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Original poster

Is she paying too much?!

50 replies

finleysmummy · 09/10/2024 07:08

An elderly relative, lives with another relative. The relationship has broken down.
It has come to light that our elderly relative has been paying them £250 a month for the last two years for their gas and electricity.

She lives in a very small studio type annex, one small shower room (rarely uses shower just strip wash), no washing machine or dishwasher. Usually only uses microwave or kettle and tv. She does have underfloor heating in a very small area but this only kicks in when temps drop.
This amount was set up to be paid to the other relatives as direct debit.

We live in a 4 bed house with 4 people and do not pay this amount.

Before we help her raise this issue with them we would be grateful to have some rough ideas of what people pay for a studio/ one bed flat for one person.

Any estimates would greatly support in helping her with this.

OP posts:
FrenchandSaunders · 09/10/2024 07:10

It’s not just gas and electricity though is it! She’s renting a studio/annex so that sounds very reasonable to me.

Franhollywood · 09/10/2024 07:11

Hi - if just for utilities then too much, but hard to say without knowing what else she pays. Does she pay rent, food etc on top or is £250 for everything?

Gazelda · 09/10/2024 07:21

Does she pay other bills? Rent, water, insurance, council tax, maintenance etc?

Is there any way you can help her to move to somewhere more comfortable? It must be miserable living in such close proximity with someone you don't get on with.

ClashCityRocker · 09/10/2024 07:35

Whereabouts in the country are you? Round here (northern but fairly affluent town) spare room type rentals go at £500-£600 pcm inclusive of bills so £250 does seem on the cheaper side for what is effectively a studio flat.

MeMyCatsAndI · 09/10/2024 07:40

It's not just gas/elec though is it? I'd imagine some of that is rent too. Thats ridiculously cheap.

Blushingm · 09/10/2024 07:51

I'm in a 3 bed with me and DS and DD when she's home from uni. All out all day and rarely if ever use the heating.

I pay £255 per month on energy

So her having tv on all day, kettle, lights and probably heating it's possible - plus she's not contributing to council tax or water etc and not paying 'rent' then I think it sounds reasonable

EveryDayisFriday · 09/10/2024 07:57

How does she eat or clean her clothes? Is food, washing and cleaning included?

Original poster
finleysmummy · 09/10/2024 08:03

Sorry, to clarify. The £250 is just for elec/gas. She pays for food, water, phone, tv, broadband on top of this.
She probably has 2-3 cups of tea a day and one microwave meal at max some days she just eats a sandwich or cold food.
Rent is not paid as that formed the basis of her moving in (to not have to pay rent and to have them to care for her).

Thanks for your replies, it's exactly why we wanted to check first before going back to them.

OP posts:
Original poster
finleysmummy · 09/10/2024 08:09

Gazelda · 09/10/2024 07:21

Does she pay other bills? Rent, water, insurance, council tax, maintenance etc?

Is there any way you can help her to move to somewhere more comfortable? It must be miserable living in such close proximity with someone you don't get on with.

This is just gas and electric. Other bills are on top.

There are other things going on at the moment too that we are in the process of waiting for a social worker so we can try and get her moved but they have a 6months plus waiting list so trying to work things out for the next few months.

OP posts:
Trebolle · 09/10/2024 08:10

If she's not paying rent sounds like a bargain.

Franhollywood · 09/10/2024 08:10

Sounds like she’s paying the entire bill for the house then - good luck OP.

DoreenonTill8 · 09/10/2024 08:11

Rent is not paid do the £250 isn't that bad is it? Who is the relative? Is she your DM and living with your sibling?

DoreenonTill8 · 09/10/2024 08:13

we are in the process of waiting for a social worker so we can try and get her moved
Does she have a level of need then that you need a sw for?
Is it for a care home or sheltered housing?

EmotionalBlackmail · 09/10/2024 08:15

It might be a good idea to ask for this to be moved to the Elderly Parents board (doesn't matter if she isn't your parent!).

It sounds like a carer breakdown situation and you'll find a lot of people on there with experience of dealing with social services and getting care set up.

HappyAutumn01 · 09/10/2024 08:16

It depends how much they are paying for the other bills you mention. Are they paying one sum for everything or separate amounts?

CautiousLurker · 09/10/2024 08:25

finleysmummy · 09/10/2024 08:03

Sorry, to clarify. The £250 is just for elec/gas. She pays for food, water, phone, tv, broadband on top of this.
She probably has 2-3 cups of tea a day and one microwave meal at max some days she just eats a sandwich or cold food.
Rent is not paid as that formed the basis of her moving in (to not have to pay rent and to have them to care for her).

Thanks for your replies, it's exactly why we wanted to check first before going back to them.

It sounds as though they are in effect charging her rent. Our monthly electric bill is £220 and our gas bill not far off that… but we have a 5(+2) bed home, two ASD teens who wear an item for ten mins before putting it in the wash, and are heavy users of heating/hot water/devices and the washer dryer is used 12x a week! So, no, I think that unless they do actually want to charge her explicitly for rent as well, this is far too much.

Doggymummar · 09/10/2024 08:29

We are two in a row bed bungalow, our gas and electricity is over £300 a month, never been able to work out why. Sounds on though if it includes her insurance council tax and rent. Cheap deal

mrsm43s · 09/10/2024 08:31

A split of bills where she pays the whole households elecricity and gas whilst not contibuting any rent, council tax, insurances, maintenance and repairs etc seems fine.

What's the total monthly amount she's paying? We pay about £1K per month after mortgage in general bills and that doesn't take into account maintenance.

Also, is the relative receiving some care, being driven around, having errands run for the as part of the package.

FWIW, it's much better to have things clearly laid out and a clear rent amount paid, clear délit of bills etc. But I think it's a bit much to whinge about paying one bill for the family who are hosting you rent free, and like providing free care too.

DoreenonTill8 · 09/10/2024 08:31

If she's struggling to pay this, I think you have to make sure she's got all the benefits she should, I can't imagine anywhere she'll get a new tenancy for rent and gas/electric for anywhere near £250 a month?

ComingBackHome · 09/10/2024 08:35

3beds here, but only 2 pers, and we pay around £200~210 a month for gas and electricity.

I think you’re right to double check how much it would be for a small flat.
It also expect it to be different if a flat vs a detached bungalow etc…
Remember not all houses are well insulated too.

mrsm43s · 09/10/2024 08:40

Presumably you could also offer to have them live with you for free and you provide all their care if you think a £250 a month contribution towards living costs is too much.

Honestly, I think you have quite a cheek to try to challenge this. Your elderly relative has had a fantastic deal at your other relative's expense if all they've paid is £250 a month plus personal bills for a safe home with care included. Market rate in a care home is around £1500 a WEEK in our area.

MrsBobtonTrent · 09/10/2024 08:51

Whether it's a bargain depends on the initial agreement. It could be one of those arrangements whereby an elderly person sells up and hands over their house equity for a relative to buy a bigger house in return for "free" accommodation and a helping hand as they age. In that case, effectively hiding a rent payment in a utility bill is a bit underhand and it can be near impossible for the elderly person to withdraw their "investment" and move elsewhere.

The electric charge seems high. It doesn't sound like the annex has its own meter. I wonder what the utility bills for the whole property are.

Twiglets1 · 09/10/2024 08:55

We charge our 26 year old son £400 a month to live at home so £250 plus a bit extra for other things sounds fine to me.

As she isn’t paying rent as such, it’s reasonable for her to pay towards the household expenses. Where else could she live so cheaply?

Bjorkdidit · 09/10/2024 09:10

How much is the whole utility bill for the house and the annex? You say she doesn't use much but if there's poor insulation and/or an immersion heater, the annex could cost that much if she's careless so worth investigating properly.

Is the annex subject to council tax and if so, who pays that?

She pays for food, water, phone, tv, broadband on top of this

Does she have her own water, phone, TV and broadband bill or is she paying some or all of the household bills?

It could be a situation where she's getting a great deal or she could be being exploited or it could be something in the middle but it's hard to say without a fuller picture of the situation.

Viviennemary · 09/10/2024 09:15

Doggymummar · 09/10/2024 08:29

We are two in a row bed bungalow, our gas and electricity is over £300 a month, never been able to work out why. Sounds on though if it includes her insurance council tax and rent. Cheap deal

I agree. If that includes other bills such as rates then it's not a bad deal. She would pay a lot more living on her own. However, it sounds like it isn't working out. She might be better with her own place.