Grocery bill getting out of control

[Gardencentrevoucher]

I've just had a major row with DH over the credit card bill. Its his card that I don't see the statements for and he is really bad at letting me know what the bills will be. The money comes out of a joint account and this is the third month in a row the bill has been way higher than I expected. Apart from a one off big purchase the entire bill was food shopping and petrol. DH does a weekly online shop at Asda and also drops into Aldi most weeks after his football practice. I need to somehow get the next bill much much lower without another huge row!

I've worked out we are spending £20 per day on food on average, or £5/person per day.

We're a family of 4 (2 adults/2 kids at primary school) and I just can't believe we need to spend that much on food. We don't drink alcohol or eat out often. It seems like a crazy amount of money for just normal family grocieries.

What is a reasonable amount per person per day or per week to budget for spending on food? Ideally I'd like it to be £10-£12 max to get the credit card back under control

4 adults, and we spend £80 per week. No alcohol.

Gousto for 4 adults, 4 nights a week is about £50... do that twice and throw in another say £30 for eggs, milk, cereal, yoghurt, bread etc and you're set for the week.

May have to go down the Gousto or Hello Fresh route to force DH into cooking. I hear everyone saying cook from scratch to save money and if it was me off work and him working I'd gladly cook everything from scratch, but Mon to Fri I often don't have the time, or if it was left till I got home from work it'd be 7pm before we ate and the kids would be starving/full of snacks/up too late.

This isn't the point of the thread but DH seems either unable or unwilling to cook much beyond his limited repertoire. He's fine with bolognaise or scrambled eggs type meals but seems to find following a new recipe difficult. If it says it takes 40 mins it would take him double that and the kitchen would have every surface covered in mess and every pan used. So he's fallen into habits of using pre-prepared supermarket meals a lot and he hates it if I dare to suggest he learns to cook better. It'd be a lot easier if he went back to work but that is a whole different subject.

Anyway its helpful to hear we're not spending wildly more than others although I fully agree meal planning and pproper cooking would definitely be an improvement. I'm going to end up doing it myself though or it probably won't happen

I'm going to end up doing it myself though or it probably won't happen

Well that doesn’t sound much of a solution. If you’re doing full time employment and full time cooking for family …

It’s a pity … Domestic cooking really isn’t about following a formal recipe - it’s about understanding basic ingredients and being able to improvise repeatedly with what you have. He should really want to get on top of this.

Anyway - I’ve pontificated enough! Good luck with it all, @Gardencentrevoucher.

If your DH struggles with recipes, Gousto and the like might not be the answer. I’m a very experienced cook, can follow most recipes without a problem - I really struggle with Gousto! I think it’s the way their cards are written. I’ve rewritten my favourites now so I can follow them.

We shop at Aldi and Asda for things Aldi doesn’t stock (red onion and chive bagels for one, four cheese blend grated cheese for another). We usually spend £100 a week for 2 adults and 2 primary kids. It includes most toiletries/loo roll/cleaning stuff but not washing powder.

I buy for one woman and one teen boy who eats a lot. I spend £60 a week in Tesco, which includes cleaning stuff and basic toiletries, so I guess about £50 a week on food. No alcohol. So £7 a day.

I cook from scratch, plenty of fruit & veg. Cheaper cuts of meat and frozen fish. Generally I avoid brands. DS also has school lunch 36 weeks a year.

I think it depends on what food your dh expects, if alcohol included, and if your dcs are fussy eaters.

See, your problem is that your DH does not know how to cook and doesn't want to learn.

You planning to read the thread now, @CharlotteRumpling ?

I just saw OPs update about cooking herself. Weaponised incompetence works well for men, doesn't it?

The problem is your lazy dh refusing to cook decent food for his family when he is home all day and insisting on always eating meat!

Did a basic weekly shop at Lidl last week and for two it was £75 (flabbergasted). That only included a chicken, no other meat as I have plenty in freezer, and a few bulk household items. (Also DH bought a few extras through the week, about £5-6 worth. ) Olive oil has really spiked up - 1l from Lidl, £6! That price used to be for premium brand olive oil.

The DH keeps a spreadsheet for the last few years, yup nerd, and our shopping is now twice as expensive and unless we stop eating (and to be fair, I usually only buy veg, dairy, fruit and meat/fish - hardly any prepacked or tin foods), I'm not going to be able to reduce it much lower. Let's see what it is this week.

Forget about anything more complicated. Get your dh to stick to some truly simple recipes.

Making an omelette is faster than ordering a takeaway, and grating some cheese and chopping some tomatoes & spring onions to put in it is hardly stretching anyone's abilities. Add bread & butter or oven chips.

Basic tomato & garlic pasta sauce. Add some frozen mussels or buy some lardons he can quickly fry and throw in. Boiling wholemeal pasta can't be beyond him.

Show him how to stuff a pepper with sausage meat - takes five mins - bake for 45 mins and serve with wholemeal garlic bread.

Chicken fajitas - fry some chicken breasts with pre-mixed spices, shred some lettuce, microwave the tortillas, spread with a bit of creme fraiche & assemble.

He already knows how to make scrambled eggs - so just add some bits of smoked salmon and serve with some broccoli.

Plus bolognese.

That's a working week of suppers without him trashing the kitchen or costing you a fortune. 😀

You can still go to the supermarket after work or on a weekend OP. Try doing a shop at Aldi and buy the things you like too, sounds odd saying eating meat is DH choice.

My food shopping is seriously out of control. Now I will fully admit I buy lots of things like waitrose easy to cook meals and waitrose ready prepared vegetables. I buy some tesco finest (I also buy some Tesco stockwell cheap range). Since start of year I have spent
Tesco £480
Waitrose £580
So that's what about £150 per week. That's for me plus one very spoilt dog who eats a steak, a lamb steak or chicken portion every day. He has dog food too bought separately but that does not cost much.

I really do have to get a handle on it. I will say I am a homebody and spend next to nothing on going out. I also dye my own hair, get 2 cuts per year, don't drink, don't go on holiday. So food is one of my 'luxuries' and I do indulge in good food, yummy deserts etc. Just done a two week shop coming tomorrow which includes 2 x ribeye steaks for dog, 4 lamb steaks for dog, 2 packets of cooked chicken thighs for dog, 1packet finest honey ham cos he loves it. He gets dog treats in the shopping too. The rest is mine.

One thing I do love and eat alot of is baked potato with prawn cocktail in it. Even that though is expensive now around £3 per dinner and if you want a large portion of prawns in it you could easily spend £4. Prawns are expensive.

When waitrose brings my £200 approx shopping order to door there is very little there. I mean it is in 4 crates usually so not a huge shop. Used to get much more for the same money.

@MrBenschangingroom you seem to have missed out the part of your post that relates to the OP’s situation?

Have you actually done the food shop recently? Prices are crazy.

It sounds like a reasonable amount to me in your circumstances.

Yeah, but I can't believe what she feeds her dog! He gets more meat than most people!

DH and I spend around £500pm on food, toiletries etc (except alcohol).

@MrBenschangingroom

Don't beat yourself up . It sounds like quality of food is important to you and you economise in other areas .

I am also living alone and spend similar for myself and 2x DDogs . The dogs have butternut box at £50 + per week and I spend probs £80 - £100 in Waitrose for me .

I am not in debt and good quality food together with ethically reared meat / animal products are important to me .

The OP was asking what is reasonable to spend. So I'm giving her my costs so she has a comparison. There is no right or wrong figure. Each person has to cut their cloth according to their financial circumstances and their priorities.

I wish my food bill was smaller but everything just seems very expensive now.

However it can be useful to see what others spend and why their bill is the way it is.

Thank you for your post. That is actually very reassuring to hear that others are spending a similar amount. I have tried my dog on so many different dog foods and he just goes off them after a while. He was on raw dog food complete meals which were quite expensive anyway and I was delighted he was eating them. Then he got bored!

Like you I have no debt or mortgage and retired due to inheritance so I can 'afford' it but it still makes me shudder sometimes when I see the bills!

He perhaps does. Ironically I eat chicken and fish but not red meat and I hate handling all the steak/lamb. The smell makes me feel a bit sick.

I know he is spoiled but he is a priority to me and like I say I live very frugally in other areas.

As everyone says, these days, £140 isn't bad for a family of four. But I get it - costs are high.

Things I've found helpful to keep the bills down a bit:

1. Rigourous meal planning. Although it doesn't sound like your DH is on board with that or will put that effort in. Part of meal planning is looking at th meals over the week and thinking where can you cut/ adapt to buy cheaper products etc. It also prevents the ad hoc shopping which tends to get expensive, not least because so often you're doing it at convenience stores which are very expensive, and the costs quickly add up if you're doing that 2-3 times a week.
2. One or two meals a week that are cheap as chips. So, for example, in our case, if things are really tight and we really really want to cut back, we'll have baked beans on toast or turned Ito a sort of stew by chucking in some onion and a splash of vinegar or whatever. On this note, we do eat pancakes/waffles more often for breakfast than others but to be honest, It's quite a cheap way to eat and I definitely save now that I'm not buying multiple boxes of cereal a week.
3. Look at the non-meal stuff. I'm constantly SHOCKED at how much of our grocery bill isn't actually our dinners. It's breakfast, lunch, and the random extras from cleaning materials to tin foil. if you can find ways to cut back on those, that can help. You can make smarter choices in what you buy, look for deals etc. (which, based on what you've said, I suspect your DH is not doing - he's just buying what he always buys week in and week out). But examples of where deals/ making smarter choices can really work include: eggs (shocking the difference in price per egg if you buy a free range, mixed size box of 12 vs an organic box of 6 large eggs for example), ham/sandwich meats, cheese, yoghurt, cereals, flour, oils etc.

You are not over buying it’s the prices.
I’m alone and spent £50 - 70 in the last week. I cook from scratch and never throw food away

How can you possibly spend less than £5 pp per day on food?! Ask him exactly what he'd like you to leave out.