikea units

@KarmaKarmaKarm that's a great idea! We could try that for a couple of months and see how it goes. It will coincide with DC3 starting nursery too so more than 1k a month than we are currently paying out on mortgage and childcare which seems a lot to me and makes me very nervous - but I know I do tend to freak out over any big purchases in general and think that's coming from having had quite a deprived childhood money wise

Always go for security first. I look at it like this: more money for emergencies (that always crop up when you're skint) and more money for dc. There's power in being able to save.

We up sized, without a doubt the best thing we've done. We also have 3 dc, they each have their own room and we like being at home now. We have room to play games together and dh can wfh with ease. We have more garden space.

I think it depends what lifestyle you want. We had a lot of cheap self catering, UK breaks when the DC were small and it's only been in more recent years that we've upgraded to more luxury options or gone abroad. We also don't have a lot of clothes, virtually all of dc stuff was 2nd hand/ H&M. We have always eaten fairly simple vegetarian food. We spent the weekends going for walks or finding new parks, taking flasks with us. These days we have more money to do more costly activities and our house has increased in value.

It's a tough decision. I can see both sides but for me, knowing nursery is only for a few years, I'd go for it

I would frankly stay put. £700 isn't a big buffer with what you need to fund out of it and our illustrious socialist government is going to have to redistribute (aka tax) what little you have, on top of other tax increases coming through in April due to their spending plans so I would bank on your buffer reducing.

I had this choice when DC were primary age. I decided to stay where we were. I'm now mortgage free for the uni years. I've been able to get new kitchen/sofas/carpets/garden without worrying. We've had so many days out and fabulous holidays over the years that we wouldn't have had with a huge mortgage. Plus now it's just me and a 16yo, the house feels empty - when it's just me it'll echo 😂.

I'm glad we didn't move.

It's so hard! We've seen the perfect house and it's got lots of space and would be perfect for dc as they get older and want friends over and some space for themselves. DC has a friend coming over on Saturday and it's a squeeze and DS2 will no doubt be on top of them and "ruining" their games.

It's a great price as sellers have had their last sale fall through so it's priced to sell especially as we will have no chain with MiL buying our house. I worry we won't have such a good opportunity again.... but the last few years have been scary the way things have gone with the cost of living and I've been so grateful we have our small mortgage so even with the rate increases we haven't felt too much of a pinch.

Ahh what to do...

I would go for the house but save as much money as possible. Have you factored in things like school uniforms?

It actually seems a very good option to go for it op - but take your time and think things through

if it makes you more comfortable on a day to day I would do it (and try and cut back on frivolous things) that’s what we did

Depends on so many factors, how comprehensive your budget really is before you arrive at the £700 left over, lifestyle expectations, any changes coming up, eg what if you need to replace a car or do home improvements/repairs?

Might it be worth holding on until your youngest needs less childcare, hopefully by which time you'll have more spare money?

Totally understand why DH wants to move, can't be easy with a family of five and obviously you have the benefit of an easy move without agents fees.

We're all different in terms of what we feel we need and want to pay for things. It's worth looking at what you can cut back on, or lifestyle changes you can make to save - anything helps - cut back on food shop by making cheaper choices, walk instead of using the car, would you be happy with cheaper days out, cut back on cost of presents or have a chat with family/friends about not exchanging presents in the future. Insurance, mobile bills could come down etc.
Not for everyone, but we had many cheap breaks camping and had a great time.

Would it be possible for one of you to work a few more hours? It was only one night a week, but DH used to work in a bar, I got an extra job which was one night a week and Sundays.

I am generally all about not overstretching budgets, especially with house purchases. But this seems like a good opportunity - motivated seller and easy sale of yours. Also, if the new house will suit your family better it may save money that you might have spent going out more. You can be happier at home, which is often the cheapest way to socialise. Kids friends can come over instead of you arranging meet ups at soft play or activity places. You can host friends and family at home instead of at restaurants. Childcare is a short term expense and if the DC are younger you can avoid starting lots of expensive hobbies rather than having to cut them back later (much simpler imo).

But if the house needs work or decorating or you feel the pressure to buy furniture to fill it, then keep that in mind.

Also I would be wary of selling to someone I knew well though, in case of issues with the property in the future - but maybe I am projecting my relatives onto yours!

Do you mean you would have £700 left after all bills and food?

So £700 a month for clothes, shoes, haircut, car expenses, days out etc?

We are a family of 6 on one salary

We have national trust membership so lots of "free" days out obviously not actually free but not paying each time. We have family gym membership aswell.

All clothes except pants and socks come from vinted/second hand sites.

Christmas we do 3-4 presents each and keep it fairly simple.

We only holiday in the UK once a year

If you can keep a buffer (a couple of months of living expenses )in a separate savings account, I'd go for it.
If your bank account would be at £0 after the move, I wouldn't.
Have you factored in petrol / car bills as well as house ones?